cazz926

Can you please add me to your forwarding email list? el-oh-el

So, you're finally gonna check out some GOOD music at Body & SOUL tomorrow? Is this for real?

OMG!!! You are finally goin to check out some music?

Only if I get to wear a sandwich board.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOB OFFER TO ME!!!

Please tell me that was a real chat room conversation.

I can do lots of stuff, have a lot of experience, and I'm a real hoot to have around the office. I welcome sexual harrassment only if I get to do it back.

Hey kingchango...you hiring?

If you are kidding, then I am peeing my pants. If you are not kidding, then I will pee on your face.

CLASSIC!!!!!!

Hey, while you were looking for the toy, did you ask all the salespeople where the slide was? Or did you try to slide down down the escalator with body glitter on? Anyway, the NYU dorms are kicking me off the sidewalk, so I'm now going to Save the Robots.

I'm actually outside Palladium/NYU dorms screaming "JUNIOR". Arena will re-open any day now, right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!

Courtesy of www.modernhumorist.com (one of the funniest sites on the net) The Madonna Fan’s Dream Set List 1. Vogue 2. Like a Virgin 3. Like a Prayer 4. Express Yourself 5. Into the Groove 6. Material Girl 7. Open Your Heart 8. Cherish 9. True Blue 10. Beautiful Stranger 11. Ray of Light 12. Borderline 13. Papa Don’t Preach 14. Justify My Love The Madonna Tour’s Actual Set List 1-17. Shit from recent albums 18. This Used to Be My Playground 19. Where’s the Party (acoustic) 20-33. Highlights from The Next Best Thing soundtrack 34. Don’t Cry for Me Argentina 35. Memory 36. Escape (The Piña Colada Song) 37. Waltzing Matilda 38. Theme from Bridge on the River Kwai (dance remix) 39. University of Michigan Fight Song 40. Shanti/Ashtangi (encore) Culture/Fashion/Fetish Combinations to Anticipate • Scottish kilt worn with knee-high, lace-up leather boots • Lasso bondage imagery • 17,000-person game of Truth or Dare • Leopard-fur thongs on live cheetahs • Japanese anime sumo threesomes • Classic Dick Tracy villains in Les Liasons Dangereuse garb simulating auto-erotic asphyxiation -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Safety Tips: Do: Praise Madonna Imitate Madonna Feel Madonna’s aura Do not: Look directly at Madonna Mimic Madonna Undermine Madonna’s commanding presence with mindless chatter Do: Compare Madonna the entertainer to Madonna the Holy Mother Do not: Compare Guy Ritchie the film director to Guy Smiley the Sesame Street game show host Do: Make sly references to Madonna’s "Two Smoking Barrels" Do not: Say anything crude about her jugs Do: Say that Guy Ritchie is a "hottie" Do not: Say that Snatch substitutes an incredible volume of profanity for any semblance of character development. Not that British people swearing isn’t a hoot. Do: Request "Material Girl" Do not: Request updated version of "Papa Don’t Preach" exploring moral ambiguities of embryonic stem cell research Do: Wear shimmering silver clothes. Do not: Attempt to disguise yourself if your name is "Weird Al" Yankovic. You are not welcome. Do: Consider being rained on by Madonna’s saliva as a blessing from on high Do not: Take the sample to a DNA cloning laboratory and attempt to create a new Madonna Do: Marvel at Madonna’s seemingly endless series of reinventions Do not: Mention the accent Do: Proceed to exits in orderly fashion in case of fire Do not: Worry about trampling "Weird Al" Yankovic Do: Ask an usher to direct you to your seat if you have trouble locating your section Do not: Expect special treatment just because you’re Sean Penn Do: Express the hope that Madonna will never stop recording new music Do not: Forget that there may come a time when she must leave this earthly sphere and be replaced with an army of licensed clones -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Map of Typical Drowned World Tour Venue 1. Madonna 2. Guy Ritchie and kids 3. Orthodontist 4. Dancers 5. Security guards 6. Madonna’s dressing room 7. Mobile hair-dying facility 8. Teenage girls 9. Women in their twenties who dusted off their pointy leather bras for the occasion 10. Gentlemen who like gentlemen 11. AOL contest winners 12. Sean Penn 13. Yankovic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Words Madonna Might Have Across the Front of Her Shirt • Britney • Snatch • Chest • Breasts • Oprah • Regis • Haley Joel • Condit • Campaign Finance Reform • Toronto Raptors • Abercrombie & Fitch • Dude, Where’s My Car? (wrap party commemorative tee) • I Survived the Scream Machine at Six Flags Great Adventure • Winston, Miller Lite, Castrol, Tide and Hardee’s (Talladega SuperSpeedway show) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Celebrity List Section from "Vogue" Updated for Contemporary Audiences Edward Norton, Lucy Liu Kirsten Dunst and Carey, Drew. Matthew Perry, Jenna Bush J. Lo and her ample tush. Ray Romano, Zeta-Jones. Ew! Calista’s pointy bones. Haley Joel and Nathan Lane, Robert Downey does cocaine. Martha Stewart bakes a cake, Spears and Justin Timberlake. They had style, they had grace, To us belong all your base —"Weird Al" Yankovic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Transcripts of Between-Song Banter Prepared Especially for This Tour by the Sensational British Director Guy Ritchie After "Like A Virgin" GUITARIST What the fuck do you mean you feel like a virgin? Everyone knows you’re a mum. That you got two bloody kids. You’re not foolin’ anyone. MADONNA Look mate, that’s not the fucking point of the song. The song is about how the man is so sensitive and gentle that he makes me feel like a virgin. You know, like the first time. GUITARIST I don’t give a shit how bloody sensitive he is. He could be Don Juan de Cassa-fucking-nova. All I’m saying is, you can’t feel like you’ve never got your Red Baron popped when everybody knows you got two tykes in the next room wanking off to fucking Oscar the Grouch. After "Vogue" MADONNA Hey band, could you pick it up a bit? We did that last song like a turtle with a fucking limp. GUITARIST It’s not my fault, me guitar went out of tune. MADONNA Your guitar could be playing in the fucking key of J for all I care, just play faster. GUITARIST Song’s a piece of shit anyway. Seriously, who writes a whole song about a bloody magazine? After "Secret" BASSIST So wha’s the bloody secret then? MADONNA You think I’m going to tell you? BASSIST Come on M’donna, you can’t just sing a whole fu-king song about a secret and then not tell us what the fuuk it is. It’s not proper. After "Don’t Cry For Me Argentina" KEYBOARDIST ’Ey, M’donna! Where’d ’at song come from, eh? MADONNA What the fuck do you mean where did it come from? It came from my bloody larynx you stupid twit. KEYBOARDIST I’m not askin’ you ’ose fucking gizzard it came from. I mean what film was it in? MADONNA Have you been living in a cave? It’s from "Evita." GUITARIST The chick what had 15,000 pairs of shoes? After "La Isla Bonita" DRUMMER "La Isla Bonita"? What the fuck kind of language is that, bloody German? MADONNA What fucked up section of Germany have you been to? Wanker. After "Shanti/Ashtangi" GUITARIST [Looks profoundly nervous. At first opportunity, stealthily slips off stage and breaks into full sprint. "Weird Al" attempts to replace him but is beaten senseless by Guy Ritchie’s elite corps of soccer hooligans.]

Thank the Lawd I got my tickets. Been waiting for this baby all year.

Just for the record, I was never a promotor or thought he was the man. I did, (and still do) respect the fact that he was King of Clubland at one time. Despite the fact of how he got there was in lack of better terms unconventional and outside the law. However, if you are insinuating that I (and I wish you would have directed it to me) am trying to revive what was gone or am trying to hold on to the past, that is simply not the case and and I don't know how you got that in a sarcastic sentence.

[sarcasm]Oh I feel soooo sorry for him![/sarcasm] I couldn't stomach the whole article, but did he mention that he didn't pay his employees for months?

I love the taste of Red Bull, but for some reason it makes me vomit?!?!? And B2B, I've stopped shooting it and a, now giving myself Red Bull enemas. Vampie, I used to drink it every weekend until one weekend I was rolling and I drank the whole thing in a minute, immediately vomited and haven't been able to keep it down since then. You know like when you vomit from Tequila? Your body says "OH no, not that shit again..."

Or is it just me?

Centro Fly is just fine the way it is. They have a great rotation of a different house genre than Twilo for a reason.

No more Porno for Pyros????? I actually cried when janes addiction broke up....they were my NSYNC.

I though you couldn't take a camera into Sound Factory?

And not just "it was great..woo-hooo" I need details and song titles. THank you

B2B, once again you are th voice of reason. Let's not foget that there are children in Africa that only have wooden spoons, that would prolly burn their village down if they burnt their spoons.