fkornre Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 How to tell if you're gay: > > >1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys, and rather you've been sucking-off- the boys, and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics & doing the Oprah diet. > >2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a dog, but gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. > >3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-legs, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and you're undeniably a fag. > >4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases. > >5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim," and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too. > >6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap, as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are aggadocious! > >7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for a meat-Popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-ass drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bi-atch in the passenger seat, (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone. > >8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in "S H C," (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. > > >So follow the rules and beware...or keep that shit to yourself, Faggo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatman Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felix_Leiter Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 if your name is fkornre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted September 24 Author Report Share Posted September 24 Originally posted by smokesum if your name is fkornre lmao... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 Originally posted by fkornre How to tell if you're gay: >4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases. >6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Codica3 Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomembername Posted September 24 Report Share Posted September 24 #9 - You have a picture of Mike Mussina in your sig where he is making a face like he is taking it in the ass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted September 25 Report Share Posted September 25 i bet you the guy who wrote that is some big burly fucker who is secretly gay... which regardless of the author is still friggin hilarious... i think atomicapples fits into all of those... lol... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-luv Posted September 25 Report Share Posted September 25 that was fucking HILARIOUS!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted September 25 Report Share Posted September 25 lmaoI am 0 for 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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