why do people play the "i can't call him/her yet" game?

[brooklynkid]

Originally posted by lavendermenace

I thought you were my new best friend when you told me there would be fruity candycanes, but now? you are stuck with my ass for LIFE!

translation:thanksformakingmelaughcausemydayhasbeenrealsucky

awww...thanks, lav! I'm nothing if not a provider of fruity candy *and* quality at-work entertainment

[elpapi]

Originally posted by lavendermenace

I thought you were my new best friend when you told me there would be fruity candycanes, but now? you are stuck with my ass for LIFE!

translation:thanksformakingmelaughcausemydayhasbeenrealsucky

:laugh:

[weyes]

tatiana22: i don't live in nyc, so that theory doesn't apply, but i do live in l.a., the land of "swingers"!

and "hi" right back at you, veranyc!

and barmenace, it's about time you two got together!

Originally posted by gwyllion

So, what's the report, WEYES? What have you decided to do???

i have to work till 11 tonight, but when we first met, he told me i could call him till 3 (that was just a random time, but his point was that i could call him as late as i want). hells yeah, when i get home, i'm gonna call him. besides, part of my point is that i wanna talk to him more and get to know him better before we do anymore of that sex stuff.

i'll keep you updated...

[saigray]

I was gonna sit this one out, cause I certainly don't have the answer on this one...confuses me everytime....but here's a little story I thought might relate:

I met a cool guy last night, chatted, had a drink and i gave him my email. Today I got the nicest, longest, friendliest email, with his #, invite to his friend's party, yadayada...

Did he come off as eager? YES

Did he take a risk and give me the upper hand? YES

DId he blow his game and drop his pokerface? YES

Did he give me something to smile about and make my day better? You betcha.

Will I call him? ABSAFUCKINLUTELY.

(though maybe I should wait a couple days, just to, ya know, let him know I'm money ;-)

Anyway that's not an answer and every situation's unique, but being money is overrated sometimes.

[Xpander]

Originally posted by saigray

I was gonna sit this one out, cause I certainly don't have the answer on this one...confuses me everytime....but here's a little story I thought might relate:

I met a cool guy last night, chatted, had a drink and i gave him my email. Today I got the nicest, longest, friendliest email, with his #, invite to his friend's party, yadayada...

Did he come off as eager? YES

Did he take a risk and give me the upper hand? YES

DId he blow his game and drop his pokerface? YES

Did he give me something to smile about and make my day better? You betcha.

Will I call him? ABSAFUCKINLUTELY.

(though maybe I should wait a couple days, just to, ya know, let him know I'm money ;-)

Anyway that's not an answer and every situation's unique, but being money is overrated sometimes.

Hey Sai, where's OUR date, HUH?!

To bring it back to the topic, sorta... In one of my classes, my prof. asked the class who should be the one initiating contact and whatnot in an amorous situation (sounds so dorky)...

Anyways, all the women said guys should do it (guys were half and half).

When she asked all the women in the class why the guy should do the initiating, she received almost the same answer from every one of the students of the female persuasion:

"Well, we don't wanna get turned down"

*SMACKS FOREHEAD*

[bunnyhogirl]

sometimes it;s n ice to wait a little... plus affter like 3 says its kind of a suprise when they call u and u r twice as happy

[karch]

Originally posted by xxsweetie

Oh yea... ya gotta love the good ol' three day rule I think its a stupid rule, but most guys i meet still manage to go by it. Now its beginning to be more like the 4-5 day rule.

haha.. I can't go for 4-5 days if I'm interested in the girl. It's too much. I think 3 is perfect.

You gotta play the games with girls. Or else they'll play you. I don't like it when girls say, "I want a nice guy" (Bulllshit!!) You play or get played. Damn... it's no longer a game now it's like a war. HAHAHAHA

[weyes]

Originally posted by karch

You gotta play the games with girls. Or else they'll play you. I don't like it when girls say, "I want a nice guy" (Bulllshit!!) You play or get played. Damn... it's no longer a game now it's like a war. HAHAHAHA

let me clarify why i'm obsessing over this one: it's because this guy is so nice that i don't wanna scare him away. he seems so unbelievable so far: clever, considerate, kind, fun, funny...

don't be bitter, guys, and think that we girls are full of shit when we say that we want a nice guy. we do, it's just that some of us can't find one easily and we settle.

[weyes]

update -

he just left my house after spending a good 2-2 1/2 hours here, and after a very frustrating visit where i just can't have sex with him yet (i still don't know him well enough, but we came mighty close), i told him that i didn't call him yesterday 'cause i didn't wanna freak him out. so why did i waste my time yesterday not calling him? sheesh. and now i think i freaked him out, anyway, too. grrrrrr. i hate this feeling that i have to second-guess what he's thinking and feeling all while trying to deal with my own issues. it's just a little too much to handle while you're becoming smitten with someone, when you lose your grip on logic anyway.

[karch]

Originally posted by weyes

don't be bitter, guys, and think that we girls are full of shit when we say that we want a nice guy. we do, it's just that some of us can't find one easily and we settle.

PLEEEEASE GIRLS ARE FULL OF SHIT when they say, "I want a nice guy" HAHAHA Once upon a time I was a nice guy to girls that I pursued and I got stepped all over. And all I hear is this shit, "I want a nice guy." Fuck that shit... Girls are the biggest liars. They say they want something but don't mean it. I'm amazed now how much of an ass I could be to a girl sometimes and they want you more and more. You play or get played. That's how it is. I learned the hard way.

[clubbingirl]

AHHHHHH, i hate that. i deleted a guys # on my cell, so that i would take longer for me to push in the buttons....and hopefully by then, i'd change my mind about calling. awwwwww:rolleyes:

[clubbingirl]

Originally posted by karch

You play or get played. That's how it is. I learned the hard way.

ahhhhhhhhh, i hear ya....i got stomped on also. the worst part was, I was ready to marry this kid. [He met some girl at sound factory, wtf and left me] Somehow, i still let this kid step all over me.

[weyes]

Originally posted by karch

PLEEEEASE GIRLS ARE FULL OF SHIT when they say, "I want a nice guy" HAHAHA Once upon a time I was a nice guy to girls that I pursued and I got stepped all over. And all I hear is this shit, "I want a nice guy." Fuck that shit... Girls are the biggest liars. They say they want something but don't mean it. I'm amazed now how much of an ass I could be to a girl sometimes and they want you more and more. You play or get played. That's how it is. I learned the hard way.

well, let me tell you more of the story, to prove that i mean it, at least.

i wasn't attracted to this guy at first when he asked me out, but he was so very nice and obviously liked me, so i figured i'd give him a chance, and if i still didn't feel a spark, i at least would have gained a friend (although most guys would drop a girl like a stinky diaper if she wouldn't have sex with him). it wasn't till our third date that i even saw him in that light at all. he turned out to be a really bad kisser, too, and that's all we did on our third date (are you still listening?), but i still decided to bear with him because he's a fucking gem and i haven't come across a nice guy in years; lots of people i know - very shallow people, i know - told me to drop him then because they said that that meant we didn't have good chemistry, but, see above: *** he's a fucking gem and i haven't come across a nice guy in years. so we're working on those details , and they're coming along quite nicely.

have faith, karch; the girls who only want the guys who mistreat them are immature, have issues to work through (which is fine for now - they'll get through them), and are not the ones you want to be with.

[glowgrlnyc]

Originally posted by weyes

the girls who only want the guys who mistreat them are immature, have issues to work through

...100% TRUE!!!

[Abstrakt]

Originally posted by karch

PLEEEEASE GIRLS ARE FULL OF SHIT when they say, "I want a nice guy" HAHAHA Once upon a time I was a nice guy to girls that I pursued and I got stepped all over. And all I hear is this shit, "I want a nice guy." Fuck that shit... Girls are the biggest liars. They say they want something but don't mean it. I'm amazed now how much of an ass I could be to a girl sometimes and they want you more and more. You play or get played. That's how it is. I learned the hard way.

Applaud this man!

[chynado11]

Originally posted by karch

PLEEEEASE GIRLS ARE FULL OF SHIT when they say, "I want a nice guy" HAHAHA Once upon a time I was a nice guy to girls that I pursued and I got stepped all over. And all I hear is this shit, "I want a nice guy." Fuck that shit... Girls are the biggest liars. They say they want something but don't mean it. I'm amazed now how much of an ass I could be to a girl sometimes and they want you more and more. You play or get played. That's how it is. I learned the hard way.

arent we feisty ...ur right in some ways..cuz girls do like a challenge just like a man does from a woman, what we shy away from is when the guy has no backbone and are being overly CLINGY AND DONT HAVE THEIR OWN OPINION..we want a man that is moderate and gives us space as well as treats us with respect, i feel sorry for the girls that you have met that allowed you to treat them like that and you still got in their pants..sorry you have such a negative view of women, maybe look somewhere else than where you are getting these naive girls...

I have been played before and have played...you grow up and get out of the stage and some never do...be careful which ones you pick out that havent matured

cd

[karch]

whew..... what an old thread... I had to re-read it over again...

1st..... what happened Weyes any luck?

2nd... I think I went off-topic in my comments, but still stand behind it:D

3rd... Thanks abstrakt

4th... I dunno about the girls I'm picking are immature and still don't know what they want. Maybe that's the case. I still think it's more of the case that people want what they can't have.

[blowflyii]

The real issue is the level of selfishness a person has. If its high you know the person is immature. There should be no games.

Weyes by telling him u were hoping not to freak him out you did the same thing as if you called him. I have faith you will shine. Do not be so so warry of your heart. I gues honesty is important though. Pretend like it hasnt been brought up and good luck.

[roha3000]

This is a great thread. I like to hear a nice mix of peoples honest opinions on this subject.

Personally, I am not about playing games with women anymore. I used to, but I found that the women who you have to play games with are usually not worth it. If you like someone and have a genuine interest in that person then there should be no reason to wait the "standard" three days to call them.

Could you be taken to be over-anxious or even desparate? Maybe, but at least that person knows you are sincere.

For me, the lasting relationships that I have had have been "game" free. I find that honesty works best.

[glowgrlnyc]

Originally posted by roha3000

This is a great thread. I like to hear a nice mix of peoples honest opinions on this subject.

Personally, I am not about playing games with women anymore. I used to, but I found that the women who you have to play games with are usually not worth it. If you like someone and have a genuine interest in that person then there should be no reason to wait the "standard" three days to call them.

Could you be taken to be over-anxious or even desparate? Maybe, but at least that person knows you are sincere.

For me, the lasting relationships that I have had have been "game" free. I find that honesty works best.

I agree with you 100% :)

[weyes]

thanks, everyone - i'm really glad that this thread has taken on a more positive tone; i think it's become an interesting and helpful discussion for everyone involved .

as far as the update goes (thanks for asking, karch), he and i had a really intimate night/morning on the 28th (i remember the date 'cause it was the night after my b'day) wherein he slept over (but we didn't have sex) and we were so locked into each other that he missed work intentionally and i was late. [i guess this may possibly turn it into another topic, but please let me try to keep it in the ballpark, here] we did have sex once before, just not this time, for the record, and here's why i bring that up: after the 28th, we didn't see each other again till the 6th nor talk much during that time, when we had gotten used to talking to/seeing each other much more often. it seemed to me that maybe that much non-sexual intimacy might've scared him.

now he always tells me to call him a certain day or time; he doesn't call me unless he's calling me back. and he says aloof shit like, "we'll make it happen," when i ask when he'd like to go out next. but when we're together, he gives me 100% and has a good time. we have fun and enjoy just being with each other. he even went with me to my company's boring holiday party, and that grants him some serious points.

so, we're beyond those first calls. the games should surely be up by now.

weyes -

[blowflyii]

i gues historically, it is safe to let the woman run what the speed is. Guys are pretty flexable.

[roha3000]

Originally posted by glowgrlnyc

I agree with you 100% :)

At least someone is on the same page.

[vampienyc10]

It's a no-win situtation..

the person calls too soon-"oh they're too nice, SEE YA" or "STALKER"

the person waits a couple of days - "he's a dick" or "she's conceited"

Go figure!

[weyes]

Originally posted by vampienyc10

It's a no-win situtation..

the person calls too soon-"oh they're too nice, SEE YA" or "STALKER"

the person waits a couple of days - "he's a dick" or "she's conceited"

Go figure!

exactly. right now i'm thinking, "he thinks i'm a stalker; what a conceited ass that he thinks i can't stand to be without him!"

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!