sassa Posted May 11 Report Share Posted May 11 a spin off of the marriage thread.....how do you feel about divorce...if you were married...would you rule it as an option if things don't work out? if children were involved, would it be an option still?are you a product of a divorced set of parents? do you think it has affected the way you have relationships with people?your thoughts...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabina Posted May 11 Report Share Posted May 11 what is the statistic for divorced couples now?? like more than half of marriages end in divorce?? maybe i'm old fashioned, but i think it's really sad that people value the institution of marriage so little... i understand sometimes things don't work out and can't be fixed, but a lot of people seem to rush into marriage just for the sake of getting married... when i decide to get married, it'll be for the rest of my life... i don't see divorce as a solution for any problems i may have with my significant other, and i wouldn't marry someone i wasn't positive i could be happy with for the rest of my life... therefore, a long engagement would be necessary... although, i'm still really young and maybe a bit naive, so i'll see how i feel about this in a few years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted May 11 Report Share Posted May 11 i agree with mssabina, everyone is so quick to divorce, that there really isnt any point in marriage... it seems as if ppl are only going through the motions because thats what has to be done... a friend of mine was seeing a lady for four years and they finally got married last summer... in april their marriage was annulled (sp?) not even a year... wtf is that all about~!? why rush into marriage??? if youre going to be together forever and you feel this is the one, whether you get married the first year or 20 years later youre still together~!? no? on a side note, ive noticed that overly opulent weddings, tend to end in divorce... (no, thats not why i want a small wedding) anyone have any thoughts on that??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted May 11 Report Share Posted May 11 Originally posted by dgmodel on a side note, ive noticed that overly opulent weddings, tend to end in divorce... (no, thats not why i want a small wedding) anyone have any thoughts on that??? that makes no difference every couple is different....proly just a coincidence... im pretty sure that ppl with shot gun weddingsin vegas get divorced just as much as ppl with big ol' weddin'shahha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted May 12 Author Report Share Posted May 12 i agree with sabina...it's 6 out of 10 couples in the USA that get divorced...i think that's highly abnormal...and while i tend to see the benefits of living with someone before you get hitched...i also disagree with it.people should also discuss certain things before they take that big step...finance, long and short-term goals, education, children, location, careers........at least you'll save yourself a lot of potential trouble and confusion down the road...why don't people think about this stuff....why is the world so fucked up right now...everything is allowed, it's not right.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eurolisa Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 i view divorce as a last resort option, marriage is a life long commitment and two people should try and make it work no matter what especially if there are kids involved but it all depends on the situtation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 my thoughts on divorce are similar to my thoughts on abortion..... yea i mean do what u need to do but for me, abortion is not a solution.. neither is divorce.... the only time im supportive of abortion is if its a result of rape or abuse.. etc... when its not controlled... u can control getting married... u do it when ur positive this is the one... when ur 100% ready... u know? just like sex but of course things go completely wrong sometimes after u get married... and if its a destructive marriage, by all means, end it.idk call me old fashioned but divorce just isnt a solution to a problematic marriage... like dgmodel said... whats the difference if its the 1st year or 20 years? take ur time if possible.. dont rush it... but at the same time... the longer u wait... the more time u spend together NOT married, the more ull get to know that person inside and out, their beliefs, their opinions and thoughts... their way of life... and therefore, i think, the less likely the chance for divorce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 To say that divorce is never a solution... is extremely unrealistic. You have no idea what you are going to be like in 5 years, 10, 20, let alone what changes your spouse will go through. Which isn't to say that divorce should be taken lightly... or marriage either... I agree that, without a doubt people need to start taking it all more seriously. But you have no idea what life is going to throw your way. To say that you'd stay with someone even after years and years of unsuccesfully trying to work things out... why destroy your life like that?My parents just got divorced last year, after about 13 years of separation... before that, 6 years of living together but being at each others' throat most of the time. When people say "stay together for the kids," they seem to think that children don't notice conflict in the household or something. Kids are not stupid! When my mom and I finally moved out, when I was 14, I can't even tell you what an enormous weight had been lifted from both of our shoulders. It was just a lot healthier to be removed from that situation. Also, during all those long years of separation, they tried many times to work things out... and always, the same old problems kept coming back up again. There are two people involved in a marriage, the only way for it to succeed is for both of them to be working at it. To say that my mother should have stayed with my dad because marriage is "sacred," instead of moving on with her life, and now moving on to a new marriage with someone so much better suited for her and her happiness... well, it's extremely ignorant. When people say that divorce is never an option... well, if you've never lived through extreme household strife... you honestly have no idea what you're talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 wow didnt mean to hit a personal nerve there babe... just stating my opinion.. but maybe i didnt state it clearly... ur right. but going into it u cant just be like "ok.. ill get married now... if it doesnt work i can always get a divorce".... thats kinda more what i meant... just like saying abortion is not a form of birth control... u cant just have sex and be like its ok if i get pregnant ill just get an abortion... i guess i shouldnt have said its not a solution because a lot of times it is... but im saying at the initial point of getting married... i dont feel its right to look at it as though theres always an easy way out if u end up unhappy. my aunt rushed into getting married cuz she was gettin older and wanted kids... so she did... and now shes getting divorced... shes got 3 kids in a matter of 8 years... and shes got no $ cuz her husband isnt giving her shit... it sucks and sometimes theres just no other way around the problems. and no other way to be happy and move onand ur right. ive never been thru it personally so i dont know what im talking about when it comes to dealing with it on a personal level... but everyone has a right to their own opinion of whats right and whats wrong in their own eyes... and just because someone hasnt experienced it first hand, doesnt mean theyre ignorant... cuz feelings can change so let whoever think they way they want to think and let them idealize marriage however they want u know? cuz if it ever happens to them fr real im sure their outlook might change... once again, didnt mean to strike a nerve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted May 12 Report Share Posted May 12 My take...In all honesty I believe the reason why there is so much divorce in society today is due to both parties... Man / Woman being in the work place. Woman don't get all crazy and think I am being chauvinistic. Cause that is far from what I am stating. But hear me out...Ever since more and more woman have decided to become more independant and get into the work place I believe alot has changed. A) Men can be very intimidated when there significant other is bringing home more money than they are. Which I believe can cause alot of stress in a relationship. ( If you ask me... Screw that the more money we can both make together the better. Hopefully retire sooner and be able to enjoy each other before we pass ) Woman are not staying home and bearing children as much or not until a later time in there life so that they can advance in there career. ( In my opinion back in the day it was the fact that a couple had children and it helped keep them together )C) (1) Back in the day a woman was very careful because back then they could not make it on there own. They became very dependant on there husband. ( Financially ) It was very rare that women had an education and more rare that a woman held a good enough job to support herself. If you ask any old fashion woman. There work place was the home. Raise the children Etc. Etc. Etc... Which believe me I respect them more than anyone because a couple of days with my nephews and I am knocked out... GOD BLESS YOU WOMAN... LoL C) (2) Now you have woman who are becoming so successful that they do not need men. Not in a financial sense. Therefore when things go bad in a relationship it is that much easier to turn around and say " You know what. I don't need to put up with this shit anymore " and they are able to supposrt themselves very well. Again dont get me wrong. All I am doing is comparing the U.S in the old fashion sense and in todays day and age. It is a completely different place. And ever since the woman became in a sense equal ( dont quote me on that ) that is society... Well I just believe there is more tenstion and intimidation between men and woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted May 12 Author Report Share Posted May 12 i believe the woman (and the man, when he can) should seriously consider who will stay at home with the children they have, at least during their first 6 years of life. those are crucial emotional, and psychological times for any child, and so, it is the parents' responsibility to make sure they can do what they can to provide a stable, happy surrounding for them. better for society in the end too, you're not going to have fucked up kids who will eventually enter it, and you will also have a peace of mind knowing they will be amazing people one day.my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 VEry interesting thread In short, marriage is a very strong bond, and should only be done when BOTH parties are certain. I personally don't think living together before marriage is good.And yes, couples should figure out how the living situation will be before getting married (i.e. working, kids, raising kids, house, etc....)Please, take your time, kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by gmccookny VEry interesting thread In short, marriage is a very strong bond, and should only be done when BOTH parties are certain. I personally don't think living together before marriage is good.And yes, couples should figure out how the living situation will be before getting married (i.e. working, kids, raising kids, house, etc....)Please, take your time, kids agree with everything u just said . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barslut Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 nobody would ever marry a horse dike like sassa so why is she even asking about divorce? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted May 13 Author Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by barslut nobody would ever marry a horse dike like sassa so why is she even asking about divorce? what's wrong barbitch...did i offend you too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomicapples Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by barslut nobody would ever marry a horse dike like sassa so why is she even asking about divorce? isnt she married to mr ed?or was it willy the whale? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barslut Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by sassa what's wrong barbitch...did i offend you too? Wow your clever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 I don't believe in divorce....I'd rather be single until I'm 40 & find the person I <3 rather than meet someone while I'm young...eventually marry & get divorced along the line.......I also don;t agree w/ getting engaged at such a young age......People are so blinded by love they don't realize the people they are in their 20's isn't going to be the same person 10-20 years down the line....People grow & change & it's usually apart....DIVORCE SUCKS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by linabina wow didnt mean to hit a personal nerve there babe... just stating my opinion.. but maybe i didnt state it clearly... No worries... my rant wasn't directed at you personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 Originally posted by elementx My take...In all honesty I believe the reason why there is so much divorce in society today is due to both parties... Man / Woman being in the work place. C) (2) Now you have woman who are becoming so successful that they do not need men. Not in a financial sense. Therefore when things go bad in a relationship it is that much easier to turn around and say " You know what. I don't need to put up with this shit anymore " and they are able to supposrt themselves very well. You're definitely on to something here. I remember writing something when I was in college, about how traditionalists blame women in the workforce for the "breakdown of the family." Well, if marriage as it stands systematically denies the happiness and fulfillment of half of the people who enter into its union... I'd say there's something majorly wrong with marriage as an institution, and not with the women in these marriages. What changes need to be made to ensure the happiness of both parties involved, and the longevity of their union... that I don't know, but I intend to figure it out when the time comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted May 13 Report Share Posted May 13 See....the whole women in the workplace issue pisses me off!! A majority of the time finances become a major reason why married couples fight....I think it's great a woman can contribute to the household income.....Especially if there are children involved...The couple isnt struggling w/ expenses....Since there are 2 paychecks coming in & not just 1A friend of mine said she can't wait until she's barefoot & pregnant.....I almost fell over when she said this....It's not the 40's anymore......The role of "housewife" is practically non-existant.....So what....women are getting an education & bringing home the bacon......These husbands who have a problem w/ being married to a successful working woman need to get over themselves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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