turpentyine Posted August 23 Report Share Posted August 23 How many times a day do u masturbate??? (ladies and gentlemen) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthvader Posted August 23 Report Share Posted August 23 ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted August 23 Report Share Posted August 23 just like the vitamin "one a day" "one a day keeps the blue balls away.." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted August 23 Report Share Posted August 23 2 balls in the sack.. hence... 2 times a day... if i have time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted August 23 Report Share Posted August 23 if darthvader is asking if you're serious, you know it's a crazy question ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turpentyine Posted August 24 Author Report Share Posted August 24 YES I AM SERIOUS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted August 24 Report Share Posted August 24 . . . hmm . . such an intriguing question . . . How many times a day do I masturbate? . . . Gosh . . I'd have to say between 34 and 37 times a day . . . . I mean, when I get a spare minute, I'm slappin' the shit out of that pickle no matter what the setting . . . . . . It's gettin kinda hard ( no pun intended ) to find a place to slap the salami nowadays at work . . . I mean, I"m working computers from 8 to 4 . . It's kinda hard to get a good rub when the work load has been high . . . I used to be able to squeeze one or two off between high level smokey back room financing meetings . . . . but not now . . Oh no, now I gotta tool with this computer and tool with that . . . It's just a whole lotta toolin' goin' on . . you get me? . . LOTSA TOOLAGE . . .. . . But none of the good kind . . . . SO now I have to compress my maturbatory cycle into just a few short hours of the day . . . Usually between 5:30 and 7:30 . . . I figure I'm good for at least 25 in that time period . . then save the next 6 or 7 before I go to sleep later in the night . . .maybe 5 or so more if things are frisky . . . Only thing is, friends get kinda pesky about getting me out of the house at that time a day . . . . . Sheesh, I mean what's up with that?? . . Like, how can you possibly tell me leaving the house for a night filled with traffic, smelly trains and Transvestite hookers named 'Violet' is more pleasurable then grasping that shaft and stroking to seminal glory . . . Wrangling that funky pickle of pulsating joy like the bad vegetable it IS!! . . . Yeeeeeee Haaawwwwww! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted August 24 Report Share Posted August 24 . . . . Plebians . . . I can see all of yall's sense of humor is about as fine tuned as your ability to find the right fucking hole . . . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted August 25 Report Share Posted August 25 Originally posted by phuturephunk . . . . Plebians . . . I can see all of yall's sense of humor is about as fine tuned as your ability to find the right fucking hole . . . . . . . i actually thought it was rather well-written, but what did you want me to say ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentBeefpile Posted August 25 Report Share Posted August 25 I liked it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted August 25 Report Share Posted August 25 Originally posted by weyes i actually thought it was rather well-written, but what did you want me to say ? . . eh. . . . I was just being a whiney attention whore . . . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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