weyes

o my WORD, i am just drained these days... between the smoke in my area last weekend, my secular choir's performance and now extra rehearsals for our next gig, trying to find a place with decent glasses to replace mine that are broken (haven't succeeded in that yet) and shopping and preparing for my thanksgiving trip to arizona (including the grand canyon!), i have been feeling totally overwhelmed. i stopped talking to a friend of mine a couple of months ago 'cause i couldn't deal with her crap anymore; one thing i can't stand is people who have the presence of mind to identify what's wrong with them and/or what's wrong with their lives, yet consciously decide to do nothing about it. ignoring the problems she has in the professional, scholastic, family, social, and financial areas in her life, this girl also has serious emotional and mental issues. while she had acknowledged them at one time, she has chosen for the last couple of years to ignore some, deny others, and wallow in the rest. a while back she decided to address just her depression, took medication for it and felt better, but found that feeling good didn't feel normal to her, so she stopped taking it. even though that's common, it's irrational and self-destructive, and i find it infuriating in people i know and care about. so i had to cut myself off from her. this girl texted me on monday while i was at work, another habit of hers that always annoyed me. now i realize that this is the second friendship of mine i've written about in this column in the past year and a half that's ended in a sad way, but my point is that, even in the ending of a friendship, there is a great opportunity for many lessons to be learned and standards for one to raise for him/herself. a friendship can't work if there isn't mutual respect, of course, but in this case it's worse: if both parties don't respect themselves, there's absolutely no hope whatsoever . tune in tomorrow (i really will try.).

sometimes one can get so used to a lifestyle of temporary fixes and makeshift repairs (jury rigging) that s/he doesn't even realize that his/her life has become a mess of glue and string. it can require the perspective of an outsider to bring him/her back to reality. it's a good idea to generally be open to other people's perspectives in all areas of one's life, but i write about the material today because someone brought it to mind. instead of looking for new shoes, someone i know sought new duct tape to fix her ripped and already very duct taped sneakers. she seemed attached to both the shells of what used to be sneakers and the tape. why get new shoes when a new layer of tape will do, for a week or two ? i suggested new sneakers and she recoiled in horror, not 'cause she couldn't afford them, but because they seemed so unnecessary to her. to any sensible person, however, the scraps of rubber falling off her feet were no longer functional as footwear. taking a step back and an objective look at things would do us all (and our feet, in this case) some good . tune in tomorrow.

don't stick your wenis in a pool jet 'cause you think it'll feel good 'cause it won't feel good when they have to call the ambulance and you get on the darwin awards and your mom won't talk to you again 'cause you whipped it out in public and put it in pool parts plus she's a conservative republican that does volunteer work with the pope. in short, don't stick your wenis in anything that doesn't vibrate, isn't human, or isn't sold for sexual purposes. examples may include pool jets, of course, electrical sockets, holes in men's room walls, birdhouses, cigar cutters, etc., etc. tune in tomorrow.* *today's column brought to you by weyes' roommate .

wow - what an election! this has had me a nervous wreck for a while and i'm glad it's over. i'm not happy with a lot of the propositions' results, but nothing is ever set in stone. i wish i had posted today's column earlier, though i wish i had followed this advice myself even sooner than this. elections bring out the best, worst, and the CRAZY in people. i, personally, had no idea that the people with whom i work are so ignorant, and by "ignorant" i really mean mostly uneducated, in most cases. healthy debate can be interesting and sometimes educational, but here are a few statements that the person with whom one is engaged in political debate may make that are good indications that one might want to stop said conversation, and immediately, because it will go nowhere: - "why vote?/who cares?/it doesn't matter? there is no difference between the candidates, anyway." - "it's a slippery slope." - "well, I heard somewhere that..." - "if we let [pretty much anything even slightly progressive] happen, then [enter ridiculous scenario] will be next." - "the bible says..." - "it's been that way since the beginning of time." i'd like to conclude today's column with the comment that, as an employee of an institution of higher learning and someone who is therefore surrounded by "our future" on a daily basis, i'm very frightened . tune in tomorrow.

wowsers, what a halloween... anyway, on to the column. sometimes, one just has to put something on the credit card. it's no secret that i'm broke; having the lowest paying position where i work (even though i actually work a position other than - and higher than - the one for which i'm getting paid) and having to spend more than a grand on my car in one month have left me particularly broke right now. but i have been without contacts for 8 months and have glued my 8-year-old glasses back together for the last time, and even though i have no vision insurance, it's time to go to the eye doctor. i made an appointment yesterday. it's about prioritizing, and while owing less money is a worthy goal, seeing better, not having headaches, and wearing glasses that aren't ghetto and kept together with krazy glue are better goals . tune in tomorrow.

i'll be here: http://freakscomeout.com/ if you see a girl dressed "like the other girls" , that'll be me ! say, "hi!"

ah, tomorrow is my favorite holiday, halloween! i'm not gonna post my usual list of unacceptable (=uncreative and/or just lingerie with accessories) costumes, 'cause, by now, everyone who dresses up in these costumes knows what s/he's doing. i'll just say that it makes for boring parties. instead, here are some practical tips for everyone else: - one should try on his/her costume before it's too late to fix it! if something turns out to be the wrong size, too flimsy, etc., it's a big pain to find that out when one is walking out the door. - the footwear should be comfortable enough to get one through the festivities. not only will the wearer of the shoes that don't quite fit (or shoes w/ other issue) regret the choice, but his/her companions will regret partying with the whiner. - the temperature of the party must dictate the thickness of the outfit. if one plans to be on an overheated dancefloor on halloween night, the snuffleupagus costume will have to wait till next year. - a lot of costumes don't fare well in transit. there's no shame in finishing up some details when one gets to his/her destination. happy halloween to everyone tomorrow, and don't be the asshole that gives the kids pennies or raisins or says, "trick!" tune in tomorrow (halloween!).

proposition 8 has inspired many californians who usually don't care about voting to vote. this measure, which proposes banning same-sex marriage, has brought many religious people out of the woodwork who claim that people must vote for it because "the bible clearly states that homosexuality is an abomination." everyone certainly has the right to his or her opinion on the subject, for or against. but if one is against gay marriage on religious grounds, it is NOT acceptable to vote for proposition 8 [which would outlaw gay marriage; being for the prop is being against the concept, for any who may be confused]. the united states of america was founded on the priniciple of separation of church and state and, even though in recent years a lot of people seem to have lost sight of that, it is essential. we as a society cannot have freedom of religion if religious law takes over the land, and i'm sure everyone can relate to the idea of not wanting to be told what to believe. tune in tomorrow.

wow... i hadn't been to a 99-cent store in forever and a day because my experiences with them had been that all they had were expired food, cleaning products that somehow, magically, didn't clean , dolls that aren't even worth 99 cents, fake flowers, and other assorted useless junk. i was looking for something in particular, though, and 3 co-workers suggested 99-cent stores. one such store happened to be in a shopping center where i was today, and i thought i'd drop in. they've changed since i last went (and i went to 2, so i can use a plural)! i found what i was looking for and more, including some men's dress socks that are currently on sale at target (gold toe brand) for more than 3 times the price (these were LESS than 99 cents), and a type of marker i've been looking for for ages and can't even find in art stores. whether the markers work remains to be seen, but i'm excited to have found them, so i'm going to be optimistic and assume that they do. it just goes to show that things are worth revisiting, not permanently writing off . tune in tomorrow.

where is everyone going for halloween? partying on friday, the 31st, the weekend before, the saturday after, or all of the above? do tell!

when someone flings insults and accusations that are inaccurate, it can be very tempting to get defensive and try to set the person straight. there are people, however, whose intent is not to know the truth or even be right, but just to be hurtful and/or feel powerful. there is no point in trying to explain oneself to these people, prove them wrong, or even get them clearer on what reality is, as it is a losing battle; it's not one of their goals and therefore not something to which they are open. the best way to approach these people and their attacks is to get away from them. tune in tomorrow.

those who know weyes know that i'm very into politics --- in the sense that i'm aware, up-to-date, informed, and never miss an election. it is not to say that i am supportive of most of what goes on. but as the general election nears, i am filled with many emotions: excitement, yes, but more anxiety, fear, dread, sadness... like many americans, the two remaining presidential candidates are not satisfactory to me. still, it is important TO VOTE. even if one hates both mccain and obama (which i don't - i find hate to be a ridiculous word), they are vastly different, and everyone must agree with one of them more than the other. that is reason alone to vote. but california's statewide ballot this november has 12 propositions that cover a wide range of issues. even if one feels like abstaining from the presidential election (again, a mistake, i feel), at least one of those issues has to mean something to him/her. this is also not even taking into account countywide measures and whatever local positions may be up for grabs... tune in tomorrow.

when it comes to artistic or construction-related endeavors, asking manufacturers for advice on specific projects or applications is a great idea, as they usually know their products best. it is important to note, however, they they will tend to err on the side of caution when advising consumers on how to use their merchandise, as they don't want angry customers. asking people or looking on the web for fellow users with practical experience with materials are other good sources to consult; averaging the advice of the manufacturers and everyday people will generally yield a more accurate and helpful result . tune in tomorrow.

halloween is fast approaching, and, even though halloween is my absolute favorite holiday, having had to drop another $650 on my car the other day has made me reevaluate my expenditures. i was totally stoked about my costume idea but had been having tons of trouble finding 3 of its essential components. i was also learning that, even if i did find 2 of them, they'd cost about 3-4 times what i thought they would. halloween was something i'd have to cut out altogether, i figured. but my roommate pointed out that there must be something else i could do that's cheaper. "there must be something in your closet," she said, "that you could throw together." i was reminded of a last-minute costume an ex-co-worker made one year: she wore a huge felt letter "p" on her shirt and put black face paint all around one of her eyes. "i'm a black-eyed 'p,'" she said, and, cheesy as it was, it was at least more creative than most of the costumes i saw that year. so i have an idea. it's not nearly as awesome as the costume i had in mind, but it'll do. and at least this way i can still go to a halloween party instead of sitting home, feeling sorry for my broke ass. tune in tomorrow.

for those who struggle with what to buy for people on their birthdays/other holidays: some of the best ideas for gifts can come from conversations. memories that people share often contain items that they miss having, anecdotes people tell explain that they'd like things, even if they're not consciously asking for them. if one is just observant, one can also tell what things may help solve problems or enhance experiences that people share in their stories. tune in tomorrow. p.s. happy birthday to weyes' roommate, tomorrow !

cars, the human body, teeth: three things whose serious problems tend to worsen if not attended to. it's hard, in these trying economic times, to live by this, as properly maintaining the things above often gets costly... but the old cliche of "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" truly applies here. as my car started shaking and rumbling loudly when i idled at stop lights, i dismissed it, saying, "it only happens sometimes... perhaps it's not all that important." eventually, though, it got too loud for comfort and i figured it must have had something to do with my last repairs, since this all started when i got my car back from that. i took it in and was told it was entirely unrelated, however - of course - and another $650 was due. but this work had to be done. and the only thing with which i can console myself is that, at least, if i had let it go longer, i know my car would've been worse off. if i have to charge money i don't have to my credit card, at least i should feel good that i'm doing the right thing by my car. tune in tomorrow.

when one falls upon hard times financially, it is not uncommon for one to turn to one's neighbor to ask for help. however, if one has literally lived next to or near someone for many years and never so much as said a hello, it is entirely inappropriate and, in fact, tasteless and rude to approach said neighbor only when in need of monetary assistance . when a neighbor has chosen to be a stranger until he needs something, s/he has no reason to think s/he deserves more consideration than an anonymous beggar; at least a person never knows if that beggar was choosing to ignore him/her when times were good. tune in tomorrow.

one should not promise a favor that one cannot keep. while it may just come easy to make promises, the person getting promised things may be depending on these things. but it's all part of living a sincere and honest life; if one takes everything seriously, this doesn't happen. tune in tomorrow.

there's a friend of mine who's been close to my heart many times when writing the column the past year and a half or so. at some point i had to distance myself from her because watching her insist on setting herself up for heartache with the same guy over and over became too painful. i found a way to still be a friend to her while knowing i could not want more for her than she did for herself. this week she told me that she's calling it quits with the guy for real this time, which i - and he - have both heard about 5 times before. but she was mad that the guy isn't taking her seriously and she said she didn't understand why. "it would be different," she said, "if he had done [x] or [y], or if he would do [this] or [that] or not [the other thing]." "he's interpreting this as just another 'shape up or ship out,'" i tried to explain. and why not? if issues are still on the table, it will never be over. she couldn't see her language as part of the problem; she didn't realize what she was saying because she's been living by those words for so long. she stated that she knew she "can't change him" but she doesn't realize that the words "if" and "would" are leaving the door just as open. i truly hope, for her sake, that this is the last breakup: that this is it. some part of me still thinks she's capable of being strong enough to leave him. but it doesn't matter what i think or even what she thinks; she has to change how she thinks. tune in tomorrow. tune in tomorrow.

wouldn't it be my luck? after i gained perspective on the scumfrog's gig, i went to his myspace. it's weird; i had a funny feeling that i should just check up on it. perhaps i jinxed it, 'cause it was no longer on his list of upcoming shows. he says it's only been postponed, though, and will be here before the end of the year. it's a good thing, i suppose, 'cause i haven't come up with a new shirt design yet. i have to show my appreciation properly, so it's a relief, in a way. i'll just keep an eye on his site and start designing .

i put in one of the scumfrog's cds the other day and was reminded of how awesome he really is, and i realized i'm being a brat ... the scumfrog really won't ever be playing closer to my house; i should be thankful. it's on a friday, too, which is convenient. and i'm in so much debt anyway, it really doesn't matter how much more i get into at this point (i know that's not "weyes," but o, well.). o, and my choir's event was reduced to just a trio that doesn't involve me, so that's not a conflict anymore. besides, if the club and its patrons do turn out to be wack, he deserves to have one real fan there. it should be kickass .

a person who consistently addresses strangers as "my friends" is at best insincere, but most likely removed from reality. not only is friendship earned, but basic recognition is one of the first requirements in any relationship; if a person cannot identify another, s/he certainly cannot say if said person is a friend or an enemy. seriously, people , let's insist on sincerity whenever possible. tune in tomorrow.

wow - what a crazy week last week was... and it inspires today's column. for those who don't know, i work at a college, and being that it is a public institution, it has been hit really hard with budget cuts. last week the school decided to cancel january session entirely, which is a drastic measure that leaves a lot of staff and instructors without pay that they had been counting on and students without a way to get credits that they need. i'll still be working, but it really is just an amazing sign of how bad things have gotten. our enrollment is up this semester by 11% since last spring, too, so it really is doing a disservice to our growing student population. it doesn't seem to figure that we have to cut services when we have more - well - customers, essentially, but that's how things work. anyway, i have been working outside of my job description ever since i started because the job i hold is incorrectly classified. that is, the job inherently requires a lot more than the description states. there is no way around doing the things i do because they simply are required of me. i AM the receptionist and secretary, but my title is "general office clerk" and i am paid according to the title. i have filed the appropriate paperwork to be paid according to what i really do. one is only allowed to do so in october or march, and i can't afford to wait till march, especially with all the time it takes for the review process and approval committees, etc. it is illegal for my reclassification to be denied solely due to budgetary reasons, but i am encountering resistance from people who think i have no right to be paid correctly right now. these people are generally ones who have no say in the matter, however, and don't know how all of this works. the district can rule that i deserve higher pay but that it can't be afforded just yet, and then they can pay me the correct rate retroactively later. so, to the point... one should learn one's rights in situations like this. even when one's employer is in a financial crisis, one doesn't deserve to be dicked over. one should ask his/her union what protections s/he has, what all possible outcomes are, what the best plan of action is. the money that one should be paid, while essential to one employee's survival, truly is a drop in the bucket to a company, even to one that's trying to cut back. and one should remember that asking for what's right is NOT asking for too much. tune in tomorrow.

people who may seem overly shy or who who may even seem to ignore or avoid people to a noticably strange degree may have something going on besides bad manners. a lot of people with social disorders, mental and emotional problems, and even speech impediments may just avoid talking to everyone because they are nervous about interacting with others and are afraid of being judged. even people with slight stutters may be so self-conscious that they just try to not to talk to people whenever possible. before getting angry at people who seem to habitually ignore him/her, one should consider this, or that the person may even be deaf (that happened to weyes once!). tune in tomorrow.

man - october's gonna be crazy ... the scumfrog is my favorite dj (as a lot of you know), and he's never come to spin so close to me; he's gonna be in anaheim and i live just a few miles from the place where he'll be. the problems: 1) it's the same night that my choir has a gig; i'll have to be late/might miss him and i'll be exhausted 2) the last 2 times i've seen him i've designed and printed shirts just for him; i've set a precedent that i don't think i can or should break, and that gets expensive 3) i have about zero dough right now . my car was just broken into = $500 deductable. halloween is coming = costume+halloween party/parties. there are birthdays of 3 important people in my life in october = presents 4) this club (heat ultra lounge in anaheim) looks like it's majorly fake boob/fake tan/fake people, which is not only not my scene - those people really annoy me 5) i'll probably have to end up going alone, which is sad and sucks. my dancing friends don't go out anymore, and my other friends don't and won't go out dancing anyway, i know i just made it sound awesome ... anyone else interested?