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yo mamma

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Everything posted by yo mamma

  1. Wow. U seem like u need some help with your lines. Try one of these, guaranteed to work, I promise: I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes. Nice legs...what time do they open? Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more? Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one? I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag. I’d really like to see how you look when I’m naked. Are those real? If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. (Look down at the crotch)...It’s not just going to suck itself. You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any Questions? Fuck me if I’m wrong but is your name Helga? My name is ----------... Remember it. You’ll be screaming it later. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to. I know milk it does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking? Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? What, you don’t like pizza? I may not be Dairy Queen but I’ll treat you right. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I??? Do you wash your pants in Windex? ...because I can see myself in them. GOOD LUCK!
  2. Starcapone. That was u? I was the one u tongued. Well, i didn't ask for the tongue. I was simply making conversation. I asked for your #, so u would just leave me the f*ck alone. Next thing i know u are slamming your tongue down my throat. Well guess what? My boyfriend didn't appreciate it at all. In fact he hasn't spoken to me since. So thanks alot. Gooly jeez. Next time think before u act. (broken-hearted), Hung
  3. Bolts, Why do i get the feeling that u must look like a stunt double for the "Elephant man". U seem bitter or is it just me?
  4. R u serious? U r fucking pathetic!! What a herb. 500 posts! Get a life!!
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