fierydesire Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by tastyt See, that's the major problem I have w/the theory... Just because you change (usually) doesn't mean the other person will want you any more... I'd say usually if anything needs to change it would be the other person... and if they don't want you obviously that isn't going to happen! exactly...but why must the other person change...why should anyone 'really' have to change? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . . a change in lifestyle is part of it, at least in my case . . . Compromise is a better way to describe it indeed, however compromise denotes that you're willing to change the course that you had originally planned in order to reach a specific goal . . . . . . Why must you change to attain happiness and goals? . . . Well, all I can say is I've never met a person that has attained their happines while at the same time remaining static . . . just doesn't happen . . . Even if you don't realize it, when you're working towards what you want, you're changing yourself in the process . . . I suppose, so change is inevitable is what your saying. I agree with that.Tasty I got it know.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by fierydesire exactly...but why must the other person change...why should anyone 'really' have to change? I'm not saying the person "should" necessarily change... just that is the only way things would work out... so maybe things aren't really meant to work out.Does that make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by fierydesire I suppose, so change is inevitable is what your saying. I agree with that.Tasty I got it know.. . . yep .. . inevitability . . . aint it grand . . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magilicuti Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 if its not a challenge to get then you think something is wrong. atleast that is how i look at it. that is why some ppl play hard to get i guess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by lavendermenace because life is pain.anyone who tells you otherwise is either stupid or delusional. So buddhist oriented...Nutthing to do with the buddha then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by tastyt I'm not saying the person "should" necessarily change... just that is the only way things would work out... so maybe things aren't really meant to work out.Does that make sense? I think that the issue here is that everyone changes everyone else around them...So in the end, when you're with someone, that person is bound to change you in some way or another.Also, I notice that something that's been address is the fact that people look for a perfect match. (strongest example, people who has a checklist for the "features" they want in a partner.Let me say now that that doesn't exist, IMO.Existence is utterly dynamic in its progression. So in that way, everyone changes every moment of their lives.Look for one that makes you happy. Not someone who you think should make you happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by tastyt I'm not saying the person "should" necessarily change... just that is the only way things would work out... so maybe things aren't really meant to work out.Does that make sense? . . . That is exactly what I meant in my first post . . . you hit it right on the head . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by magilicuti if its not a challenge to get then you think something is wrong. atleast that is how i look at it. that is why some ppl play hard to get i guess From that perspective... you could say another reason people want what they can't have is because of low self-esteem. Because if you don't feel good about yourself, you assume that there must be wrong with someone who actually thinks you're worthwhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . That is exactly what I meant in my first post . . . you hit it right on the head . . . *rereads first post* Ah-ha! I see it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by xpander Look for one that makes you happy. Not someone who you think should make you happy. Exactly...yeah it makes sense tasty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by tastyt From that perspective... you could say another reason people want what they can't have is because of low self-esteem. Because if you don't feel good about yourself, you assume that there must be wrong with someone who actually thinks you're worthwhile. . . . I can't tell you how many times I've felt that . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Because life is a big, fat bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magilicuti Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by tastyt From that perspective... you could say another reason people want what they can't have is because of low self-esteem. Because if you don't feel good about yourself, you assume that there must be wrong with someone who actually thinks you're worthwhile. hmmm, i never thought of it like that. good point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycchic24 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by xpander Look for one that makes you happy. Not someone who you think should make you happy. :givesstandingovation: couldn't have said it better myself. when my friends ask why do you like "so and so".. bc he makes me Smile! and that truly is a gift right there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted January 29 Author Report Share Posted January 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by snoozi8 I've always wondered why I tend to go for the guys who don't treat me as well or who I feel like I'm "chasing" yuck no more too many good catches out there I agree.. it sux.. not worth my time anymore.. Im too young for that stuf LOVE = :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loch Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by xpander Look for one that makes you happy. Not someone who you think should make you happy. i'll do you one better; i've mentioned this before but i'll say it again:look to *NO* one to make you happy. even if you THINK he/she makes you happy, he/she offers you no permanence.whatever happiness you may feel is only a transient state of being; it is afleeting, and it is most definitely inevitable.find your own happiness. that is, look not to others but within yourself. i have spoken. let that be the law of the land. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tilly Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by loch i'll do you one better; i've mentioned this before but i'll say it again:look to *NO* one to make you happy. even if you THINK he/she makes you happy, he/she offers you no permanence.whatever happiness you may feel is only a transient state of being; it is afleeting, and it is most definitely inevitable.find your own happiness. that is, look not to others but within yourself. i have spoken. let that be the law of the land. amen brotha!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennEfer Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 In terms of relationships.... I am very happy with where I am, and intend to be with my boyfriend for the rest of my life. He is my other half. I'm not trying to make people sick with my mushyness... but there is someone out there for everyone, and maybe there is a reason that the one you desire is out of reach. If you are supposed to be with this other person I am sure it will work itself out. Just my blind optimisim I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted January 30 Author Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by loch i'll do you one better; i've mentioned this before but i'll say it again:look to *NO* one to make you happy. even if you THINK he/she makes you happy, he/she offers you no permanence.whatever happiness you may feel is only a transient state of being; it is afleeting, and it is most definitely inevitable.find your own happiness. that is, look not to others but within yourself. i have spoken. let that be the law of the land. or maybe just avoid happiness altogther as well and just be... considering happiness is only a relative state defined by that which does not make us happy, ie the bad...*love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage this i tell you brother, ya can't have one w/o the OTHER* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by jennEfer In terms of relationships.... I am very happy with where I am, and intend to be with my boyfriend for the rest of my life. He is my other half. I'm not trying to make people sick with my mushyness... but there is someone out there for everyone, and maybe there is a reason that the one you desire is out of reach. If you are supposed to be with this other person I am sure it will work itself out. Just my blind optimisim I guess. Yeah yeah...rub it in our faces... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennEfer Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by xpander Yeah yeah...rub it in our faces... I'm sorry... just expressing my opinion.... i knew it would sound mushy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by loch i'll do you one better; i've mentioned this before but i'll say it again:look to *NO* one to make you happy. even if you THINK he/she makes you happy, he/she offers you no permanence.whatever happiness you may feel is only a transient state of being; it is afleeting, and it is most definitely inevitable.find your own happiness. that is, look not to others but within yourself. i have spoken. let that be the law of the land. Happy within one's self doesn't not guarantee permanence...Happiness is inevitable, as are other states of being...As happiness brought by others may fade with time, as can the happiness brought on by self actualization... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xpander Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by jennEfer I'm sorry... just expressing my opinion.... i knew it would sound mushy. just kidding...talk about a wrong time for someone to take you seriously... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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