tastyt Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 As a follow-up question to one of Fiery's threads...How much control do you all think we really have over the way we feel? I mean, is it just the way we are and there's not much to do about it? Or do you think it's possible to learn how to change that- or would that simply be denial? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-side Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 It's always an issue of MIND over Matter?People loose control when they let it. People get depressed when they allow it.... (unless there is a chemical unbalance)."People get excited about nothing when they make an association to what they desire" B~"Serving ALL of your PsychoSexual needs since 1980" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 12 Author Report Share Posted January 12 But I wonder??? I mean for myself it usually feels like denial- because I've been in situations where I tried to control the way I felt, or at least not think about it... and when I thought things were under control... suddenly, BAM!, I realized I still felt the exact same way.Or maybe I just need more practice???Hmm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 i seriously lack control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-side Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Meditate one a day a week for at least 1 full hour.During that time try to control as much as you can.... while sitting still without moving or saying a word.Trust me you will learn a LOT about self-control Hope This Helps,>>>>>> Peace,DOC~B"Tending to ALL of your PsychoSexual needs since 1980" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Originally posted by tastyt But I wonder??? I mean for myself it usually feels like denial- because I've been in situations where I tried to control the way I felt, or at least not think about it... and when I thought things were under control... suddenly, BAM!, I realized I still felt the exact same way.Or maybe I just need more practice???Hmm. i totally agree with u!! i cannot in any way control my emotions...i can simply control the way i chose to portray my feelings...i am usually not one to show the extent of how much i am hurting..and try to pretend that things are fine...but in reality i am falling apart. sometimes i spend so much time thinking about how i am "not supposed to be upset" and trying to act like i am not...that it is almost like i convince myself that i am ok! is this making any sense?!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 12 Author Report Share Posted January 12 Yeah, I hear ya Misk.I also wonder how much we should try to control our emotions? Should we just let go (well, within reason) and experience the highs and lows as they come? By trying to filter our experiences through a screen of logic, are we robbing ourselves of some essential part of human existance? Or are these emotions getting in the way of our higher purposes? Should we, like B suggested, devote ourselves to learning more about self-control so we can pursue more "worthy" aspects of ourselves, such as our spiritual or intellectual self?(Wow I didn't intend to get so deep on a sex board topic... !) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeprock Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 It's part psychological and part brain chemistry. Many studies have been done showing a correlation in how some emotional disorders (i.e., disthymia, unipolar, and bipolar depression) run in families. Excessive serotonin (or a lack thereof) is often implicated in many mood disorders. Similarly, brain chemistry is implicated in impulsive disorders. Studies (although not entirely conclusive) show a link between aggressive personailities that act impulsively and zinc deficiencies. People like this are also believed to also have hyperactivity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. Emotion is the most primitive brain function. It's been shown that the amygdala plays the biggest role in influencing emotion. So it's not just mind over matter, it's a combination of both, but likely more brain chemistry than psychology. There was a study called the Minnesota Twins Study. I won't get into the methodology, but you can look it up on Google. The researchers there concluded that personality is about 70% genetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Originally posted by tastyt Yeah, I hear ya Misk.I also wonder how much we should try to control our emotions? Should we just let go (well, within reason) and experience the highs and lows as they come? By trying to filter our experiences through a screen of logic, are we robbing ourselves of some essential part of human existance? Or are these emotions getting in the way of our higher purposes? Should we, like B suggested, devote ourselves to learning more about self-control so we can pursue more "worthy" aspects of ourselves, such as our spiritual or intellectual self?(Wow I didn't intend to get so deep on a sex board topic... !) . . . . There was a darker part of my life when I pondered these things on a constant basis . . . From the pain I was able to divide my perception into two distinct parts (NO I am not insane . . ) . . . The actor and the observer. . .The actor is our left brains trying to articulate what we see into actions and words The observer is the right brain . . the emotion, the pattern side of our brains that cries the intangible from our subconsciousness . . It is the basis . . the hammer and forge . . that shapes the pattern that is your personality . . . The actor is there to help others understand what the observer is feeling and thinking . . as well as help ourselves attain some kind of catharsis in the events that come our way .. . .. . The observer feels, while the actor conveys . . . When these two, the actor and the observer merge into one and work in synch, clarity can be attained . . . . . other times confusion results . . NOT because of our emotions, but because of our inability to articulate to ourselves why we are feeling said emotions . . We've built such a world around words .. discreet units that can only shed a glimpse into the true complexity that goes into the human personality and intellect. . that we lose the ability to understand the abstract within ourselves, and , in turn , get lost in our own emotions . . . Restraint will allow you to withold the feeling from others, but make no mistake, inside you will still be lost . . . Only later, when the bodily effect of emotion subsides can one have both sides converge and attain clarity . . Bodily effect . . disgust, anger, lust, elation . . all the extremes . . . are triggered both by the observers in us AND automatic instinct . . . The problem arises when the actor tries to articulate the feeling of instinct into action . . If the observer doesn't agree with the instinctive response, the outcome will be misrepresented or awkwardly conveyed by the actor . . This, in turn, will cause another reaction and another botched response . . and so on . . until a person is overcome with emotion . . . So how do we control this outpouring of emotion as to not end up lost? . . . Well . . the first thing to do . . is to come to terms with the depths of your own soul . . . This is not a game where one can just come to the prize after a certain set of challenges. . It's an ongoing game that needs to be constantly worked at by the discipline of the mind . . . every event that you react to is an indication of how YOU as a person perceive the outside world. . . When you run . . you run for a reason . . when you fight . . you fight for a reason . . There is no gray area in this matter. . there is ALWAYS a reason . . The task is finding said reason, so that next time you engage in a similar event, you'll know how to react and what to expect . . . Also, this reason is NOT just the logical one in the world you observe (. . get out of the bus'es path, or you're gonna get hit by it. .) . . it also has to do with your subconscious (the observer) which combines with your intellect (the actor) to form your soul . . Personally I don't believe that our emotions interfere with our higher purpose . . It's the body's job to do that . . . . Think about it for a minute . . . MOST of the shit we go through in our daily lives is either caused by or associated with our bodies . . That chemical reaction in your body and brain is what causes you to "feel" the emotion . . If we had no bodies. . If we were free intellects that needed nothing physical, then emotion and logic would always be in harmony. . fused into one, forming the soul. . never wavering when a new event showed itself . . . . . no feeding, no fucking, no drugs, no drink, no death . . . just the beautiful landscape of the soul . . pure unadulterated energy . . . That, I believe, is our destiny . . .-Phuturephunk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 I never expose my emotions on the surface unless I really don't care about letting someone see if I'm upset or really angry. I can look perfectly calm while there's a sea of rage going around inside me...I can act totally nonchalant around the guy I'm madly in love with....and I can talk for hours with a random person and I can walk away and they will get the sense that they don't know me at all....I don't like letting all that being released...unless it's someone I trust a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Originally posted by tastyt As a follow-up question to one of Fiery's threads...How much control do you all think we really have over the way we feel? I mean, is it just the way we are and there's not much to do about it? Or do you think it's possible to learn how to change that- or would that simply be denial? to get nowhere near how detailed Phuturephunk was...... Emotions are generally the manifest of your immediate reaction to something that just happened. Considering that there's literally ALWAYS something happening, we've always some sort of a mood to indicate/gauge our general reaction to our environment. Our emotions isn't what usually causes what's usually understood as "emotional problems"But see, the magnitude of our emotions and the degree to which it governs our actions is how those "problems" often arise.Our emotion controls our behavior. When it flares up, our judgements tends to becomes more focused on one or two things, which in turn makes us lose sight on many important things which we then ignore because of our emotional flare up (IE, revenge, releasing tensions, screaming at your EX, etc). And when emotion's going full blown, it's going to stop slowly and gradually, or something else has to step in and slow it down or something can get in the way and stop it cold.However, each method of dealing comes with consequences and though it's usually better to let it cool slowly, sometimes situations demand a faster solution.Let me use a metaphor here........There's an infinitely flat plain out somewhere, and there're train rails running across...... (the train tracks are your emotional stability)Suddenly, this big ass runaway train comes along, going 300 mph and blowing everything else by. (an emotion of yours flaring up and running amok)Three ways to go......Either you let it run its course and let friction and air slow it down....the train is fine....(takes time, sometimes a LONG TIME, time that you don't have)Or, try to thrown on some breaks, which'll screw up the gears a bit...(rein the emotions down, distract yourself....but often, it's just being put aside and the conflict that caused it isn't being resolved totally)Or, put a 50 feet thick titanium wall in front of it....wrecking the train.....(it takes alot for flaring emotions to just stop dead cold at its peak...for instance, something else that would cause your emotions to flare up in some other way, which would generally be a damaging strain on your mind)Just an example........ Sadly, as with many things in life, it's only when our emotions becomes extreme do we actually take note of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randall16 Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Originally posted by misk i totally agree with u!! i cannot in any way control my emotions...i can simply control the way i chose to portray my feelings...i am usually not one to show the extent of how much i am hurting..and try to pretend that things are fine...but in reality i am falling apart. sometimes i spend so much time thinking about how i am "not supposed to be upset" and trying to act like i am not...that it is almost like i convince myself that i am ok! is this making any sense?!! I cannot agree anymore with you....i 99.99% of the time am convincing myself that what i am feeling is ok and then when things are not ok i sit and try to make sence of what i am not ok with ......now does that make any sence.....emotions are such a fuked up thing.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Originally posted by tastyt As a follow-up question to one of Fiery's threads...How much control do you all think we really have over the way we feel? I mean, is it just the way we are and there's not much to do about it? Or do you think it's possible to learn how to change that- or would that simply be denial? i cant control my feelings for shit... however i can seperate myself from them... that seems to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roha3000 Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 PhuturePhunk - Did you get that post out of some text book?? If not I think maybe you should write your own. Very deep bro.Xpander - You sound very much like a psych major. Your answer does make perfect sense.Personally, I have never taken a psych course and have no concrete scientific knowledge of emotions and brain chemistry and all of that fun stuff. However, in my experience, I do believe that in normal cases, (when there is no external chemical influence), I am usually able to control, or at the very least, limit my negative emotional reactions to stimulus. How exactly do I do this? Well, I am usually a pretty busy person. I do not really have time to dwell on any one thing and allow it to become my entire focus. As dgmodel said, I try to separate myself from the emotion so as not to allow these negative feelings to get me down. Sometimes emotions can be so strong that this can be difficult, but with time it becomes possible.Tasty - I wouldn't think of this as denial. Think of it as doing what is necessary to maintain a healthy emotional state. You can confront personal issues without allowing your feelings to become exaggerated by emotion.BTW - This is a pretty deep topic for CP. I am still recovering from last night and this thread has helped to reactivate some of the brain cells that were badly impaired last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entao25 Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 My emotions control me...Well at first it's up to you to think of it, to even put it out there, whatever the idea is, like that you like someone. But after awhile It gets ahold of YOU, and there's no stopping it then. It's too late, you just have to see what happens and let the chips fall where they may.Once I wrote to myself a note, and I should have read it every day so I wouldn't forget...it was about a guy who had a girlfriend, let's call him, Darren, so the note said, "You're not GETTING Darren so DON'T start Loving him."By the time I found the note again it was too late. I still love the guy now. It got ahold of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.