entheogen808 Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 quick background...my gf was with her ex for 7 years when i met her a year ago. we hung out for a month until he broke it off, and we've been together for a year now. they're both 35 and i'm 28.he called her the other day because his mother, who was ill before, has gotten worse, and just needs someone to talk to. so, tonight, she's going to his place for dinner. their contact has been minimal, especially in the last 8 months or so, and all initiated by him.she told me about it and asked if it was ok, i said "yeah. what am i gonna do, tell you no?" hopefully expressing the slight displeasure that i feel about the situation, but left it at that. i plan to tell her later or tomorrow of the full extent of my bad feelings about this. i dont' want her to have to be thinking about that while she's out with him.am i off here or what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjkitten Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by entheogen808 quick background...my gf was with her ex for 7 years when i met her a year ago. we hung out for a month until he broke it off, and we've been together for a year now. they're both 35 and i'm 28.he called her the other day because his mother, who was ill before, has gotten worse, and just needs someone to talk to. so, tonight, she's going to his place for dinner. their contact has been minimal, especially in the last 8 months or so, and all initiated by him.she told me about it and asked if it was ok, i said "yeah. what am i gonna do, tell you no?" hopefully expressing the slight displeasure that i feel about the situation, but left it at that. i plan to tell her later or tomorrow of the full extent of my bad feelings about this. i dont' want her to have to be thinking about that while she's out with him.am i off here or what? It's instict to feel jealous when your current mate is talking to their ex's.But this isn't something trivial that he's calling about he may feel that she's the only one that he can talk to about his real feelings and someone that knows his mother well.I don't really see why she has to go to his place for dinner, maybe they should go out somewhere public or they can just talk over the phone.The dinner thing seems a little to intimate and it will prob. drive you nutsDo you think she can be trusted? and do you think your relationship means more to her than her previous one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted August 7 Author Report Share Posted August 7 yeah, i think she can be trusted, it's just that she's going over his house. if it were out somewhere else, i probably wouldn' tthink twice about it...i think i just needed to vent about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gager Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 On one hand if you trust her & your relationship is solid it should be no big deal, but I feel if their relationship is over & she is with you now she really should just say she is sorry to hear about his mother & if he wants to talk the phone is fine. There is no reason for her to go to his house for dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyarmani Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by gager On one hand if you trust her & your relationship is solid it should be no big deal, but I feel if their relationship is over & she is with you now she really should just say she is sorry to hear about his mother & if he wants to talk the phone is fine. There is no reason for her to go to his house for dinner. Exactly what i was thinking. Why the need for dinner? I only hope that she makes the right decision (wich is to forego the dinner) on her own; NOT because of "pressure" from you..Standing in front of the door saying"Dont, Dont, Doonnnnnttt GO" in a feminine voice is wrong on all acounts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by tommyarmani Exactly what i was thinking. Why the need for dinner? I only hope that she makes the right decision (wich is to forego the dinner) on her own; NOT because of "pressure" from you..Standing in front of the door saying"Dont, Dont, Doonnnnnttt GO" in a feminine voice is wrong on all acounts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigsteve8 Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Good chance he might be using this to get back with her, or at least take a chance with it. . . he's thinking he has nothing to lose, it's just a kid he's going against, he could maybe get her back. . . I'll put money on something like "Now that I've seen the frailty of life, I realize how short our time on this rock is, I'd love to spend it with someone I love, we were together for the longest time, why not try again?" etc. . . . watch you back kidddddd. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Have hard sex with her rigt before she goes out. Most women won't have sex with another guy while still sore from the first guy a couple hours before. It sounds nasty, but why take a chance? I had girlfriends do this to me, so I wouldn't cheat on them. Worked most of the time. Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted August 7 Author Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by bigsteve8 Good chance he might be using this to get back with her, or at least take a chance with it. . . he's thinking he has nothing to lose, it's just a kid he's going against, he could maybe get her back. . . I'll put money on something like "Now that I've seen the frailty of life, I realize how short our time on this rock is, I'd love to spend it with someone I love, we were together for the longest time, why not try again?" etc. . . . watch you back kidddddd. . . thanks...yeah, i know what i'm looking at...i don't think it's much of an issue, i keep her pretty happyand evan...i dont' have that opportunity, though she did suck my dick last night, i think as a sort of pre-emptive strike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gager Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 I think it is never a good idea for your girl to be hangin out alone with some guy who is obviously still in love with her or trying to get with her. If he was over her he would not even be calling her in this situation he would call someone else or not even be thinking about her. I think what BigSteve said is right on he is gonna try to get back with her (I think) or a least its a booty call. Watch it man! Its just not cool for her to hanging out with him no matter what the situation! Its not really a matter of trust it a matter of her having respect for the person your with. She would surely not be comfortable with you hanging with your Ex alone or some girl who she knows is after you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 but then again..she told you about it...she could have easily never brought it up..made an excuse..and had dinner with him without you knowing.....the fact that she told you means something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lustforyou Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Im sorry take it from a girl whos been there. I met up with one of my exs all the time to talk shit and catch up and when ever we go to his house or back to his house he ALWAYS puts the moves on me.. He doesn't care if i have a boyfriend at the time or not. They can have dinner in a public place we all know why men try and get woman back to there house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted August 7 Author Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by lustforyou Im sorry take it from a girl whos been there. I met up with one of my exs all the time to talk shit and catch up and when ever we go to his house or back to his house he ALWAYS puts the moves on me.. He doesn't care if i have a boyfriend at the time or not. They can have dinner in a public place we all know why men try and get woman back to there house. yeah, i'm giving her the free reign on this one, and talking about it tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gager Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by smokesum but then again..she told you about it...she could have easily never brought it up..made an excuse..and had dinner with him without you knowing.....the fact that she told you means something Right on!There you have it stright for a girl who has been in the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-luv Posted August 7 Report Share Posted August 7 Originally posted by bigsteve8 Good chance he might be using this to get back with her, or at least take a chance with it. . . he's thinking he has nothing to lose, it's just a kid he's going against, he could maybe get her back. . . I'll put money on something like "Now that I've seen the frailty of life, I realize how short our time on this rock is, I'd love to spend it with someone I love, we were together for the longest time, why not try again?" etc. . . . watch you back kidddddd. . . i agree....i am always sceptical about shit like this....u dont have to tell her not to go but def. mention why does it have to be dinner at his place...and tell her u trust her, but the situtation is a lil' weird for you...i go through shit like this sometimes...by BF hanging out with one of his ex-flings...it makes me nuts so i know how u feel...but i have learned that i cant tell him it makes me nuts cuz then he thinks i dont trust him....so instead of doing that i try to make him see it from my pt. of view...which is what i think you should do... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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