chynado11 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 I dont know if I believe in that, because sometimes when someone thats not good for you comes back into your life, ppl get confused with thats a sign , things will be fine...the question is when you meet someone and you feel uncertain how long do you let it go before you give them the ax and dismiss..or do you wait till something wrong happens first..do you go with gut instinct or just go into benefit of doubt?Im eager to know what your answers are on this oneCD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 toungh call....I know it's best to go with your initial gut instinct...but sometimes u may just have not given it enough time...unless there is a blatantly obvious reason to dismiss..I say ride it out...u never know what good things may come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by klohe toungh call....I know it's best to go with your initial gut instinct...but sometimes u may just have not given it enough time...unless there is a blatantly obvious reason to dismiss..I say ride it out...u never know what good things may come i wish i went with my instinct more, whenever i dont things get out of hand. i usually know pretty early on if something is going to work out or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by somebitch i wish i went with my instinct more, whenever i dont things get out of hand. i usually know pretty early on if something is going to work out or not. yeah im guilty of the above, i try to look for the good in ppl sometime, and it just doesnt cut it, but then sometimes getting hurt makes u become very defensive and then you sometimes miss out like klohe said..CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramadas Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 I will usually say go with gut instinct, but there are a couple of other factors. I mean, if you're not "feeling" the person, then there's no use prolonging the relationship, coz then you're just settling for someone. That almost always ends up with a relationship just slightly out of balance. However, if you've had a previous bad experience, and because of that you're super defensive then you might have to recognize that for what it is, and try overcome it. So, if you find yourself going through relationships really quickly (ie, "axing" a lot of ppl rapidly), then there might be a subconcious reason for that.Dunno if that makes sense at all, but those are my two pennies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycchic24 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 hmm interesting question. I guess i've gone both routes in past experiences... l if you go on gut instinct the only thing that you may face is not finding "closure" and then you will always have questions in your mind. (i guess thats back to Khloe's "give it more time") but if you wait for something to happen??? uh basically you are looking for drama or you are going create it. My last serious relationship, I was at this point and I decided to "wait for something to happen" basically i was chicken sh_t and i picked fights with him and acted like a spoiled brat and a bitch --- hoping that these immature acts would make him break up with me. Even after i did the worst act of them all (cheat) and confessed, he still wouldn't let go, and finally i had to end it for both of our sakes. So basically i should have acted on Instinct to begin with.... yeah i have no answer for ya. like everything it depends on the situation... sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 yeah this tends to make you think of why you let yourself get into certain situations...but i know theres more men out there that have an opinion or insight as well..since some say men use logic and reason when choosing a girl and girls use more emotions and feelings...anyone?CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xcracker Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Just for the record.. I got let go...and will never go back.. Life is not a fairy tale.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeygk Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 I tried to pretend everything was alright and held on. In the long run It made things worse and things ended badly. We could of ended up staying friends, but instead things went sour! The question is really about commucation......if you can just discuss things rationally you'd probably realize that both people are unhappy! Plus, the older I get the more important I realize it is to keep your life as simple and together as possible. Life's to short to be unhappy- If the relationship is right.......you'll know!*This is why I don't date.......well that and b/c my last girlfriend was crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobeton Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 I now go with my gut instinct. My problem in the past. always getting so caught up in the emotional and physical aspect; that I failed to see the obvious.. I don’t see any benefit in prolonging something; that does not feel right initially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by joeygk I tried to pretend everything was alright and held on. In the long run It made things worse and things ended badly. We could of ended up staying friends, but instead things went sour! The question is really about commucation......if you can just discuss things rationally you'd probably realize that both people are unhappy! Plus, the older I get the more important I realize it is to keep your life as simple and together as possible. Life's to short to be unhappy- If the relationship is right.......you'll know!*This is why I don't date.......well that and b/c my last girlfriend was crazy! so the benefit of doubt plays apart in alot of ppl, well thas coolbut guess what i think if you go back to a person that you see signs of the same stuff you already went through ..you are in idiot to put yourself out there again. thanks guys for your answersCD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by xcracker Life is not a fairy tale.. Very true.. but fairy tales aren't all they are cracked out to be.. and life is what you makes of it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by codica3 Very true.. but fairy tales aren't all they are cracked out to be.. and life is what you makes of it.. on point...its all about you play your cards and if you loose dont quit just do another round...CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Yeah. I totally dont believe that saying. I thought I loved someone, we broke up and he did wind up coming back to me, we got engaged and i broke it off.. That saying is NOT always true.. in my case Its never true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 shit just gets to complicated sometimes...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Like im saying. Friends with benefits is the way to go. You gotta do it right tho or you lose a friend. RULE 1. Never ever ever fall for that friends with benefits....!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycchic24 Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by bebby6919 Like im saying. Friends with benefits is the way to go. You gotta do it right tho or you lose a friend. RULE 1. Never ever ever fall for that friends with benefits....!!!!! very true but you know what i played that game (twice) and I stuck by the rules but both guys didn't! and they both said they wanted more (ie. relationship) and i was the sucker who fell for it! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 and never try to be a" friend with benefits " with someone that you used to like..because the feelings will come back and there is no reversal process with a lover than a friend...CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by chynado11 and never try to be a" friend with benefits " with someone that you used to like..because the feelings will come back and there is no reversal process with a lover than a friend...CD very true.. good point.. forgot about that one.. lol.. but i did become one with someone i used to like and they didnt come back. i was just happy we actually hooked up. I see things a lot different now than i used to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by chynado11 and never try to be a" friend with benefits " with someone that you used to like..because the feelings will come back and there is no reversal process with a lover than a friend...CD OK,, this may sound naive, but what exactly are the "benefits" in friends with benefits?/? Like where do you draw the line and tell how far to go?/? I mean, that would suck if u stayed "just friends" with someone purposely instead of trying out something that could be wonderful with that person~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vixenfoxxy Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Well you have to understand that something coming back isn't always good. Maybe that person is ready to commit to you but that's the worst thing you could do. Hell, ya throw a boomerang and it comes back, well it's great if you wanted it back but if you toss it and run and it whacks ya in the back of the head as you're fleeing well... clearly that's not beneficial And there u have it Chynadoll, Dr. Foxxy's metaphor of the day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by gmccookny OK,, this may sound naive, but what exactly are the "benefits" in friends with benefits?/? Like where do you draw the line and tell how far to go?/? I mean, that would suck if u stayed "just friends" with someone purposely instead of trying out something that could be wonderful with that person~ well its not naive, i guess the only benefit would be no commitment, no hurt, no strings attached...basically just a relationship for people that dont wanna get hurt and dont wanna settlei dont know how far it goes, it depends on the two people in it but for me that doesnt work alot of the times because the more you spend time with a person the more attached you get..regardless what ppl think, then you pretty have to give it the ax because its turning into a real relationsihp?? does that make sense LOL...life is unhealthy at times CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 Originally posted by chynado11 well its not naive, i guess the only benefit would be no commitment, no hurt, no strings attached...basically just a relationship for people that dont wanna get hurt and dont wanna settlei dont know how far it goes, it depends on the two people in it but for me that doesnt work alot of the times because the more you spend time with a person the more attached you get..regardless what ppl think, then you pretty have to give it the ax because its turning into a real relationsihp?? does that make sense LOL...life is unhealthy at times CD I hear ya there, chynado....I'm still getting over my last one, and it's SOO TOUGH, i just want to wait a little bit and not get too serious.I guess for me, I don;t need sexual intercourse RIGHT NOW , because there are SO MAAAANY other things 2 people can do without having sex (but don't get me wrong, NOTHING compares But I don't care about that right now...all i want is to meet some nice girls, let things happen naturally and TaKe My TiMe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted January 9 Report Share Posted January 9 OH, and to reply to your thread ...Its tough to answer. What you want may not be what the other wants. But if they really do love you, They'll listen to their instincts and come back, cause they'll know what they're missing.Otherwise, the road is long, but prospects are many...so don't let one person or thing get ya down --- Sometimes i wish we were all dogs n cats instead of men and women ~Keep goin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chynado11 Posted January 9 Author Report Share Posted January 9 you named great ways to be a healthier person by yourself...cuz if you take your time you never go wrong, also if you dont take care of yourself mentally, then why would you think someone else wants the job?CD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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