Relationships are for Grown-ups

[georgym]

yeah, people! not to say i'm not a grown up, it's just that when you're between the ages of 18-25, you gotta live a little!

I'm just getting over a relationship that, to me, has been one of the toughest things to do in my life. I've gone through death, tragedy and physical pain, but nothing so gut-wrenching as a breakup.

Maybe it's for the bond you made with that person, maybe it's the constant reminders lurking everywhere of what you did together, or just missing that affectionate touch.

I'm thinking i want to wait till i'm ready for something like that, because to get into another one is like walking on a highwire ___

i just don't want to risk being hurt like that again

Does anyone here share the same worries/anxieties, or is everyone hunkey-doorey with their soul-mate?/? And how do you control something from getting so serious?/?

[sextacy911]

ure right... being in a relationship sux... i havent had too many girlfriends in my life... but the couple that i had always wanted me to call them... the reson we broke up was "we arent spending enough time together"... with a 1 night stand.. u dont have to worry about shit like that...

like girls.. there going "u havent called me in 3 days"...

men.. were going "shit i just called u 3 days ago... what the hell are you mad about??"

see wut i mean?

[georgym]

i hear you, 911...but my problem was one of suffocation

me and my ex would see each other ALL the time. Call 3X a day, do SOOO much. We even agreed to only see each other on weekends... but that didn't work.

It's just hard, cause when you're on the phone at 11:30 at night, wishing them sweet dreams and telling them "ILU" at the end of every conversation, i NEVER saw an end coming!

So that's why i am NOT gonna repeat the previous steps. It's fun, it's great, but if it comes crashing down someday, you'll have a lot of healing to do.

a but getting smurf

[sextacy911]

i hear u bro... hope u feel better...

[romy20]

Wow, i know exactly what u mean when u say about worries/anxieties and stuff like that. me and my bf have been together for over 2 years, and there was a time when we broke up (but for like 3 days and got back together), seriously i thought my life was gonna be over. i didnt want to do anything, i just wanted to sit in my room and cry. it got really bad.

and now that we are together, thats what i worry about, that whats gonna happen when one day we really do break up forever, i dont know what i would do. caues that pain that i felt for those 3 days was something that i cant even describe. i felt totally empty.

and now im just scared for that to happen again.

i know some people who break up and stuff, and yeah they hurt but its like htey get over it quickly, but im not that kind of person:(

but hey good luck witheverything hope it all works out

[sassa]

Maybe not for grown-ups...but for those who can handle a serious relationship...I know I cannot right now..but it all depends on the guy you're with...if you're with someone who has their own life as well and you don't need to see each other 24/7,then for me at least this is a great relationship...

[karch]

I think what your trying to get at GMC is not handling the relationship.. it's handling the break up. I don't think how mature you are, makes a difference on how you can handle a break up. I think when your attatched to someone and you break up.. it hurts a lot no matter what age you are.

But I see the point where when your older your more inclined to know "what you want." Also you are more capable of just settling down. So when your younger... just see what's out there. I try to be like that... but I'm the kinda person, once that "love bug" hits I can't help it. haha

[blowflyii]

You will be ok....you have kept respect,trust and space all alone it is a tough thing to do....but Im proud of you gmc...I believe in soulmates too...maybe its not reality based...but everyone wants to think that they have a special penguin...someone they can go to the grave with. Advice for the girls...when we are young we put too much intensity about spending time with one another. What happends is a smothering mess that leads to disaray. It is hard also to say something and do it...it is so easy to do the opositer of what you say.

[georgym]

i agree with all you guys...getting over relationships is a tough thing for anyone...

And looking back in hindsight, i WISH i could have controlled it a bit better. Me and Nicole would just do our thing w/out thinking of the consequences. We put everything secondary (her school, my job), and those things got lost in the mix due to our closeness.

But i still do feel deep inside that we have a strong magnetism for each other. I guess time off isn't such a bad thing--it will make me appreciate what we had, and get stuff done that has been waiting for me to tackle.

And like with Romy, me and nic have split twice before just to get together again...so who knows, at least i can go to sleep knowing someone out there still has fond memories of me and who i am

[vicman]

Yup, well I just got dumped last week! kinda sucked and felt like trash until Wednesday, but WTF!?!?

I'm oh this earth once and by golly,if some one cant keep up with me, well tuf luk! Back to renting videos I guess:D

Seriosly though, there are lots o' thngs that I miss in being in a relationship, but if it seems like "work" to keep being in it, then maybe its not a good idea to be in that relationship...for example, If you feel that you absolutely have to be talking with your significant other everyday and be doing stuff all the time with him/her, to mewhat that ends up doing is negating part of your own life.

My perspective is that just as work, where we have a social circle inthe office and a social circle outside of it, being in a relatioinship should not mean that you have to give up your own personal, professional interests for that one person, there has to be a gray area where you have to sacrifice some stuff in order to be with the other person, but like wise the other person has to sacrifice some stuff in order to be with you.

Oh well, its not a science, so there is no answer to this...I need to take a dump... :D

[gwyllion]

Everything takes time. In time, you will have gotten over your lost love, in time you will be more mature, in time you will find a mate who is more mature, etc... Things of this nature don't happen overnight - and don't expect them to.

You SHOULD be going out and having fun meeting people of all backgrounds and ideals. My ex and I of three years broke up about 7 mths. ago and I would like to think that I am pretty much over him. In that time I dated 8 or 9 guys. You shouldn't be forced to be serious with anyone until you can handle it. My new guy and I have our own schedules.. and we usually only hang out on weekends. Sometimes solo, and sometimes with his friends, sometimes with mine. This relationship is so much different because my ex and I smothered each other till we couldn't breathe. I LOVE my space, and I think when you are more mature, you will be able to have your own space and be trusting of your partner. Give it time, it WILL happen.

[georgym]

Originally posted by gwyllion

Everything takes time. In time, you will have gotten over your lost love, in time you will be more mature, in time you will find a mate who is more mature, etc... Things of this nature don't happen overnight - and don't expect them to.

This relationship is so much different because my ex and I smothered each other till we couldn't breathe. I LOVE my space, and I think when you are more mature, you will be able to have your own space and be trusting of your partner. Give it time, it WILL happen.

But gwyllion, even though you did smother each other, couldn't you guys still be meant to be? i mean, i don't want to sound like a dreamer. But maybe you guys did have something special (3 years isn't nothing) and just a lack of focus on both of you could have been the problem, not whether you 2 match or not?/?

It was easy for me and my ex to lose focus, and that's not good, but i know we still had something real good...

I just think deep down that if i give it time, we might get back together, after we gain focus. I just hope she won't forget me!

[gwyllion]

Ya know, GMC, that's such a sweet thought on your part, but it seems that your girl really wanted space - so first of all, you have to give that to her.

Time and space can change A LOT of things. My ex and I broke up for some undue circumstances, some of which I am happier for than others. I had a goal in mind about coming out East to live and he had lose ends to tie up back at home. We were too far away the last year of our relationship for me and him to really want to make it work. In the end, it was not worth it. I guess it was all the sacrificing that made me want to end it. We used to speak more frequently, but we don't anymore. To be honest, the distance really helped me get over him.

Yes, we did have something special, but now I am taking the things that I learned from him and passing them on to new people, friends and lovers alike... I will NEVER forget him, let that be known, because after all, I was in love with him. But now, I don't even know him.

Listen... the past is the past, the present is the present and the future is well... the future. Don't spend TOO much time thinking about your girl because you don't know how much time she's honestly investing in thinking about you. Give yourself plenty of time, but believe me honey, don't limit yourself to the wonderful people out there because there are PLENTY of fish in the sea for you.

[blowflyii]

we'll talk shop. cheer up pal we r all doin well

[georgym]

i feel a lot better, and am ready to let go and realize that if it was made to be , then me and N will meet up again sometime.

It's hard to accept this, but what the hell, i just need to refocus my life and think of things to do FOR myself.

It's never easy saying goodbye to someone, espec when there's no inherent problem with the chemistry. This time, the chemistry boiled over and i'm trying to clean up the mess. But in time, it will all be cleaned up, and i'll be ready to do some more mixing!!

(hopefully w/out the mess)

Sayonara,

~G

[glamourama]

In our society it is common belief that love is a great, wonderful experience where one feels "twitterpated" most of the time. While the good is part of love, that is not the entire picture. To me, love is ALL ENCOMPASSING; the good, the bad, the hot the cold, the boredom (yes, that too sometimes) etc.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I also believe that each person you're with you learn something about yourself from. You can take the experience, analyze it, focus on what was wrong and what you could have done better if you had the foresight. In these ways, you are fine-tuning yourself or perfecting yourself so when love comes knocking again (and it always does, sooner or later) you'll be that much better of a person for going through all the past pain.

[medows20]

Relationships can be good depending on what type of person your dating. I remember one guy I dated was the totally different from me. He liked to stay home, watch movies, drive around and sit on his computer all day and he would get mad at me when I was going out to concerts or to clubs. Then another guy I dated I had so much fun with, he was great, he came everywhere with me. We dated for 3 years until I lost him sept 11th

Im still getting over it, it's hard but I know how he was, very fun loving and outgoing and he would not have wanted to me sit and moap around. He always said if we lost eachother for any reason just to move on and cherish the moments we had together and go on with our lives....GET FUCKED UP!!! hahaha

but I do miss him.

If you find the right person it does not matter what age you are, you can defnitaly make a realtionship work