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Is it insain


notallthere666

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Originally posted by notallthere666

For a part of me to wish that something horrific would happen to me so I could just become emotionally dead and feel nothing? I always have the feeling of pending doom and the waiting is what is killing me.

welcome to the club...

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Its weird .. I cuased some pretty fucked up stuff for myself to go down about 2 weeks ago and I cant help to look back to then and think that at that moment the only thing I was worried about was the problem at hand and after I got through it I was so relieved to have gotten threw it that everything else seemed trivial. But now that it has passed the trivial things seem to be problems again. I guess its kinda like sitting around worrying about a bill then stabbing a knife through your hand. While that knife is in you all you will be thinking about is that pain and you will forget about everything else.

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It is very common for ppl to feel this way. Some ppl have to have problems and tragedy in their lives for just the reason you said.

When you are going through these hard times you feel like, if only I could just get through this everything would be fine, and for a while it is. then reality kicks back in and you realize nothing has changed and you are looking for the next problem to get through. Its like a drug, you feel so good when the problem is over but its temporary and its like coming down from a drug, when you do come down you can come down pretty hard, It can be a vecious cycle and hard to break.

Believe me lots of ppl feel that way sometimes.

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