noiseboy Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 thanks for sharing rabbit. . . HUGS FOR YOU!!! ------------------"The laughter was like a drug, but what was more like a drug was the drugs.""I need to go home.""You ARE home." -_Almost Famous_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANTONIOVILLA Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 I don't get it either but all you have to do is have faith........I'm a firm believer of what goes around comes around, and a perfect example is this.....Last year I was in a relationsship and I trusted her beyond belief.One day I'm in her house and she leaves her journal out in the open........I opened to the last page and discovered she was sleeping with her ex. The same person who had kicked her out on the street with no where to go when they were together........Fast forward to a year later this friday and she calls me crying and begging for me to take her back because she had made a mistake and she was miserable with him plus he hit her!!! Go figure?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Rabbitonacid: Yes, I have friends that went through that... but after the fact all you gotta do is surround yourself with peeps who got positive energy, self confidence with a little bit of self mockery to lighten things up for ya... Deprogramming from that sorta thing is hard to do... and friends that give you positive reiforcement to slowly build up your self esteem goes a great distance...Way to go girl... you did good. Hugs...From a dreamer that will never stop dreaming the good things for ya...------------------Dream a little dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Huh, never mind this post... kept hitting the wrong buttons today.------------------Dream a little dream...[This message has been edited by ezdreamer (edited 10-02-2000).][This message has been edited by ezdreamer (edited 10-02-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted October 2 Author Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by rabbitonacid:Women tend to go back to the ex boyfriends because its hard for them to let go. For example, I was dating someone for a long period of time. In the beginning, I had an extremely high self esteem and was incredibly friendly and loveable. After a while of being in this relationship, that was all taken away from me. My self worth was decreased. He made me feel as though I below even dirt. That by leaving him, I would be lonely and miserable and never find anyone to appreciate me. After hearing this for years, I believed it. I started to think I could do no better than him.He cheated on me...Time and time again. Made plans and broke them over and over again. He did everything in the book to hurt me and make me feel worthless. I would cry myself to sleep everynight. I wanted the pain to stop but I couldnt break away from him. Never had a smile on ,my face and was just scared. Scared that he was right. Going back was the only thing I felt I could do. Its hard giving someoen all of your love and then being treated as though it means nothing. Its even harder to be able to separate yourself from such an abusive relationship of sorts. But when you get to a point that your life isnt worth it anymore because of the horrible things said and done to you, then thats a sign. A big one. Its easy for everyone to tell you to not be with him because he doesnt love you, but its hard for you to see it yourself. Hence, you staying in the relationship. Everyone has their own reasons. Just discovering them is the hard part.[This message has been edited by rabbitonacid (edited 10-02-2000).]This what it sounds like she's going through. When she got dumped, I was there for her to talk to, cheer up...I don't understand how she could still be lonely.She told me last night they got back together, "worked everything out"... I told her you're making a mistake, only becuase she told me how much she crap she went through with this guy and everytime i saw her, she was depressed....and her answer for me telling me that it's a mistake was, "I know." WTF?! Thanks Rabbit, I appreciate the help. ------------------"I feel a great disturbance in the force...every single day." shadowchaser076@aol.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmgreenz Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Shadow, There is no challange for a woman if the guy is perfect and just what they're looking for. Where's the challange for them? You'd have a better shot if you were dysfunctional and she could take you on as a project to try and change. ;-) Originally posted by shadowchaser:Why doesn't a woman see a guy that she knows truly likes and cares for them deeply. They're on the same wavelength, have everything in common, makes them laugh...basically know each other inside out, what makes each other tick.....but yet they go back to a guy who's an asshole in every sense and treats like them crap. Could someone explain this to me if they know why. Maybe I'm just blind to see it or I should give up caring all together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by shadowchaser: This what it sounds like she's going through. When she got dumped, I was there for her to talk to, cheer up...I don't understand how she could still be lonely.She told me last night they got back together, "worked everything out"... I told her you're making a mistake, only becuase she told me how much she crap she went through with this guy and everytime i saw her, she was depressed....and her answer for me telling me that it's a mistake was, "I know." WTF?! Listen, let her make her own mistakes. Just be there for her whenever she needs you and even though you will feel like telling her "I TOLD YOU SO", don't say it. That's what makes a good friend. I've been in her place and trust me, it's really difficult to walk away because every time you go back, you think that this time it will work out. And if you don't give it a chance, then you'll be wondering for a long time what could have happened. That was the reason in my case, maybe she's thinking along the same lines.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbitonacid Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by dmgreenz:Shadow, There is no challange for a woman if the guy is perfect and just what they're looking for. Where's the challange for them? You'd have a better shot if you were dysfunctional and she could take you on as a project to try and change. ;-) Actually many women do go for the assholes with the thought of "challenge to change" in the back of their mind. I had the same perspective with my old beau. By time he was ready for the change, my heart died. It couldn't take the abuse anymore and all of the former lies and betrayal would not disappear. Many women are insecure that they stay with this assholes hoping..."He will see how great I am. He will find true love for me in his heart....I JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT TIME AND LET HIM BE THE ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW" Of course this never actually works and they continue to be hurt but its called REALITY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by rabbitonacid:Many women are insecure that they stay with this assholes hoping..."He will see how great I am. He will find true love for me in his heart....I JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT TIME AND LET HIM BE THE ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW" Of course this never actually works and they continue to be hurt but its called REALITY.Read my very first short explanation at the top of this post... it's an insanity plea... seriously... what was that case... the Hedda Nussbaum (sp?) or something... it happens too often... it's total brainwashing on the part of the assholes... I was dead serious when I said it's insanity...------------------Dream a little dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted October 2 Author Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by dmgreenz:Shadow, There is no challange for a woman if the guy is perfect and just what they're looking for. Where's the challange for them? You'd have a better shot if you were dysfunctional and she could take you on as a project to try and change. ;-)I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm waaaay beyond that. But for a girl looking for a dysfunctional guy and changing them, sounds retarded. ------------------"I feel a great disturbance in the force...every single day." shadowchaser076@aol.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by shadowchaser: I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm waaaay beyond that. But for a girl looking for a dysfunctional guy and changing them, sounds retarded. I'm a perfect dysfunctional guy...------------------Dream a little dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rally Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Shadow - forget it - you'll NEVER figure them out!they are the most fucked up creatures on this earth ... i gave up trying ... i suggest you do the same.just read some of the pathetic female responses in this thread and you'll see that there is NO fuckin way to comprehend their thought process!------------------Rallythere is an after-life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmgreenz Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 I don't think they go out and look for the dysfunctionals. But once they find them and get sucked in, it's hard for them to break out of it. it's like an emotional black hole.to keep working the car metaphor, how about this one. . . .you have a piece of shit car that's unreliable and lame, but for some reason, you keep sinking money into it. The next repair is the last one you'll need and after that, the car will ride like a dream afterwards. Yeah, right. it's hard for people to realize when they need to cut their losses and get out of a bad situation. Sometimes they think if they try just a little bit harder, they can take responsibility and make it work out. I think some women take way too much responsibility for failed relationships, even if it's not their fault at all. They somehow feel too responsible and keep trying. Originally posted by shadowchaser: I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm waaaay beyond that. But for a girl looking for a dysfunctional guy and changing them, sounds retarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted October 2 Author Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by mysteriousss: Listen, let her make her own mistakes. Just be there for her whenever she needs you and even though you will feel like telling her "I TOLD YOU SO", don't say it. That's what makes a good friend. I've been in her place and trust me, it's really difficult to walk away because every time you go back, you think that this time it will work out. And if you don't give it a chance, then you'll be wondering for a long time what could have happened. That was the reason in my case, maybe she's thinking along the same lines..Well, as being a friend to her, I did tell her "I TOLD YOU SO" 'cause she needed to hear it. Again...why on earth would you go back to an EX that treated you like dirt?? If it didn't work out the first time...why would it work the second time or a third time? DuH Rally, I haven't given up yet, I'm not up to that point yet, but close. I don't give up that easy.Women are like a jigsaw puzzle...you've got all the pieces except the one that completes it...usually that piece is hidden between the cushions of the couch.------------------"I feel a great disturbance in the force...every single day." shadowchaser076@aol.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted October 2 Report Share Posted October 2 Originally posted by rally2000:Shadow - forget it - you'll NEVER figure them out!they are the most fucked up creatures on this earth ... i gave up trying ... i suggest you do the same.just read some of the pathetic female responses in this thread and you'll see that there is NO fuckin way to comprehend their thought process!Wow, that was completely uncalled for. You shouldn't generalize like that, not to mention, insult every woman who just posted on this board.Fact is, every relationship leading up to "the one" is going to end. It may be a happy or sad occasion but it's all just a journey. There are things that will hurt you now that you will look back upon 5 yrs later and say, "Thank God I didn't stay in that situation" God knows I have!There's nothing you can do to change what is meant to happen in your life.As far as being able to understand women, you'll be able to understand one someday and maybe that one will be your mate. Until then keep the faith. And don't give up, yes it is a way to be certain of your future but do you want that future? Just keep being the good guy and it'll come back to you eventually! Feel better! ------------------ A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions.~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by shadowchaser:Women are like a jigsaw puzzle...you've got all the pieces except the one that completes it...usually that piece is hidden between the cushions of the couch.Actually it's hidden between your legs... j/k ------------------Dream a little dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowchaser Posted October 3 Author Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by ezdreamer: Actually it's hidden between your legs... j/k LMFAO!! ------------------"I feel a great disturbance in the force...every single day." shadowchaser076@aol.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artful Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 It's a shame you can't be like me Frank.. I got the built-in immunity to all that crap...If a chick starts acting stupid I just break the fuck out. 100% cold turkey.This one girl would always talk about her boyfriend... I wouldn't say shit.. just let her chat away.. People do this on ocassion.. but this was ridiculous... gave her a little while to realize what she was doing...that shit is such a turnoff..Then she just got cut-off.And yo, I know what I'm talking about when I say she was talking about her boyfriend too much.. anyone can waste their time trying to analyze that part (I got a feelin' it's gonna be someone), you can use your imagination for that... think of a frequency that would be totally intolerable for ya... and that's gonna be it...You know what... here's the deal Frank... pull out a calendar and set a date... set a date at which point she's cut off... no matter what happens, after this date she's not gonna be in your life in an intimate fashion, plain and simple... you could be friends if you want to be, or whatever, but it's never gonna be a relationship. At that date she had her chance and lost it...And remember, it's her loss. If she doesn't measure up, then she's not meant to be with you... Don't waste your time trying to improve her learning curve.. life's a pain enough as it is without wasting time on shit like that.Where's misskittie at? Didn't she post something about pimpin' her girlfriends..?Maybe she could hook you up with a nice flavor..------------------ <I'm a Fire-starter><Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!!> <I got the glow, baby!!Can ya feel it?!? Now back up and give me some dancin' room!!>--- When the Artful speaks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by artful:Where's misskittie at? Didn't she post something about pimpin' her girlfriends..?Maybe she could hook you up with a nice flavor..Yo Ill hook it up. Just gimme your requirements for a chicky and I will get! Im soo good at that! ------------------ There's an old Irish saying -- 'there are no strangers, just friends who haven't met' -- so, until we meet, may peace and plenty rain down upon your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 There ya go shadowcaster... you're set...------------------Dream a little dream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rally Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by cathyo: Wow, that was completely uncalled for. You shouldn't generalize like that, not to mention, insult every woman who just posted on this board.Fact is, every relationship leading up to "the one" is going to end. It may be a happy or sad occasion but it's all just a journey. There are things that will hurt you now that you will look back upon 5 yrs later and say, "Thank God I didn't stay in that situation" God knows I have!There's nothing you can do to change what is meant to happen in your life.As far as being able to understand women, you'll be able to understand one someday and maybe that one will be your mate. Until then keep the faith. And don't give up, yes it is a way to be certain of your future but do you want that future? Just keep being the good guy and it'll come back to you eventually! Feel better! OMG!!! this is exactly what i'm talking about - a typical female response ... outraged at my comment which was made to Shadow - partially in jestof course can't label every female (or maybe you can as evidenced by this thread)either way how is that insulting these women ... i just tell it like i see it ... most women make absolutely no sense when they get involved with "bad" guys ...go back and read some of those replies Cathyo - maybe you'll see what i mean ...oh wait - no you won't - you're a female - forget it!males and females are just too different------------------Rallythere is an after-life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ynicholas Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by rally2000:Shadow - forget it - you'll NEVER figure them out!they are the most fucked up creatures on this earth ... i gave up trying ... i suggest you do the same.just read some of the pathetic female responses in this thread and you'll see that there is NO fuckin way to comprehend their thought process!Rally...pathetic? pls share with us which responses were pathetic. See thats the problem. Both sexes throw their arms up at this situation. Lets pls remember that for every girl that "disses" you, you probably overlooked or payed absolutely no attention to the 50 other women that may have wanted to get with you. So lets remember no matter how may times this subject comes up, it goes both ways. And I dare you to say that this is a pathetic response b/c you know I am right. Jam ------------------...I can't see you, you can't see me! ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rally Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by jamjimvin: Rally...pathetic? pls share with us which responses were pathetic. See thats the problem. Both sexes throw their arms up at this situation. Lets pls remember that for every girl that "disses" you, you probably overlooked or payed absolutely no attention to the 50 other women that may have wanted to get with you. So lets remember no matter how may times this subject comes up, it goes both ways. And I dare you to say that this is a pathetic response b/c you know I am right. Jam sorry but i never disrespected a girl who showed interest in me - maybe i didn't want to be with her but i treated her with respect.woman have this thought process problem - i think it's their brain that short circuits when it comes to relationships.it's like a malfunctioning device in the female brain ... females need to be completely rewired IMO.Now don't get all crazy on me - this is just my opinion ... just like when i said the posts were pathetic - all i meant is that the female responses were lame as usual - IMO. JUST MY OPINION - nothing more.and i'm half kidding around just to get a rise out of you women ... so don't get too mad - ok.now - in all fairness - there are tons of terrible men out there too. I can't speak for them - all i know is that i'm a good guy and i've been burned 2x now - and i'm sick of it! lol------------------Rallythere is an after-life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ynicholas Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 Originally posted by rally2000: sorry but i never disrespected a girl who showed interest in me - maybe i didn't want to be with her but i treated her with respect.woman have this thought process problem - i think it's their brain that short circuits when it comes to relationships.it's like a malfunctioning device in the female brain ... females need to be completely rewired IMO.Now don't get all crazy on me - this is just my opinion ... just like when i said the posts were pathetic - all i meant is that the female responses were lame as usual - IMO. JUST MY OPINION - nothing more.and i'm half kidding around just to get a rise out of you women ... so don't get too mad - ok.now - in all fairness - there are tons of terrible men out there too. I can't speak for them - all i know is that i'm a good guy and i've been burned 2x now - and i'm sick of it! lolLMAO! I am a woman and Rally you are so right. Some women nowadays have a really messed up outlook on men (obviously goes both ways). I'm glad you didn't take my post the wrong way. I mean I have been burned more than once also so even though I haven't given up on men, I am still out there looking .Tons of ppl tell me, Y, you are so different from other girls out there, I can actually hold a conversation with you. And its true. If someone wants an opinion or advice on something, I am always there for my friends. I make it a point to get all weird and stuff and just be me. Maybe thats why not too many ppl are interested in me in a romantic way b/c I am too much of a good friend (booooo) to them. But I already know I can't get every guy I see out there so I work with the handful I got..hehe ~*Jam*~------------------...I can't see you, you can't see me! ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted October 3 Report Share Posted October 3 You know a lot of people seem to be caught up in the whole idea of finding that romantic partner now-a-days. Maybe if they stopped that and did start just merely looking for friends, that romantic interest would shine through clear as day.On the other hand, I could be totally wrong. It just seems to many people both young and older....more when they start to get older, put themselves in this mind set that they HAVE to FIND someone. Yet, by doing this they then loose the real purpose of having someone in their life to love and hold and have as a best friend. Im not blaming this on one sex either. It just came to mind by reading "Maybe thats why not too many ppl are interested in me in a romantic way b/c I am too much of a good friend (booooo) to them. " by Jamjimvin.Sorry if I fell astray from the original focus but that happens....------------------ There's an old Irish saying -- 'there are no strangers, just friends who haven't met' -- so, until we meet, may peace and plenty rain down upon your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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