Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community

I hate the holidays


Recommended Posts

just thought I'd share that...

So all you cheerful christmas light hanging, jingle bells singing, red and green wearing dingbats can suck it.

I cant wait until all this overblown crap is over.

If one more fucking person asks me what I'm doing for the HOLIDAY i'm going to give them a purple nurple.

that is all

:aright:

bah friggin humbug

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Holiday Sprit.. yah right.

It must be a evil spirit.

Ppl are just vicious this time of year.

Ready to take you dead off over a parking spot ………

Body checking you when try to make your way to the register..

The list goes on ……

FUCK THIS HOLIDAY SHIT

I HAD IT

Link to comment
Share on other sites

on the 6 train today...

<<random, disgruntled derelict spewing random cheer>>: all of you are going under. you are obsessed with things sinful. new york is going six feet under. manhattan, brooklyn, queens, bronx, all going under!

to which, i responded: and happy holidays to you too <<laughter from other commuters>>

now, i don't know what's more disturbing, that this omniscient derelict is predicting the fall of new york, or that he didn't recognize staten island as a borough of new york.

and i have a hunch that this 'derelict' was really lavendermenace in disguise. hmmmm.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by loch

now, i don't know what's more disturbing, that this omniscient derelict is predicting the fall of new york, or that he didn't recognize staten island as a borough of new york.

Staten Island isn't a borough of New York. Only tourists and Staten Islanders think it is.

Somebody hasn't been paying attention. :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by xpander

Staten Island isn't a borough of New York. Only tourists and Staten Islanders think it is.

Somebody hasn't been paying attention. :rolleyes:

it was sarcasm and a deliberate understatement of the obvious, genius. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it me or does the holidays bring every asshole out of there hole and onto the streets... While driving the last few days I have been suffering from the worst case of road rage...

One thing I love about the holidays... Sitting on long long lines and there is that one person who feels like they are the only one in the store. This person decides to be a hero and leave the line and find a manager... Upon finding the manager he/she decides to cause a complete scene in front of everyone how she has been waiting FOR EVER and is going to leave the store unless he/she is served right away... ( While all this is happening... The 3 people who were stanging behind this guy/lady on the line has already payed for there items and have left the store... The manager says in there nice tone of voice... I am sorry Sir/maam... You are going to have to wait on the line like everyone else there is nothing else I can do... With that said the moron who complained cannot find the people she was surrounded by on the line because they had already paid and left the store... So the stupid fucker has to get to the back of the line and wait 2 times as long...Tiz the fucking season...

But I love New Years... Another reason to get totally abliviated... There are certain parties I look forward to every year...

As for Xmas... Bah Fuckin Humbug!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(Re-run but perfect for

this thread!)

Guide to Ruining Christmas for Everyone

Dress up as Santa and wait until a group of children gather around you. When a large enough group has gathered, fake a heart attack and fall to the ground. Arrange beforehand for a friend to walk by and say, "Oh no, Santa Claus is dead!"

If you go into a restaurant that's playing Christmas music, sing along to a few lines as if you actually like it. Then, punch the hostess in the mouth and walk out.

Go to a Catholic school Christmas pageant and sit in the front row. When they get to the part about the three wise men, tie a red bandanna around your head, stand up, and run onto the stage yelling "Allahu Akbar!"

Donate an unwrapped toy or non-perishable food item to a charity. Replace the toy or food inside with a note that says, "Tell your parents to get a goddamn job."

Steal as many holiday decorations off people's lawns as you can.

When watching "It's a Wonderful Life," remind those around you that it's not such a "wonderful life" for starving children all over the globe.

Start a fight with anyone for any reason.

Go to Banana Republic in the mall and have an employee help you pick out a gift for everyone on your Christmas list. When you get to the counter say, "Never mind. All the turtlenecks in the world won't bring my Grandma back."

Wish everyone a Happy Hanukah.

Rent all the Christmas movies from your local Blockbuster. Don't return them until after New Year's.

When passing a punch bowl of eggnog, remark loudly how much it looks and tastes like cum.

If you see any midgets playing elves in pageants or store displays, remind them that they'll be out of work again on the 26th.

Ring people's doorbells and say "trick or treat!" When they tell you that Halloween was in October, feign embarrassment and say, "Sorry, our family can't afford a calendar."

Call Chinese restaurants using a phony Chinese accent. (Technically this won't ruin anyone's Christmas, but it sure is fun.)

Sit on Santa's lap in the mall and pee your pants.

Shit in a bag and throw it at a car. (Again, just for fun.)

Find a homeless person, bring him back to your house and give him a hot bath, a nice meal, and a warm bed. The next morning hunt him for sport with your Republican friends.

Give your nieces and nephews easily breakable toys with small parts they can choke on.

If you see someone proposing to his girlfriend like in one of those diamond commercials, go over to him and casually mention that she gave you the best blowjob of your life back in college.

Bring people to watch "The Santa Clause" starring Tim Allen

:idea: :idea: :idea:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by LavenderMenace

just thought I'd share that...

So all you cheerful christmas light hanging, jingle bells singing, red and green wearing dingbats can suck it.

I cant wait until all this overblown crap is over.

If one more fucking person asks me what I'm doing for the HOLIDAY i'm going to give them a purple nurple.

that is all

:aright:

bah friggin humbug

same here...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by LavenderMenace

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed... or buy anything sold or processed... or process anything sold, bought or processed... or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

great movie...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by mugwump

(Re-run but perfect for

this thread!)

Guide to Ruining Christmas for Everyone

Dress up as Santa and wait until a group of children gather around you. When a large enough group has gathered, fake a heart attack and fall to the ground. Arrange beforehand for a friend to walk by and say, "Oh no, Santa Claus is dead!"

If you go into a restaurant that's playing Christmas music, sing along to a few lines as if you actually like it. Then, punch the hostess in the mouth and walk out.

Go to a Catholic school Christmas pageant and sit in the front row. When they get to the part about the three wise men, tie a red bandanna around your head, stand up, and run onto the stage yelling "Allahu Akbar!"

Donate an unwrapped toy or non-perishable food item to a charity. Replace the toy or food inside with a note that says, "Tell your parents to get a goddamn job."

Steal as many holiday decorations off people's lawns as you can.

When watching "It's a Wonderful Life," remind those around you that it's not such a "wonderful life" for starving children all over the globe.

Start a fight with anyone for any reason.

Go to Banana Republic in the mall and have an employee help you pick out a gift for everyone on your Christmas list. When you get to the counter say, "Never mind. All the turtlenecks in the world won't bring my Grandma back."

Wish everyone a Happy Hanukah.

Rent all the Christmas movies from your local Blockbuster. Don't return them until after New Year's.

When passing a punch bowl of eggnog, remark loudly how much it looks and tastes like cum.

If you see any midgets playing elves in pageants or store displays, remind them that they'll be out of work again on the 26th.

Ring people's doorbells and say "trick or treat!" When they tell you that Halloween was in October, feign embarrassment and say, "Sorry, our family can't afford a calendar."

Call Chinese restaurants using a phony Chinese accent. (Technically this won't ruin anyone's Christmas, but it sure is fun.)

Sit on Santa's lap in the mall and pee your pants.

Shit in a bag and throw it at a car. (Again, just for fun.)

Find a homeless person, bring him back to your house and give him a hot bath, a nice meal, and a warm bed. The next morning hunt him for sport with your Republican friends.

Give your nieces and nephews easily breakable toys with small parts they can choke on.

If you see someone proposing to his girlfriend like in one of those diamond commercials, go over to him and casually mention that she gave you the best blowjob of your life back in college.

Bring people to watch "The Santa Clause" starring Tim Allen

:idea: :idea: :idea:

hahaha..... I love it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...