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mjp22

Why can't you ever forget?

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Ok can someone explain to me why I'm still miserable bout my ex fiance who I havent been with in over a year and who I have not even spoken to since Sept. I wake up almost every day wondering if maybe I should just call her to see if she is ok or what she is up to. I hear someone saw her and it bothers me its kind of crazy I know but why cant we just let things go? Any advice would be appreciated. I am dating someone now but dont think it will last much longer since she keeps mentioning commitment etc.

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wish i could help you out..

all i can say is that i totally understand what you mean and i think everyone has a person/people they cant let go of.

maybe you should call her and see how shes doing. since she was your fiance at some point, of course, you will always have love for her. it is possible that the reason it bothers you when she is mentioned is because you have no contact with her...

i dunno, i think its weird to spend years with someone and then break things off like they never existed.

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I want to call but I dont cause if I call and she is a total bitch I'll be pissed beyond belief. I am probably better off not calling and hopefully just bumping into her in a bar or something but I can not understand that why after a year she is still on my mind.

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sorry hun.........i know exactly what your going through (just he wasnt my fiance) :(

i couldnt stop thinking about my ex for the longest time, had all the same thoughts as you did...

did she break it off with you? or the other way around?? not saying it has anything to do with it, but in my own experiences i've noticed that i didnt care about my first ex who i broke up with as much as my next ex which he broke it off with me...

i hate to sound so cliche,.....but time does heal ALL wounds ;)

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She broke up with me then we spoke for a few months then she decided we should not talk anymore. Lots of bs went on and to be honest she wasnt to nice after we broke up yet it still kills me not talking to her or seeing her. Figure that out LOL

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Originally posted by mjp22

I want to call but I dont cause if I call and she is a total bitch I'll be pissed beyond belief. I am probably better off not calling and hopefully just bumping into her in a bar or something but I can not understand that why after a year she is still on my mind.

hopefully she doesnt have a reason to be a bitch to you, especially after a year of no contact with her.

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It's very hard to forget about someone who means/meant so much. For all the good, bad, and ugly, and beautiful, part of your heart will always belong to that person/people.... Once you give someone a piece or all of your heart, it's theirs forever. If they choose to abuse than you are better off, regardless of all feelings.

I completely understand where you are coming from. You could always just leave a message when you know she's not home or when her cell is of, and just say something like I hope you are doing well and things are working out the way you want...blah, blah, blah. Short sweet and to the point. DON"t tell her you want her to call yu back, just end with a simple goodbye.

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I'm goin thru similar thing.

Me and my girl broke up about a month ago.

and we havent talked after that, and lately its been on my mind

how she's doin, is she ok, is she happy stuff like that. and its making me really upset:(

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Originally posted by mjp22

Ok can someone explain to me why I'm still miserable bout my ex fiance who I havent been with in over a year and who I have not even spoken to since Sept. I wake up almost every day wondering if maybe I should just call her to see if she is ok or what she is up to. I hear someone saw her and it bothers me its kind of crazy I know but why cant we just let things go? Any advice would be appreciated. I am dating someone now but dont think it will last much longer since she keeps mentioning commitment etc.

hey babes...Mike hun..don't call. I know it hurts and all..but step forward. are you afraid to get into a commitment with the new chica? Just move on sweets..and everything will fall into place..maybe not soon but it will occur..JUST BE HAPPY!!!!

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Originally posted by mjp22

She broke up with me then we spoke for a few months then she decided we should not talk anymore. Lots of bs went on and to be honest she wasnt to nice after we broke up yet it still kills me not talking to her or seeing her. Figure that out LOL

of course i dont know exact details of your break-up.....but just from hearing that she wasnt nice after you guys broke up would tell me enough to MOVE ON!!!!!!!

i dwelled on someone for way too long after we broke up and it was a complete waste of time. but you cant help it sometimes, feelings just get in the way. :( very understandable

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I think I am afraid of commitment, guess I'm scared to trust of give my heart up. Z I'm not gonna call as much as it sux not to. I do hope I bump into to her one night or something maybe then it will be less odd. I guess I'm just another lost sole LOL but thanks everyone for the advice and for caring..

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Originally posted by SPYGIRL2

It's very hard to forget about someone who means/meant so much. For all the good, bad, and ugly, and beautiful, part of your heart will always belong to that person/people.... Once you give someone a piece or all of your heart, it's theirs forever. If they choose to abuse than you are better off, regardless of all feelings.

Very well said! But there's one thing that you forgot....it's that lil' issue called CLOSURE. It's needed in all cirucumstances. If you call something off, you can't just bury it until both parties are ready. Although your ex may be ready to move on, it's clear your not. As much as I agree with Fiery about not calling, sometimes it's just necessary. It's like when you're reading a book, and your not quite finished a chapter and skip to the next. You'll be lost in the next few chapters, and your more than likely to go back and re-red what you missed.

...Better to call now and start the healing process earlier, then fall into the ditch a couple of weeks down the road.

Marci Darci speaks from experience.

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Well I'm going to try to hold out and not call sure sooner later I'll bump into her. If I call the house her mother will bitch if I call the job she can always say she is busy or something and that will aggravaite me. I think the best bet is go about things and maybe I'll bump into her somewhere and I'll just be a gentleman and see how she reacts..

Thanks again everyone for being supportive and for some good advice. Its always good to get different opinions etc and everyone of you helped a little thank you.

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Originally posted by marcid21

Very well said! But there's one thing that you forgot....it's that lil' issue called CLOSURE. It's needed in all cirucumstances. If you call something off, you can't just bury it until both parties are ready. Although your ex may be ready to move on, it's clear your not.

...Better to call now and start the healing process earlier, then fall into the ditch a couple of weeks down the road.

Take the smart women's advice:D

Thank You....Life teaches us some funny lessons....;)

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Closure is good!

and waiting to bump into her is kinda lame i think...i mean u'r not gonna have a meaningful convo with her in a bar. And what if she walks in with her new boyfriend?

i broke up with my fiance 4 or 5 years ago. We were able to start communicating again and stuff when she got into a new serious relationship with someone else. Kinda took the whole her and me thing off the table. Now we're best friends. I think every situation is different of course, but just letting chance decide seems like a bad idea to me.

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Your right it is kind of lame to wait to bump into her but I dont want to call either I figure whatever happens happens and if she is with a new bf they I have to make a choice, either be an adult or start a war. I plan on being the adult and showing some class. I dont know but whatever happens I'll keep you all updated and thanks again

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Originally posted by mjp22

Ok can someone explain to me why I'm still miserable bout my ex fiance who I havent been with in over a year and who I have not even spoken to since Sept. I wake up almost every day wondering if maybe I should just call her to see if she is ok or what she is up to. I hear someone saw her and it bothers me its kind of crazy I know but why cant we just let things go? Any advice would be appreciated. I am dating someone now but dont think it will last much longer since she keeps mentioning commitment etc.

every minute with out her seems like a day, everyday seems like a year, every year seems like an eternity... i can relate... however like i've said before... You dont ever stop loving someone... you just learn to live with out them...

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I think that what you miss really is the feelings you had when she was with you and times were good. I guarantee that as soon as you find someone to fill that part of your heart again... It won't hurt anymore. You will always remember her, and the times you shared. But sometimes sadly love fades. And it's not healthy to focus your love on someone who desnt feel the same way towards you. I recently broke up with my ex of 1 yr... Not a very long time compared to many other's relationship... but it was a year of my life... It's hard without him, only because a) I was used to having him in my life. B) I'm not used to guys not wanting me. I think about him lots, I mean it's only been a month since we broke up. But the fact that he hasn't thrown himself at my feet begging for another chance, just throws me through a loop. I know that by him not doin that makes me miss him/ or our past relationship more. If he would call me, doin this... I would laugh in his face, blatently call him a sucker, and step on his heart 10 times more then he stepped on mine.. And that would be the end of that chapter....pfft... But just think, if SHE called YOU, to see how YOU were doin, wanting to catch up. You may be able to put her out of your mind. Knowing that you still mean that much to her. But this apparently isn't what you think will happen cause she's a Bitch... Then I don't think she deserves the satisfaction and closure of YOU calling HER... Try to move on... I know it's hard... trust me I do... But it is possible... MUAH...

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