djmoonshine Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 how in the world do you make a long story short? *sigh* ok... here goes...went out with my bf for two years... broke up right before i came to school... up in school meet this awesome guy... most amazing personality ever, sweet, gentle, nice, caring.. etc. ~pretty much everything you'd want in a guy... ~mY pRobLem~ can't get myself to commit to him... we're trying to keep this a friendship, but only cause of me... it's like, it's so obvious to everyone around us that we like each other so much, not that it's not obvious to us, cause we discuss it like all the time... he wants to be with me and only me but at this point in time, i am having so much fun just being single... it's like i gave away two years of my life to this guy and now i'm in college, single doing what im supposed to be doing.so i've kissed two guys... one randomly at the bar this past weekend and one who's been a kind of ongoing thing... he knows about both guys and always feels so terrible and horrible about it... i feel really bad too, i just don't have it in me to commit right now... i can say i still feel like im on the rebound and jumping into a new relationship scares me, esp. with him, cause he's like my best friend. people have suggested that me and him hook up, but i refrain from doing that (although we have kissed, just not recently) because i know that if we do, feelings will def. get involved and we'd be together... i feel like it's easier for me to kiss other boys because if i never saw them again, it wouldn't affect me in the least... am i making any sense here?i'm freaking out about this cause today we had a talk and he brought up just maybe forgetting about the possibility of him and me together... i feel like if he were to start looking at other girls, he's the type to not look for a random thing, but find a girl that he could really see himself with and i'd lose him forever... :worry2:i feel like this is a no-win situation for me... either i let him go, or i just try and tie myself down to keep him, when in reality i just wanna have my cake and eat it too... def. going through this selfish phase... it sucks, but hey, i'm being honest... *mad at myself* i dont wanna be selfish... i wish i was just able to go, "yeah, go have fun, go hook up, i wont care" but i can't, and neither is he... sadly though, he's the one who has to deal with it...i mean he says he understands where im coming from, with me just getting out of a relationship and all and needing to just focus on me for now, but he also has his feelings to contend with...now ~ for those of you that stood with me and more importantly understood me till the end, i commend you... i am def. a little crazy, confusing, annoying, ALL OF THE ABOVE... now someone please help me now!!!!!ok wait... "my bf wants me to have a threesome, and i dont really wanna but since he wants to, i think im just gonna do it.... am i dumb?" ~~ hey, just trying to retain this new sex board flavor... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 sounds like a great guy, but he's not willing to wait around forever for you, which is exactly the right thing for him to do for both of youfrom my little bit of experience, i say go for it. the only things i ever look back and wonder about are relationship what-ifs. but then again, i had plenty of single time. but at least try, and if at worst it doesn't work out, you at least know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyskribz57 Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Well, yeah he does sound like a good one of us, but I don't think you are being very fair to him. It sounds like you wanna have the fun hooking up part and that's it. Which is fine, but if he wants like a full on relationship, and you can't give that to him now, then you have to tell him that. I think that you should tell him that you don't want to be tied down, you are having fun being single, and that he should be able to do the same....If he does happen to find someone that he gets deeply involved with, then it wasn't meant to be between you two, at least not at this point in time....But who knows what could happen later on in the future, at least for now, I think you should keep doing what you are doing, and let him do what he wants to do...Who knows? Later on down the road somewhere you both might find out that you want to be with eachother more than you think you did (if that makes any sense) and you will both get to be with eachother...Sorry this is confusing, but I hope I helped, gotta run to class....-Scotty- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clubkat Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 ya know the answer to this already, you just keep going round and round what u gotta do......But honestly, i dont know what your more afraid off; losing him as a friend who will always be by your side, or losing him as a potential lover ::with all that there is too a relationship:: ::soul searching time baby::And even if im 30000000 miles away, email's are 2 seconds away I LOVE U!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Originally posted by scottyskribz57 Well, yeah he does sound like a good one of us, but I don't think you are being very fair to him. It sounds like you wanna have the fun hooking up part and that's it. Which is fine, but if he wants like a full on relationship, and you can't give that to him now, then you have to tell him that. I think that you should tell him that you don't want to be tied down, you are having fun being single, and that he should be able to do the same....If he does happen to find someone that he gets deeply involved with, then it wasn't meant to be between you two, at least not at this point in time....But who knows what could happen later on in the future, at least for now, I think you should keep doing what you are doing, and let him do what he wants to do...Who knows? Later on down the road somewhere you both might find out that you want to be with eachother more than you think you did (if that makes any sense) and you will both get to be with eachother...Sorry this is confusing, but I hope I helped, gotta run to class....-Scotty- VERY Well put, Scotty! totally read this, djmoon It's funny, because your lil story sounds JUST LIKE mine about 2 months ago.Me and my ex broke up after one year together. And let me tell you, it was the toughest thing in the world.If you don't want to get serious, LET HIM KNOW NOW! My ex told me from the start she wanted to take things slow, but it ended up going way faster than we had planned. We started being great friends, just like u said, everyone seeing how great we get along. Then one night, we justconnected, and i must say it was the most special Relat. i've EVER been in BUt she wasn't ready for it, complaining about not getting work done in school and simply wanting to stay single to date guys.It's hard for me to swallow, now, and i'd recommend not getting involved just yet. You need some space now, and if he can''t accept that, tough.I know you guys are good friends, but he may want to hold up on that, just cause he shares deeper feelings for you. But like Scotty said, if it was meant to be, you guys may very well end up together again sometime in teh future Just keep in contact and see what happens. And please, don't break another of my dogs' hearts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Sounds like you found yourself in a big of a PICKLE. I would go for the nice guy, he sounds like a real winner, and those peeps you hooking up with are just peeps your hooking up with, do you think a relationship can from them? I dont know girls are better judge of Character! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Hun, I know exactly what your going through. I mean you want to have fun yet want to be slefish at the same time. I mean from the looks of it, you don't want a relationship, and then again you don't want to lose this guy. I mean this is a real tough one hun. Your young and you want to have fun. I mean it is selfich of you not wanting him to meet another girl, but you can't have him waiting forever to It wouldn't be fair to him. I hope that this helps to some degree. I'm sure things will work out in due time for the best. As for now just enjoy yourself, be happy, and live life... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belladiva26 Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 girl...........i was in a similar dilemma........broke up with my bf of 1 1/2 yrs, i was newly single and partying with guys like crazy. i loved being single and after about a month or two i met my now ex-bf. he was the greatest guy, went out of his way to do things for me, best personality, we totally clicked.......... but i wanted my freedom. after about a month or so, he truely prooved above and beyond how much he wanted me and i couldnt deny my feelings for him either. i sucked it up and got involved, and i couldnt have been happier, i fell completely in love................just a different perspective --- you may not want it, but you never know unless you try Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest xfactor834 Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Love you sweetie...I'll talk to you later about this =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nrgy112 Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 your in college, enjoy yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted December 4 Report Share Posted December 4 Relationships are strange. Not that the person you're involved with (or would be involved with) doesn't play a major role in your happiness- but what's so much more important is YOU and what you want. Timing is everything! Anyway to stop myself from babbling- What it comes down to is you being honest with yourself about what you want. If you're really not ready to be with someone that way- then you shouldn't be. It's just not fair to either of you. Well good luck girl, and if you ever want to talk you know where to find me!Luv ya sweetie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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