georgym Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 OK... i posted a message a few days ago about how do i deal with a relationship...As of yesterday, i think my one-year w/NK is done...Now, first of all, it's very confusing. We've done this before, like twice, only to get back together again after a week or 2. I KNOW we have feelings for each other, and we've been together for e year, being friends b4 that. But yesterday, get this! She tells me all this shit: 1. she's not ready for a commitment (after being together 4 a year) 2. She thinks relationships are caused by people's insecurity (HELLOOO, and what about attraction?/?) and 3. she doesn't feel normal around people (guys n girls) when she's in a relationship!Now, we are 2 strange people... and everyone that sees us knows that.. but this is just ludicris! We've shared sooooo much together, and now she lays this on me... how am i supposed to act?/?I have to admit, though... i pursued her too much. I called her too much, which IS A NONO! Even yesterday, i drove to her house to surprise her with a gift, which she didn't dig. I can understand that, and told her i won't do it again.... but man, is she unstable.I just feel like i'm going through the ringer. On one hand, i LOVE her and no matter what she does still enjoy being with her. But on the OTHER hand, when she does shit like ending our relationship EVEN THOUGH we have so much in common, i'm left dumbfounded! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassmaster Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 The only thing i know about women is that you can't live with em...and you can't kill em!!! (Just kidding)You'll get over it bro. You can definitly love more than one person in your life...Get busy livin or get busy dyin bro...I suggest the first part! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clubkat Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 understand myself!Then again im a kitty......so meow!::cheerupbabe:: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicinfusion Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 i understand girls ... you have to if you need something hahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Well perhaps this little formula that I came up with can help you out:(I expect the Nobel prize for it later this year)http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?threadid=52485*But I DO feel your pain man... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 gmccookny, my advice (I'm a gurl) is to let it (her) go...Its not worth you getting all worked up, especially if thats the frame of mind she's in right now. Give her some time and space and see what happens...I was in a similar predicament myself and I was dumbfound after all we've been through as friends that it would change forever, once *love* was entered into the relationship...Everything changes (all the time IMHO) when friends become lovers. Relationship like this are best done with REALLY mature people on both ends that behave like rational results. Trust me you are not going to get a straight answer from her, because she is confused herself right now. Just lay-off be cool, enjoy yourself and come back to the situation at a later time. Luckily she'll beat you to the punch, and offer an apology for her behavior and things will be set right again...But for now...PARTAY ON! -Dr. Jamms "atyourservice" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 I'm with Jammy 100%. I too am a female (for all the freaks that respond to my posts with "bro") and from what I read....she's feeding you nothing but excuses, which definetly means she's totally confused and dosen't know what she wants. Just let her be and use the space for some U TIME. You never know....usually after you get over it all, you realize your happier without the person that's bringing you down.Sorry Sweetie :spin2: :spin2: :spin2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 i've said it before and i'll say it again~~~~>*the only way to get over one is to get under another!*seriously though...i'm a girl and i am telling you...FORGET HER! move on..from what you are saying..you seem very nice and could probably get another girl. OR just party it up and get some major ass! LoL....j/k....GoOd LuCk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vision Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 maybe she just wants to keep you in her little black book under booty call...nuthin wrong with that...its just the way the world has always been...boomerang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neena1979 Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Don't take what she saying as a bad thing (I know you've been together for a year) She's being honest with you and herself. Would you rather her stay with you (make you happy) and she'll be unhappy? Let her do her thing. Don't hate her for it because then that'll ruin the friendship you still have. Show her that you're understanding even though it hurts you. This will help her get through whatever doubts she's having about relationships and she'll be able to take commitment more seriously. If your still around when she's done experimenting then you can give your relationship another chance. If not then it wasn't meant to be. BUT you'll always that friendship......at least you wouldn't lose her totally. That's just my advice. I was that girl once. Almost the same situation but the guy didn't understand and we ended up losing our friendship and our relationship. It was a mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwyllion Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 I had a similar experience as neena and I totally agree with her 100%. You both need to act like mature adults about this. My ex and I went through tough times, but we are still very good friends. When one or both parties get jealous about a move like this, it can be a disaster. The only way to make amends is to see the point of view from the other person's eyes and let them have their space. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "if you love someone, set them free...". Showing someone that you care enough to give them their space can mean a lot. Maybe she and you just don't click. I really needed an independent man, someone who wasn't a total pushover. I loved him, but he just wasn't meant for me. Go out and have fun being single. Believe me, you can love more than once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted October 10 Author Report Share Posted October 10 Geesh, i never realized how tough it is...All you guys n gals really make me see it for what it is ( even you, MuGz, nice equation, and i didn't like math!)It's really hard to let go of her, espec. after all we've been through. I just think that for the future, i don't want to get so serious so quick again. If i had known this sooner, a lot of heartache would have been avoided. But I DO believe that i gotta move on, and hope to just get her off my mind, cause that's what's making me so depressed lately.I'm going to see orbital this Saturday, and may have an xtra ticket... if anyone's interested, email me: DaCount5@aol.comat least there's a bright spot to this week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwyllion Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 One other thing gmccookny, DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT get into another serious relationship right away. I was in dating my ex for 3 years and when we broke up (mutually, of course) it was the hardest thing I ever did. I was depressed for months. I thought i responsible and I wasn't sure if i made the right decision. I didn't talk to anyone, didn't eat, blah, blah, blah........ you get the point. What I did in that time was work on myself and figure out what went wrong, what I wanted, why I did what I did, and tried to fix my own personal problems. Seven months later, I am a stronger, more mentally and emotionally ready person. I probably dated like 8 or 9 people in that couse of time, but I just met the most wonderful person..... It will take awhile to get over her, but you must be strong and face challenges and temptations that may come your way. Don't fall for the first person you meet, or the second, unless you know that they are truly meant for you. Take the time to work on yourself, because if you're not happy with yourself, you can never be happy with anyone else. I wish you the best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 i dont understand them either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtcgirlie Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Don't even bother trying to understand girls. Its impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by xtcgirlie Don't even bother trying to understand girls. Its impossible. yea she can vouch for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtcgirlie Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by msoprano13 yea she can vouch for that Hey! STop telling my biz:tongue: no its true I can't even understand myself let alone someone else trying to understand me* then again everyone is different Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 i'm with XTCgirl....who the hell would WANT to understand us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtcgirlie Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by marcid21 i'm with XTCgirl....who the hell would WANT to understand us? I know right? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kludgio Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 men are so cute and silly. they seriously have no clue what is going on. and women have to remember that, and help them out or at least be sympathetic once in a whilewomen also tend to be much moodier and high-maintenence than men. for instance, i got mad at my bf for not telling me there is a zoo in Central Park. and another time for not capitalizing my name in writing. silly things: they don't matter in the big scheme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vision Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by xtcgirlie Don't even bother trying to understand girls. Its impossible. you gotta just love women for who or what they are...if its a woman that you've connected with and maybe had some private moments that doesn't mean that she is your girl...if you've caught feelings for a flirt or someone that dresses like a hoochie remember that she isn't going to change for overnight for you and keep in mind that those are a few of the qualities that made you catch feelings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 Well, I've grown up with most of my friends being girls. They're decipherable, I'll tell you that, but it's something you have to "experience" rather than learn through description.Live with them long enough, and you'll see what I mean.Men and women, a lot of their priorities in life are different (often), physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally speaking. but men tends to be a lot more obvious when it comes to their "behavior". And I would bet right now that aside from the socially stereotypical perceptions of men (IE, sports, passing gas, cars, sex on the brain every 6 seconds, blah blah blah), women aren't that great at deciphering men either.Women, however, don't bitch about it as much as Men do about not understanding the opposite sex. Once again, men are a lot more obvious about it.And GMCcookny, I'll see you at the Orbital show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefpax Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 One thing I have definitely learned about girls after a few l/t relationships and hard breakups is:1) the only way to get over a girl is to not contact her at all; and2) the only way to get a girl back is to not contact her at all....Its not up to us (guys) its up to them, if she wants you, she will call and if not she won't....doing anything else just plays to them (not that I haven't done it)...good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted October 10 Author Report Share Posted October 10 Originally posted by chiefpax One thing I have definitely learned about girls after a few l/t relationships and hard breakups is:1) the only way to get over a girl is to not contact her at all; and2) the only way to get a girl back is to not contact her at all....Its not up to us (guys) its up to them, if she wants you, she will call and if not she won't....doing anything else just plays to them (not that I haven't done it)...good luck chiefpax, you may be new to the board, but that's alot of good workable advice you gave me there.the thing is i'm ALWAYS the one calling her (like 75%). I'm sure if i lay off for a few days, she'll be like "O george, wherever have you gone?" And if not,,, o well, i won't call her anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJGaryMatthews Posted October 10 Report Share Posted October 10 women are complex, confusing lifeforms :confused: :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.