georgym Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 WHatcha think>?Im still mixed on this issue :^/oops... and if you're undecided, just say so and why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dknybabe2929 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 i say live with them before...its better to test out the waters to make sure you can adjust to your mates habits and things like that. It also allows u to compormise more by working out joint bils like food, cable, etc. I thinks its great and can def be a grwat perk in ur relationship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris817 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 you have to live with them, its a whole new ballgamebetter to find out before hand then after the honeymoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 OK, but what about the other side?Like, i m kinda with this girl who is old fashioned in ways, and this is one way. I brought it up to her once before, but it seems like she's already made up her mind about it. I kinda like to experience cohabitating before marriage, but ina way, i also like the surprise and complete "newness" of living with someone. Like diving into a pool rather than wading slowly into it...make sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 i woudl never marry someone i didnt live with beforehand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 I imagine that we'd live together first... but that's just me. I certainly wouldn't say that anyone should *not* get married unless they've first cohabited. I don't think of it as a test, either. I doubt that I'm going to be ready for marriage for quite some time now- in this day and age, why should that keep me away from the one I love? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 i would definitely live with the person first. some people just can't live together, and it's best to find out if you fit in that category before you commit to a relationship that'll end up being either miserable or broken-up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by weyes i would definitely live with the person first. some people just can't live together, and it's best to find out if you fit in that category before you commit to a relationship that'll end up being either miserable or broken-up. I hear ya, weyes.but what would u do if you're seeing someone, and one has one belief (live together b4 marriage) and the other (wait till marriage) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fierydesire Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 I would def wait. My girlfriends live with their b/f's and well they like it some days and other days don't. I would not want to live with anyone until perhaps we are engaged. Plus if you are compatible with the person without living with one another and you love that person soo much how much could the relationship change when you live with one another. . . Yeah each of your habits may be different but I would figure you would know most of them already. But this could be just be me because I like living alone. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 you dont really know someone till u live with them... my best friend in the world is the most amazing chick but spend three consecutive days in a house with her and the most rational/sane person would want to kill her or themself. why would you want till after you are in a binded agreement to find that out about someone?? i guess i can see what Z is saying but after knowing this girl, who i love to death and knowing the buttons she can press when she's in close quarters for a mere few days. i would definitely want to know this fact about her before i married her. im sure a lot of people wont be able to put up with her and will end up leaving after living with her for a short period. it happened in her last relationship, they got a place together, the relationship lasted 2 months after MAX (they had a great relationship up until then, talked about marriage and a future together constantly)also, me and my ex bf moved in together and got sick of eachother. i never wanna speak to that kid again. it was nice while it lasted but i dont see myself with him or even friends with him ever again. maybe if we didnt move in together i wouldnt have known i couldnt stand him and we would still see eachtoher hehe. im happy it went the other way. babble babble... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LatinaZee Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by gmccookny WHatcha think>?Im still mixed on this issue :^/oops... and if you're undecided, just say so and why what a great question!!I lived with my man 2 years before we got married. I think if both peoples intentions are to get married then yes... but if one doesnt eventually want to get married and just wants to live together ...not good.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Living together b4 marriage is def. a good idea.....Even though you know the little quirks about your bf/gf knowing & actually living with it are 2 totally different things...Living together brings the relationship to a new level & that's something that should be tested b4 marriage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 It's a hard balance to walk, and i appreciate all the feedback It seems that the majority of you are moving on from the traditional role of waiting for marriage and trying to live together beforehand.But then there's a few of my friends and coworkers who DO live with their girlfriend, and it completely doesn't work out.They tell me there's love there, but like Latinaz said, unless marriage is a HEAVY consideration, i don't think living together is such a good idea..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly0616 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 i would without a doubt need to see what living with the person is like. if you dont like living with them how could you marry them. and you dont know this until you lived with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by kelly0616 i would without a doubt need to see what living with the person is like. if you dont like living with them how could you marry them. and you dont know this until you lived with them. Yes, but living with someone too early could spoil it.Like i said... it's a hard balance to strike :^\ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by gmccookny It seems that the majority of you are moving on from the traditional role of waiting for marriage and trying to live together beforehand. Well, another thing to take into consideration, is that people aren't getting married as young as they used to. So there's this sort of in-between time. I was 23 when my ex and I moved in together; back in the day, I would've been considered an old maid to be single at that age!People say that those of our generation are too flighty and not willing to commit. But maybe this is a trend that will help to reverse the divorce rate. People are playing the field a lot longer, marrying at a later age, more frequently moving in together before marriage. Maybe this is the exact opposite of what critics say, maybe it's really an indication of how much we will actually value and work toward our marriage- when we're ready to be in one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by tastyt People say that those of our generation are too flighty and not willing to commit. But maybe this is a trend that will help to reverse the divorce rate. People are playing the field a lot longer, marrying at a later age, more frequently moving in together before marriage. Maybe this is the exact opposite of what critics say, maybe it's really an indication of how much we will actually value and work toward our marriage- when we're ready to be in one. Yes, this much is true.But then again, look at all these "reality" hook up dating shows, and the ones that set up people who don't even know each other to get married. Like those relationships will last Either way, i think moving in too early is not good, but when each person has the intention to marry each other, than i don't see how living together for a bit could hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 FUCK MARRIAGE does it really mean anything anymore? does any one else think it's an antiquated religious rite designed to force procreation and force a particular religions social-sexual mores on people?just asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 J, A few yrs ago I would have agreed with you, but now I want to get married. I see it as the way of saying that you love someone enough to publicily proclaim that you are going to commit the rest of your life to living, loving, and growing with them. And vice versa, of course. It seems so much more... secure, I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Definately live with before... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by tastyt J, A few yrs ago I would have agreed with you, but now I want to get married. I see it as the way of saying that you love someone enough to publicily proclaim that you are going to commit the rest of your life to living, loving, and growing with them. And vice versa, of course. It seems so much more... secure, I suppose. ok, understood. but, why the need for a church or state to sanction that union? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 ok, understood. but, why the need for a church or state to sanction that union? Formal ceremony has probably always been a part of human existance. Across the world and throughout history, we hold a ceremony to mark pretty much every important event in our lifetime. Possibly its one of those things that are hardwired into us. Why muck with it now?On a much less romantic and more practical note, there are lots of legal reasons why that piece of paper would actually make life a lot easier (especially in case of any sort of emergency or death). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 ok, understood. but, why the need for a church or state to sanction that union? yeah im with tasty. i used to think it was just a piece of paper but now i think it is the most meaningful committment. i think i have become a cheeseball. i dont give a shit about the church. it is just a way to tell someone you want to be with them for the rest of your life and for each of you to show your love & trust for eachother and have the security of knowing the feeling is mutual. what does the church have to do with anything? my brother got married on the beach in south carolina by a judge.. it doesnt have to be a religious ceremony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by somebitch yeah im with tasty. i used to think it was just a piece of paper but now i think it is the most meaningful committment. i think i have become a cheeseball. i dont give a shit about the church. it is just a way to tell someone you want to be with them for the rest of your life and for each of you to show your love & trust for eachother and have the security of knowing the feeling is mutual. what does the church have to do with anything? my brother got married on the beach in south carolina by a judge.. it doesnt have to be a religious ceremony. that's why i said church or state. why not just go to some field with some of your most intimate friends and family and proclaim your mutual love for one another in front of the people that matter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somebitch Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 that's why i said church or state. why not just go to some field with some of your most intimate friends and family and proclaim your mutual love for one another in front of the people that matter? well i dunno, i think that would be great and all but there is no documentation binding you. you could easily run off and deny it ever even happened if need be. with real marriage it is a much stronger commitment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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