weyes

while it is absolutely true that nothing one wears can rightfully incite violence, it is naive for one to think that his/her outfit can't produce a strong and undesired reaction. and, for instance, someone may want to think twice about wearing a shirt bearing a picture of barack obama that says "head nigger in charge" if s/he is not prepared to deal with however anyone else may feel about that. seriously. tune in tomorrow.

it's such a bummer to find out that a favorite band, dj, singer, or other type of performer has come to town and one has missed it. there are a bunch of great ways these days to keep on top of what's going on, like subscribing to the newsletters of favorite venues and ticketbrokers (such as g.roovetickets (minus the ".")), but the best way is to find an e-mail newsletter specific to the performer him/herself. a lot of artists have lists of their own to which one can subscribe by going on their websites, and other lists are run by fans on fansites. if neither exists, it's worth a try to send an e-mail or message to the performer through his/her website or facebook/myspace page; one may be surprised at how many artists will show their fans as much love as their fans show them . i'd hereby like to extend thanks to lady sovereign for announcing 1 tiny l.a. show to those on her e-mail list. o, and for 10 bucks !!! devotion has its rewards . tune in tomorrow.

tomorrow is obama's inauguration, and so many people are wrapped up in the "hope for change" spiel that they're expecting instant miracles; this'll be a setup for disappointment and anger if the economy isn't "fixed," the troops aren't home, and healthcare isn't perfect in 100 days. one must keep in mind, however, a few things: not everything can get done at once. it will take a long time to get everything started, let alone done. the president can't get anything done on his own. there's just as much bureaucracy and red tape as there always has been, and getting "change" passed will take a long time to go through congress, as usual. and yes, even obama will most likely alter and even go back on some campaign promises. despite the apotheosis that's been going on, obama is still a politician (and a human), and will have to compromise on some things in order to get them moving. and almost every elected official in our nation's history has reneged on something s/he's promised during his/her campaign. it's important to remember that any transition is difficult and that a new administration always takes a bit of time to get the hang of things. we're in a deep hole, and anyone would take a long time to dig us out of it. patience, all, and change will come . tune in tomorrow.

a lot of people on their new year's resolution to hit the gym every day (or people starting an exercise regimen in general) get in a pattern of working out really hard one day, then being so sore the next or next two that they skip the gym altogether. the easiest solution is, of course, not to overdo it in the first place. but, for instance, if one happens to do so much ab work on a monday that his/her tummy is tight and sore on tuesday, s/he shouldn't then skip the gym altogether and get out of the good everyday gym habit; instead, s/he can just do an arm-centered workout or something else that doesn't challenge the core so much. and just because one feels sore the day after a tough workout doesn't mean s/he should reward him/herself with an unhealthy meal, either ! tune in tomorrow.

to get the most honest response when asking for an opinion (and even when asking advice, from some people), one should observe the facial expressions and body language of the person one is asking. if the question is serious, deep, or important and the truth is really being sought, one should pay close attention; the answer sometimes lies in what a person does more than what s/he says. this isn't to say that most people are two-faced, but that a lot of people are afraid to speak their mind for fear of hurting others' feelings. their intentions are good when sugar-coating things, but many people's bodies betray their true feelings . tune in tomorrow.

these days there is almost always a way to find a piece of information, a service or an item one wants, or a venue for what one wants to do. if one runs into trouble finding what s/he is looking for, s/he just needs look more thoroughly, in different places, in different ways (i.e. internet, phone, ads, etc.), and to ask other people. it's sort of like when one is looking for a lost item and finds it by standing on chairs to survey a room from above and crawling on the floor to get a view of it from down below; a new approach is sometimes all one needs to achieve the desired result. tune in tomorrow.

if one is the type that finds him/herself lying awake at night, worrying or stressing out about any number of things, it would behoove him/her to make a particular effort to avoid upsetting things around bedtime. there are a lot of everyday stressors that people don't recognize as such because they've become part of these people's daily routines. for instance, if the news gets one worked up, s/he should skip it at night. if reading a high number on the bathroom scale will upset someone, s/he should step on it in the morning instead, when s/he has the whole day to deal with it. if looking up the checking account balance causes a freakout, the morning is a better time to do it, when one can take care of all kinds of business. and hey, everything will run more smoothly after a good night's sleep anyway . tune in tomorrow.

yes, the economy's in the shitter; that's all some people can talk about and there are constant reminders around us anyway. i went to a few stores this weekend and, not only were there hardly any shoppers, there was hardly any merchandise on the shelves . still, no kind of economic downturn excuses some of the behavior i've seen shoppers exhibit in the last couple of weeks. it has not suddenly become ok to: open makeup in the makeup section of cvs without buying it and shamelessly start putting it on take a bag of chips off the shelf at the store to give to your kid to eat while you shop and leave without ever paying for it realize, when the cashier at the supermarket has finished ringing you up, that she has neglected to scan your gum, then look at your friend and put it in your pocket i'll leave it at that . tune in tomorrow.

the term "guilty pleasure," while often used and felt, really is a silly one. "guilty pleasure" is either used in the context of liking something that is unpopular or, more often, nowadays, in the context of liking something that is thought of as too popular, to the point of being overplayed, lowbrow, etc. but no one should feel embarrassed or ashamed to just have an opinion on something. one should feel free to like anything at all and not care what anyone else thinks about it; remove the guilt and just leave the pleasure . tune in tomorrow.

a smart general grocery and drugstore shopping policy is to cover an entire store with a mind towards what one will need soon and what s/he uses regularly, not just what s/he needs right away. that way, s/he'll notice when things are on sale and save money more often than not. of course, reading the ads that come in the mail can keep one abreast of what's on sale ahead of time and direct him/her to the stores that will save him/her the most money, but covering the stores when already there is a good idea for those who don't want to bother reading the ads, don't have time to, or, like most people, are busy and/or forgetful. tune in tomorrow.

a lot of people use the "new year's resolution" label to make and mark a promise to themselves that they can break. since new year's resolutions are notorious for being broken (i.e. "i'm going to lose weight," "i'm going to quit smoking" etc.), some find it to be a convenient way to give some self-improvement a teeny bit of effort, and then not feel guilty when they decide to go back on the promise. a better idea, if one really wants to give one of the usual resolution-type ideas a real chance, is to try to make one of these changes at another time, when everyone else around him/her isn't setting a bad example by breaking their resolutions. waiting till after resolution season and not calling the intended life change a "resolution" are 2 good ways to give it a better chance of success . tune in tomorrow.

living a life that is honest, honorable, respectful, respectable, and exemplary is the secret to a life of simple satisfaction. self-improvement is the first step -- the ONLY first step -- to a more fulfilling time here on earth. focusing on oneself in the now makes everything better for all, now and in the future. goodbye, '08, and here's to all of us in a kickass '09! tune in tomorrow.

nothing and no one is 100% dependable. while this isn't to say that one should always have two sets of plans at the ready for every significant occasion, it is to say that expecting everyone and every event to be perfect all the time only leads to devastation when one is let down. tune in tomorrow for the wisdom of the year!!!

wow, anotherway; it's been a while. good to see you !

merry belated christmas, everyone !!! i'm back from my christmas vacation and boy, do i have a lesson learned... in the last few days leading up to christmas, it was easy to get swept up in running errands and getting ready for the festivities. forgoing exercise for a few days in a row is something lots of people do when tired or just really busy. but combining this with sleeping on a back- and neck-breaking pull-out sofa, and following it with a day of playing an insane amount of nintendo wii for the first time (especially when not fully figuring out how all of it works - fucking stupid boxing game ) is NOT wise . tune in tomorrow (weyes' birthday !!!).

ah - the last weekend before christmas: not the best time to go to the mall if you don't absolutely have to. my christmas shopping is done, but, glutton for punishment that i am, i went to the mall to get my watch battery changed (have to have my watch running for new year's!) and to exchange something i got on sale but didn't need. while there, i thought i'd have some lunch. christmas shopping-related crankiness is well-documented and, unfortunately, widespread, but here are some ways for people to avoid being sources of aggravation for everyone else: obey traffic laws. just 'cause it's december doesn't mean that it's suddenly ok to drive like a maniac. taking up ONLY ONE parking space is another rule that also still applies. walking in an efficient manner and not standing in everyone else's way keeps everything moving in an overcrowded area. taking up the only empty seats in the food court with shopping bags is just plain inconsiderate. other tired shoppers need a place to sit and eat, too. throwing out your trash is another rule that applies all year and which happens to be extra important when space is at a premium. and lastly, a little extra politeness and respect in general helps when everyone is feeling a little bit more rushed and stressed than usual . tune in tomorrow.

one of the most annoying things to hear when making a legitimate complaint is someone trying to invalidate it by saying "it could be worse." although some people say this to try to make the dissatisfied person feel better, it generally just comes across as condescending, belittling, a put-down. everyone has a right to his/her feelings, and if those feelings are unhappy, so be it. those feelings need to be felt just as much as the happy ones. just one recent case in point: at my work, no one got a cost-of-living raise this year (even though most people got rent increases). the january school session was cancelled, leaving all part-timers and teachers without a month's employment and students without classes to attend, about a third of the spring's offerings were cut even though enrollment is up by about 11%, leaving many students without the classes to finish their degrees. all staff is being required to work 4 10-hour days in the summer, which gets most people home by 8:15 p.m. at the earliest, leaving families unable to have dinner together and everyone exhausted. every department's supply budget has been eliminated, leaving the school without basics like pencils and dry-erase markers for the boards in the classrooms. employees and teachers now have to spend money on supplies if they need them - with the raises they didn't get. but every time anyone (student, teacher, or staff member) expressed any degree of sadness or disappointment to my geographically closest co-worker, i had to hear him say, "people should be glad they still have jobs." my early christmas gift to all my co-workers is to remind them all that they are entitled to feel shortchanged . tune in tomorrow.

it's 1 a.m. on the 19th, but who's counting ? there is no excuse for having a dead cell phone battery, and i say this because the people who have this happen are often people who fall "victim" to it often . if one keeps his/her cell phone charger either by his/her front door or on his/her bedside table, it's in view every day and night and therefore impossible to ignore. whether or not a person actually plugs the phone in is, of course, up to him or her, but s/he no longer has an excuse for forgetting to charge it. tune in tomorrow.

as a school employee, i love taking advantage of the library on campus. it's cheaper than buying books and more convenient than going to the public library. unfortunately, our library has a few rules that don't make sense: during student vacations (i.e. spring break) and between semesters they don't allow anyone - including employees - to check out books. that means that, the week before a vacation starts or end of semester comes, no books are checked out and all that are already checked out are suddenly due. i used to just ignore that and keep whatever books i had out, then pay whatever fines accrued. but after last time, when the fines were raised, it occured to me: at those rates, i might as well have bought the frikkin' books. people who don't use libraries often may think that fines are reasonable or are what they were when we were children. my school's library, though, now charges 50 cents/day per book, and that adds up fast, especially when they charge for days that they're not even open (which, i hear, is not every library's policy!). coming back to school and owing $11 once was a math - and common sense - lesson i did not appreciate . tune in tomorrow.

wow. i've learned so much this year about how to stay sane during christmas time, and i thought i'd just pass on a few things i've learned, just about shopping. it's been better than ever this year and i feel like i can breathe, for the first time in a while. of course, other people may already have been practicing these dos and don'ts for years, but since they were new to me, i thought i'd throw 'em in the column. do as much one-stop-shopping as possible. going to stores or malls that can take care of multiple recepients not only saves time, it reduces stress by getting the annoyance that is christmas shopping done sooner. for faraway friends and relatives, shopping online generally saves money. even with the post office's new flat rate boxes, most websites have cheaper shipping, and one saves money on the tax s/he would spend on items in retail stores, as well. avoid shopping alone. it's harder to get cranky about lines, prices, and obnoxious christmas music when one has a friend with whom to commiserate. bringing along a snack is a good idea when going all over the place to different stores. it prevents one from wasting time going and stopping someplace to eat and keeps one's energy and mood up. staying hydrated is also important, as it is on any other day. going shopping on weekdays or rainy days are, of course, not as crowded, but that really does go without saying. i thought i'd just throw that in 'cause it's supposed to rain here in socal for the next couple of [week]days... if christmas music and crowds are particularly maddening when shopping by yourself, bringing along an ipod might help keep the mood calm. and, of course, getting it done as soon as possible is best, though i know that's always easier said than done. this is the earliest i've ever finished, and i cannot even describe how great it feels. i keep having the feeling that i've forgotten someone... but i even had the added bonus of going to the post office and sending away my packages and not having to spend a totally insane amount of money on speedier shipping [as i said above, it's crazy expensive!]. o, and i thought i'd throw in that, for receiving, amazon wishlists are both kickass and convenient (though weyes could always just use more knee socks) . good luck to all, and to all a good night! tune in tomorrow; i'll be here since my shopping is done .

wow - it's been a tumultous season; i never neglected the column as much as i have the past few months. but i'm starting to get a handle on things, and learning in the process. so here's a biggie for the holiday season: i was stressing out a lot the past few weeks over going home for the holidays. like a lot of people, i have trouble at christmas time dealing with my family and the way they choose to "celebrate" the holiday. the same things happen and have happened for years: the same people get drunk and mean, some family members think it's a hoot to bring up painful memories for people and try to turn them into "humorous" stories, labels and insults are flung around in a very cavalier fashion, and there are more power struggles and strange incidents about control than i will ever understand or be able to explain. and it's freezing cold outside where we celebrate x-mas, in the middle of nowhere: no way to escape and too cold to enjoy the outdoors. it all ends up being the most hopeless and lonely time, for me, and that's just those few days around x-mas itself in that house - this isn't even mentioning the problems i have with what goes on with the world at large during december. anyway, i was planning to go home for my family's sake. i know it means a lot to them to have me there on x-mas. but every time i thought about it, i got into a panic and actually started crying . i had a plane ticket and was all committed to a 12-day stay, but when someone finally made the point that i shouldn't go for other people, the tears stopped and my mind cleared. why hadn't i thought of putting myself first ? it's been said before, i know, and it's simple. but if you don't put yourself first, it is true that you shouldn't expect anyone else to. tune in tomorrow.

back from my thanksgiving trip and i am exhausted, with a mean case of diarrhea . so, what did i learn on this trip that i can pass on? if your host is a menopausal woman, BRING EXTRA LAYERS. otherwise, you may find yourself shivering in her living room, wearing a long-sleeved thermal shirt, fur-lined hoodie with the hood up and tied, and your winter coat on, zipped up, listening to her say, "is anybody else hot?" while she turns on the ceiling fan. bring food for snacks and meals that are not the big holiday meal. one shouldn't expect one's host to feed him/her all the time, and one doesn't have to feel guilty about eating food that s/he has bought and brought him/herself. if one finds him/herself constipated after eating a series of snacks or unbalanced, starchy meals, it is wise to start eating more fiber and drinking plenty of water. if you are a chronic insomniac, like i am, bring along whatever it is you use or do whatever it is that helps you fall asleep, or i have no further advice for you. if you cannot do this, then you're fucked, like i was. fantastic .* uh-oh, time to go back to the bathroom. tune in tomorrow. *p.s. if you have any anti-insomnia advice, please pass it on!

the holidays are famous for being a time when family gets together, of course, but for a harmonious visit it is important to remember a few things: just because people are family doesn't mean they deserve less respect and sensitivity than everyone else. bringing up old embarrassing events or stories is very often NOT humorous to the people who were victims of said events. pushing people's buttons is NOT necessary. staying past one's welcome isn't cool, and most families are too polite to say what that cutoff date is, so it's pretty safe to say that 15 days or so should be one's limit, depending on how close one is to one's host(s). helping out with cooking, cleaning up, etc., is almost always appreciated, even if not demanded. too much alcohol can lead to abusive behavior in certain people; those people should be aware of that and act accordingly [this is true in life, though; not just at family gatherings !]. everyone should try to be extra mindful of other people's pet peeves and dislikes so that everyone remains as happy and stress-free as possible. and, just in case things go as terribly as they often do with many families, one should remember to pack something with which to escape, such as good headphones and music, books, tranquilizers , etc. tune in tomorrow.

as someone who likes to take her time and also can have a difficult time making decisions, i don't like to subject my friends to clothing shopping trips with me. i can spend a ridiculous amount of time just going through the clearance racks at old navy without even realizing it. i'm sure my roommate would've been annoyed on our last shopping trip, had she not had a few gifts to get and decisions she couldn't make on her own, either. when i do find that i need a nudge or a little input, though, and a salesgirl/lady has already engaged me in conversation, i'll ask her for her advice. i asked a store employee this weekend what she thought of a skirt, and she replied, "you don't have ugly legs or anything." she could work on her communication skills . tune in tomorrow.

these tough economic times are not only depressing, but they seem to be all that anyone can talk about these days. and there are constant reminders everywhere, like stores going out of business, college classes being cancelled, budgets at companies being slashed, and food prices going up. and weyes would hereby like to interject a "fuck you" to her apartment complex's laundry room management, who raised its prices with a sign explaining that it's due to "labor, service, and repair costs," while they neglected to fix the broken dryer . so, while all of this seems so overwhelming, it's important to do little things to cheer oneself up, and here are some free/cheap ones: taking extra time in the morning to look special or eat a more liesurely or tasty breakfast are a couple of ways to get a better start on the day. catching up with friends and family on the phone with whom one has fallen behind can also be relaxing. and getting more exercise or putting on some good music and dancing around the house can be a real mood booster. but getting enough sleep is truly what i find best, if at all possible. at the very least, if one can't get a handle on life to do all that other stuff, at least s/he can sleep through it . tune in tomorrow.