weyes

having been without internet service for a few days, i'm furious with time warner. and though i can't get the time back - i really had a lot to get done that was time-sensitive - i can at least get time warner to pay me back for my service lost. one shouldn't forget - or feel embarrassed - to demand one's money back for services one hasn't received. i was without internet service for 2 and a half days, but time warner bills ahead of time, unlike any other service provider i know (meaning, as compared to the gas company, the electric company, and so on.). that means that they have already charged me for internet service i did not receive. and it may seem like "nickel-and-diming" to some, but i feel that, besides me being owed the money, time warner could use a taste of their own medicine; they charge me 15 cents a month per remote control, which is just petty. i mean, seriously, as though that's a bonus feature . it's a pain to call and do, but worth it. tune in tomorrow.

hey, vic !!! i haven't been doing it daily, though; i'm terrible . how've you been?

monitoring others' behavior, gossiping, and judging other people's decisions and lives is not only a waste of time, it is time that one could spend actively living one's own life. picture all that could be done in the time that some folks spend chattering about other people. sure, we all need some downtime to have conversation, but judgmental gossip isn't even relaxing anyway - it's more like work. and if one is going to work, it might as well be constructive. tune in tomorrow.

here's an old favorite topic for clubplaneteers: being "that old person in the club." well, i'm here to say that it's never too old to dance. and here are two lighthearted arguments to back that up: clubs are dark for many reasons. hiding appearance, including age, is one of 'em. always remember disco sally: she's one of my idols . tune in tomorrow.

taking a walk around the neighborhood can do so many great things for a person. to name a few: get reacquainted with stores and services available. get reacquainted with the lovely natural beauty right in one's own "backyard," including the things that change throughout the year, like the flowers in bloom. make contact with other humans. los angelenos could always use some more of that. get some fresh air. clear one's head and de-stress. get some exercise. run some errands and save some gas (and pollution) doing them. sometimes simplifying yields the best results. tune in tomorrow.

something a lot of people do without noticing it or meaning to do it, either: slam doors. one should pay attention when closing a door and do it gently, as slamming is not only loud, it can shake a wall that is shared with others, and/or it can be interpreted as hostile. on the other side of the coin, one should be mindful and close doors behind him/herself, as well, when going through ones that were closed to begin with. this is especially true when entering a room that is being air conditioned or heated, or when using a door that will either stick open when not closed or will, well, slam. (see how it all came back around, there ?) tune in tomorrow.

away again! back again. when one signs his/her name on anything, it is legal and binding. no matter what it is and with whom, a contract is a contract. that means that, even if it's written on a scrap of paper, even if it's entered into with someone who one no longer likes, it is still a contract. one's word is always one's word and doesn't change just because one changes his/her mind. that's why everyone should read anything carefully before signing it. once again, this column can be covered under the golden rule. no one would want anyone to break a promise to him/her, so s/he shouldn't do that to anyone else. the only difference, this time, is that the law is involved. tune in tomorrow.

here's some good news - as well as something important to remember - for those getting laid off: one should remember to call his/her car insurer and inform them that s/he is no longer working. that will reduce one's rate, as it reduces one's use of the car (or it does in theory, in their eyes). tune in tomorrow.

one can get down in the dumps thinking about bad things people may or may not have said about him/her behind his/her back, or one can remember that a lot of great compliments are also thrown around but never delivered to people - in general - directly. if one is really concerned about it, the good and bad opinions probably even out, but worrying about what other people think is simply wasted time. tune in tomorrow.

buying clothes for the body one hopes to have can just leave one with a bunch of clothes that don't fit and an empty bank account. while it's nice to imagine oneself losing weight, it's best to buy new clothes to fit one's body after one has actually done so.* tune in tomorrow. *exception to this advice: pregnant women .

claiming to "not be a morning person" does not give a person the right to treat everyone else like shit before noon. there is never an excuse to treat other people with disrespect, and especially not on a daily basis . tune in tomorrow.

a lot of what's written in this column is simply covered by the "golden rule," but i break it down anyway. here's one for noisy neighbors. it's midnight on a thursday, and one finds him/herself feeling the urge to have some music flooding his/her eardrums. what does one do? blast one's stereo super-loud, or put on headphones and play music super-loud? the answer to that question can be found by answering another: do other people living nearby want to hear the music or not? or perhaps this question: do other people nearby want to sleep? yes, unfortunately, almost everyone lives within earshot of someone else. this means that we all need to respect those around us, and that includes not making insane amounts of noise at inappropriate times, no matter how "awesome" said noise may be. tune in tomorrow.

telling other people what to do is simply arrogant. advice and suggestions are appropriate when requested and/or polite, but when someone starts insisting that s/he knows what other people should be doing with their time more than they do, it's time for that person to get off his/her high horse and start living his/her own life. tune in tomorrow.

there are a lot of things on which religious people and atheists will never see eye-to-eye. there is a phrase that's often said, though, that doesn't make sense, and needs some examination. what christians refer to as "being a good christian," is what everyone else refers to as being a decent human being. why is it important to eliminate this phrase from everyday life, to make it unacceptable? because it's discriminatory and insulting to all non-christians, not just to non-religious people. the "christian thing to do," interestingly enough, is never about anything religious; people have come to use it as a synonym for doing something nice, neighborly, responsible, or sensible. it's just a phrase christians use to exercise pride in their religion, which is absolutely fine. being proud of one's faith is great, but not when at the cost of putting everyone else's belief systems down. so we should all stop talking around the issues and say what we mean. how about 2 different statements, like, "i did a good deed today," and "i'm proud of my religion." it's more honest, and less destructive. tune in tomorrow.

sometimes it can be so easy to get caught up in seeking praise from those who never give it that one loses sight of what really matters: that s/he has done something praiseworthy. instead of trying to please people who can't or won't be pleased - or who just won't show it - we should focus on being proud of our own accomplishments . tune in tomorrow.

for a different perspective, the classic advice is to take a closer look. sometimes, however, one can learn more about a situation by taking a few steps back. detaching can be a terrific way to learn a great many new things . tune in tomorrow.

when speaking at an event, it is important to be aware of what is appropriate and what is not, especially if the event is of religious, cultural, or political importance. this being 9/11, i and the secular choir with which i sing were invited to perform at the richard nixon library commemorating the anniversary of the attacks in 2001. at said event there were 3 speakers, all of whom missed the mark on what was appropriate for this event. the first speaker, the orange county sheriff, quoted a number of george w. bush speeches, included the famous "they hate us for our freedom" line, and praised his presidency and "wisdom." she politicized this event. inappropriate. the next speaker went on a rant about how he was "sick about what's going on next door." he was alluding to something going on at the library, and was angry with some people who said some things about nixon that weren't nice. most of the people in the room had no idea what he was talking about, as far as library politics went, so people looked around at each other with confused expressions. as far as his personal vendetta about the state of nixon's legacy - it turned out that he had worked with nixon during his time in the white house. at any rate, both of his rants were totally irrelevant and inappropriate. just because one is given a microphone doesn't mean one has the right to yell about everything that bothers him/her. the third speaker was a thirty-something and a veteran who proudly spoke of "killing the enemy, because it needed to be done." he then told us that, if we ever were to come across a veteran in the street, to "stop him, and tell him to go back to iraq or afghanistan and fight." wow. i was bowled over. talk about disrespect. and to hear that from a veteran made no sense to me. this event should have been a tribute to those who lost their lives and a celebration of peace, not a soapbox for a few people who wanted to go off on self-serving tangents. they should have been reminded that the event was not about them. tune in tomorrow.

finally back from weyes' brother's wedding, and i am chock full o' lessons learned. don't know where to start... one's family knows how to make him/her crazy like no one else. one might argue that, not only do one's relatives know how to push one's buttons best, but that they may have created them in the first place. they are, after all, the ones with whom we have spent the most time throughout our lives. sometimes there are roles that our families expect us to play. for instance, sometimes the first child is the "golden child," the one who has always been seen as the one who could do no wrong. even though s/he may be an adult, the elders in the family still treat the person like some sort of infallible celebrity, bestowing untrue praise upon him/her and ignoring what may be serious problems, like addictions or the way s/he treats people other than the older family members. the last child is often thrown into the role of "whipping boy/girl": the scapegoat, the annoyance, the fuck-up. whenever there are expectations or set roles that people are "supposed" to play, it's easy for people to fall into these roles. it's sort of a "people only see what they want to see" sort of situation, and the role-fillers don't really have much of a choice when it comes to how they are perceived. what they can control, however, is how they approach the situation. if one realizes that these assignments have nothing to do with the assigned and everything to do with the assigners, there's a very freeing feeling that comes along with it. one can say to him/herself, "it's not so much that I'M supposed to be the asshole, but that other people really want there to BE an asshole here." one can just go about his/her business and try to ignore whatever bullshit may be thrown his/her way as best s/he can. and if it still hurts and still feels shitty to be pigeon-holed, that's ok; these things take time. one just need remember that this negativity took many years to create, and it may take many to destroy. till then, keeping one's head above water is a pretty big accomplishment, too. tune in tomorrow.

if one is feeling all alone in having a certain opinion or feeling a certain way, all s/he needs to do is keep looking; there is someone out there who agrees, no matter how unpopular the idea. with the internet at all of our fingertips, there is simply no excuse for feeling isolated in one's ideology. and if one is having trouble finding like-minded freaks, s/he can always start his or her own group! connecting is a positive thing . tune in tomorrow.

when one starts feeling panicky, s/he tends to get fidgety and usually finds him/herself pacing or otherwise in motion, unable to focus on anything - not even on what s/he may be feeling panicky about. as cliched as it sounds, the first step to regaining control and calm is to take some deliberate and slow breaths, then to sit down and still. when one gets his/her physical self back to a managable state, it's just naturally much easier to work on and deal with what may be emotionally troublesome. tune in tomorrow.

although i hesitate to use the words "never" and "always," i'm tempted to use "always" here... double-checking is almost always a good idea, or, put another way: almost always can't hurt. the only bad thing double-checking does is annoy. it's better to be annoying and sure, though, then disappointed or angry when found to be incorrect. tune in tomorrow.

one should be considerate of the people with whom one lives in many ways. today, though, i will focus on one: their noses. if one has stinky feet or armpit odor, one should take care of it before hanging around one's roommates/family. this is especially important when it comes to rubbing one's stinky body parts all over the rug & furniture. if one is a smoker, one may have a poor sense of smell, so smokers should take special care in this arena. common sense applies, though; if a person is sweaty, has sweaty feet, or has been wearing shoes without socks, washing is probably in order before lounging around the house. tune in tomorrow.

these days, a lot of job-seekers post their resumes on sites like monster and hotjobs for employers to find, hoping to get called in for interviews for jobs they didn't find themselves when searching those sites. here's a piece of advice for anyone who gets called in for a meeting from a prospective "employer": ask what the job is before going in. today i was duped into wasting a good chunk of time (which turned it into a bad chunk!) because i thought i was going to a job interview and was sorely mistaken. an insurance company called me yesterday and told me to come in at 1pm today. i figured they had an administrative assistant position open or something. when i arrived, there were about 50 other people there. we were taken into a room to watch a short video, then made to listen to 2 guys give speeches about this company, which seems to be part scam, part pyramid scheme, part maybe a real insurance broker - i'm not sure. but when i went to that company's website last night, the address to which i went today was not listed as a location. the building also didn't have a sign outside identifying itself as this company, unlike all the buildings in the video we watched. also, all the doors through which i walked today were labeled with other people's and company's names. and here's the kicker: they wanted us to pony up $100 for a "background check" before we could apply for "jobs" with them . seriously. and i really thought i had a chance today of getting a job. had i asked what job this was regarding on the phone yesterday, i probably would've been told it was "a great investment opportunity" or something like that, and i would've known not to waste my time and gas. tune in tomorrow.

moving away from friends or having friends move away doesn't mean that said people need lose touch. if a person makes one smile, s/he is worth making the effort to see, even if only once in a while. tune in tomorrow.

watching romantic comedies/dramas and tv are an easy way to develop unrealistic expectations. but while real life is generally not as dramatic, awesome, exciting, or poetic as fiction, it has one important leg up on it: it's real. tune in tomorrow.