rdancer Posted April 9 Report Share Posted April 9 A man walking along a California beach was deepin prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud,"Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded abovehis head and in a booming voice, the Lord said,"Because you have tried to be faithful to me inall ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I candrive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is verymaterialistic. Think of the enormous challengesfor that kind of undertaking. The supportsrequired to reach the bottom of the Pacific! Theconcrete and steel it would take! I can do it,but it is hard for me to justify your desire forworldly things. Take a little more time and thinkof another wish, a wish you think would honor andglorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finallyhe said, "Lord, I wish that I could understandwomen. I want to know how they feel inside, whatthey are thinking when they give the silenttreatment, why they cry, what they mean when theysay 'nothing', and how I can make a woman trulyhappy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes orfour lanes on that bridge?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clubrat88 Posted April 9 Report Share Posted April 9 i am sofa king.we todd did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Originally posted by clubrat88 i am sofa king.we todd did. wish i understood that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therunner Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Originally posted by weyes wish i understood that. Just say it outloud in the office. I know that one of your coworkers will know what you are talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therunner Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 You going to the Bar-B-Que?What Bar-B-Que?The one where I lay my meat across your grill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Originally posted by therunner Just say it outloud in the office. I know that one of your coworkers will know what you are talking about. ah. i had gotten the first line before my last post, but i couldn't get the second. i guess i should've spent more time on it. thanks.somebody'd better post some "knock, knock" jokes; i miss those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Originally posted by weyes ah. i had gotten the first line before my last post, but i couldn't get the second. i guess i should've spent more time on it. thanks. we did this to this girl i used to work with... shes a known *we todd* ... it was absolutely hilarious... she sat there reading it out loud 1000x and was just like "why r u all laughing?!?!??! i dont get it!??!?!!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trancerxn112 Posted April 10 Report Share Posted April 10 Knock KnockWhos there?An Interupting CowAn Interupting C...MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 11 Report Share Posted April 11 Originally posted by trancerxn112 Knock KnockWhos there?An Interupting CowAn Interupting C...MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO more, please ! (i know that one) i'll put up one of the very few i know just to put in effort, too:"knock, knock.""who's there?""lettuce.""lettuce, who?""lettuce in, it's cold outside :goofy: ." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
covetoys Posted April 11 Report Share Posted April 11 Two nuns walk into a bar, the first says "ow". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 11 Report Share Posted April 11 what did the gangsta say when two houses fell on him?"yo, get off me, homes." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted April 11 Author Report Share Posted April 11 One man, a burnette, and a blond are standing in an elevator together. The burnette observes that the man has dandruff. she turns to him in a polite manner and says, Sir you look like you could use some head and shoulders. The blond standing next to her looks puzzled, and replies " how do you give shoulders ?" :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted April 11 Author Report Share Posted April 11 A Dr. is giving an old women her physical. He listens to her chest and ask the old lady how long she has been bedridden. She replies" Oh! Not since my husband died!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quest1127 Posted April 11 Report Share Posted April 11 A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. Thehippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at thenext stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "Ifyou want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tellshim that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery topray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,"says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her tohave sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemeteryand waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's inthe middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes andglowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I willanswer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. Thehippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'mthe hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the busdriver!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weyes Posted April 12 Report Share Posted April 12 Originally posted by quest1127 A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. Thehippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at thenext stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "Ifyou want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tellshim that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery topray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,"says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her tohave sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemeteryand waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's inthe middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes andglowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I willanswer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. Thehippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'mthe hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the busdriver!" :goofy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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