you're bald and/or balding you know you're much cooler online than offline you have MAD MP3s You know what 'bacne' is and it has been a scourge for the past year Your friend's friend's friend gets mail order juice/k/g onthe internet (and , coincidentally, ur the only one amongst ur friends who knows how to USE the interet{) You get choked up like a bitch when you hear my love is your love you have worn glitter, leopard prints, cowboy hats, spandex AND YOU ARE A MAN The only time you are ver in Manahttan is to go to Cracktory People have used you as a staicase because you were too mangled to get the fuck up You can pumpo your fist like no one's business.