klohe Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 my sister (who is the only guido lover) sent me this...THE PERFECT SOLUTION?By AJ KowalskiTired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down theshore? If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and have possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that one encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore. Travelers fear no more! I have the solution!-- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured identically to the H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and PA. The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all vehicle occupants:-Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If thevehicle is a convertible, no shirts are allowed.-Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with matching jackets and a Kangol hat.-All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all around (including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be shaved to a point.-All body hair must be completely shaven.-All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxurycars," but must be paid for by the driver's parents.-Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets and necklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal breathing.-Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of the aforementioned requirements, said member(s) will receive a two-month suspension from Joey's in Clifton and Tempts.In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L.would also provide the following free of charge:-Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "What is Love" by Haddaway or "Louder Than Love" by TKA. (Driver preference)-The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 series tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect pre-beach/club complexion. -To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 143 for two hours, take a minute and think how much you would appreciate a G.E.L. I, and all the Tri-State area guidos, am counting on your support! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neptune1 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by klohe -The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000 series tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to ensure a perfect pre-beach/club complexion. klohe, u know u would be begging me to drive in the guido express lane... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faith11878 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghhhhhost Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 has anyone noticed the abbreviation for Guido Express Lane.. (GEL)?? im fuckin dyin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 how many guidos did i see in 2 weeks....there's enough to populate a small state, i think.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by sassa :....there's enough to populate a small state.. its called new jersey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joediesel Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 THAT MIGHT BE ONE OF THE FUNIEST POSTS IVE EVER READ....BUT I WILL DEF QUALIFY TO BE IN THAT LANE.....LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by joediesel THAT MIGHT BE ONE OF THE FUNIEST POSTS IVE EVER READ....BUT I WILL DEF QUALIFY TO BE IN THAT LANE.....LOL :laugh:.....not really....u still dont have the spikes goin and and ur still missing something else....maybe by december u would qualify.... :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by ghhhhhost has anyone noticed the abbreviation for Guido Express Lane.. (GEL)?? im fuckin dyin :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxsweetie Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 :laugh: that reminds me of my recent trip to sea side...im getting nostalgic:heart: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted August 29 Author Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by ghhhhhost has anyone noticed the abbreviation for Guido Express Lane.. (GEL)?? im fuckin dyin I did not notice until you pointed it out!!! SHYT...makes it funnier!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyckitty69 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by klohe my sister (who is the only guido lover) sent me this...-To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids. :laugh: That is so hilarious! Would the nyc clubs make a profit w/ out them? It seems like the distribution is 65% guido and 25% asian 10% other for any given club. Even lot 61 has it's share of "wanna be upper class " guidos.There are tons of non italian guidos, what are they called? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by nyckitty69 That is so hilarious! Would the nyc clubs make a profit w/ out them? It seems like the distribution is 65% guido and 25% asian 10% other for any given club. Even lot 61 has it's share of "wanna be upper class " guidos.There are tons of non italian guidos, what are they called? I know this is off topic but Lot 61 def has one of the best Monday night parties around right now.........I didnt think there were alot of so-called "guidos" there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyckitty69 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by daveespa I know this is off topic but Lot 61 def has one of the best Monday night parties around right now.........I didnt think there were alot of so-called "guidos" there. There weren't a lot ie swarming the place like exit and sf but there were still some. and lot 61 is pretty cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 Originally posted by ghhhhhost has anyone noticed the abbreviation for Guido Express Lane.. (GEL)?? im fuckin dyin LOL I noiced that too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiko2o1 Posted August 29 Report Share Posted August 29 did anyone see the guido pics from the nj post? lol http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109615 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by nyckitty69 There weren't a lot ie swarming the place like exit and sf but there were still some. and lot 61 is pretty cool yea is def my spot now on monday nights....sik place:cool: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted August 30 Author Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by kiko2o1 did anyone see the guido pics from the nj post? lol http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109615 :laugh: I never check the Jersey Board, that shyt was hilarous!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveespa Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by klohe I never check the Jersey Board, that shyt was hilarous!!! :laugh: you might wanna check this thread out too...they make those nj guido pic a little more interesting:) http://bbs.clubplanet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109615 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perns2002 Posted August 30 Report Share Posted August 30 Originally posted by nyckitty69 That is so hilarious! Would the nyc clubs make a profit w/ out them? It seems like the distribution is 65% guido and 25% asian 10% other for any given club. Even lot 61 has it's share of "wanna be upper class " guidos.There are tons of non italian guidos, what are they called? Non-Italian guido's hmmmmmmmmmmmGREEKS kidding .............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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