Crackorn Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I guess the way a lot of us were brought up was to believe that eventually you HAD to get married and HAD to have kids. Who still feels this way? How many friends of mine felt they had to marry SOMEBODY once they hit 25 or 26? How many of them got married JUST to get married(and to shut their parents up, thank god mine aren't like that) and wound up divorced 2 years later? I used to want kids when I was younger and I guess it might be nice, but it's also a crapshoot. Now I don't think it would bother me much if I didn't even get married (I was engaged once, then dumped, long story, not getting into it for all of your sake). So , what's everyone's take on the whole married/kids deal? ------------------Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.Do what thou wilt. Aleister CrowleyAIM: crackorn71 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nlichau Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I'm in no rush. I am 26 years old and there is plenty time for all that. I'd like to be married and have kids, but it certainly is not a priority-and if it doesn't happen, believe me I won't be dissapointed!I am too busy being a kid myself now, and want to focus on ME.I'm sure eventually I'll be less selfish.But for now I love the fact all I really need to worry about it ME! ------------------The music makes the people come together... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncomodo Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I'm 27 yrs old. I don't plan on getting married or having kids. I told my parents and they respect by choice. Personally, I don't believe in being set up with anyone.I feel that If I'm going to meet someone I want it to happen on its own. I always knew that I didn't want kids ever. Not every person it meant to get married or be a parent. Most people feel that if don't get married or have kids they are a failure in life.I feel very strongly about this subject.Marriage isn't for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shannah Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 26 and not near ready for that kind of commitment. Every time I go back to my hometown, someone is getting married or having a kid. I've never quite gotten the whole 'rush to get married' thing. Then again most of these people go back to the place they grew up right after college and that's the only thing left to do.Luckily my parents aren't nags either. They let me live my own life, no pressure. They also know I'm in no hurry and are fine with it.Overall, I think this way of life (single/not married) is slowly becoming more accepted and hopefully won't be such an issue in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinedancer Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Uhmmm.... well, considering that my divorce is final on Monday....That says it all. After being married I can say that marriage isn't taken too seriously or respected much these days. I see so many people all around me who are living with someone or married and no one seems happy. I personally don't plan on getting married again and if I choose to have kids later on, I am fortunate enough that I can support them without having to get married!Just my opinion..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 i'm 32, single and loving every minute of it. i'm not going to look to get married and have kids just b/c society dictates that that's what we're supposed to do. if it happens it happens. if it doesn't it doesn't. i'm not so sure about kids anyway. they kind've get on my nerves right now. i think i'd be better off with a cute little puppy dog! ------------------ Boink like a bunny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Well . . .being that I'm no young chickie and that I've been around the block one too many time AND that I've FINALLY met the man of my dreams . . . I must admit the thought of marriage and kids is roaming around in my head a lot these days.I guess being engaged doesn't help either!!! hehehe. I want . . . err am going to be married and definately would want to have kids. However, if you were to ask me that two years ago then I would of said NO WAY to both. It's funny what love will do to you! BlueAngel------------------“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I’m 23 and my fiancé is 24. We’ll be getting married in June, but only because we are in love and very committed to each other. So no pressure from the parents in that department. But, on the other hand, we are getting a lot of pressure to have children. It seems strange because our parents got married young, had us right away and missed out on all the “fun”(I’d like to think) things. One would think that they would want us to take time, settle and enjoy life. I guess I’ll understand when I’m their age and my baby’s leaving home. ------------------Vision with action is a daydream; action without vision is a nightmare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myrlin Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Eventually, yes. When? WHo knows.I like to keep to my guns about when its gonna happen, it will. When that girl comes around who will knock me off my feet and fit me, it will happen.I am enjoying myself right now, and would like to have fun and when I least expect it, it will happen.....Just a romantics view------------------Myrlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I always wanted to get married, but it has to be at the right time in a person's life to be ready for marrige. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I think it all depends on WHEN or IF you meet the right person. Otherwise it all doesn't really matter.. Age has nothing to do with it although the younger ppl are, the more naive they are about believing that they are right for each other.. But def no rushing these things.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 when it happens, it'll happen. in the meantime, just have fun!!! dont rush into anything just because youre 'X' years old. AND make sure you make a wise choice in who you marry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copleyc Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 ..but the older you get the smaller the pool to choose from, and the greater the likelihood of meeting divorcee with kids and a lot of baggage....mmmm - so it looks like I'm happily staying a spinster of this parish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicole212 Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I'm holding out for crack. Nic212------------------The music was our teacher...The DJ was our preacher...Now tell me if I reach you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampienyc10 Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 It's difficult to find the perfect mate especially these days...I am in no rush to get married.....And even if I were to marry any time soon I want to have a couple of years with my mate to travel and experience new things together..then I'd like to have children..I love kids.. I've dreamt of my wedding day and having kids ever since I was a little girl....It's something I want but if it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be..I'm prepared for that....I am just taking things as they come.. It's the only way how if you want to stay sane....My parents would love for me to get married , ONE DAY but NOT any time soon that's for sure.. I am daddy' s little girl....My mom always tells me to live my life to it's fullest and have no regrets.....------------------AIM vampie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I'm in no rush to become married or have children nor do I believe that you should judge these things as "must-do" accomplishments in life...I don't know if I'll ever get married at this rate . I can't even get a "steady" ...~*Jam*~------------------Email: ynicholas@aol.comAIM: ynicholas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxyroxy20 Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 I definately want to get married and have kids, but only with the right person, I am not gonna rush into marriage, I am gonna make sure hes the one for me, well u can't tell how anyone is , lots of ppl are one way and then when u get married, u dont even recognize him anymore, thats scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Back in the day, when I pictured what my life would be like when I was 29, it consisted of me in the corner office, with the house, husband and maybe a kiddy.Now that I will be 29 a week from Sat (!), I can't imagine having that life. I believe that I still have some growing to do as a person, before I can make such a commitment. I feel that I am too selfish at this point in my life, to give my life up for children (although when I am ready, I know I will make a great Mommy).As the eldest of 5 children, with my youngest brother being 8 y.o., I do understand and appreciate the great gift children are, and how they can make you see life through a whole new set of eyes. Also being a child who was raised by a single parent for a number of years, I also understand how important it is to have both parents in one's life. I think I do want to have children at some point in my life. But I would want to have children with a life partner, on whom I could depend to share the responsibility, even if we did not work out romantically.------------------ Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
translucent Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Marriage is something that's nothing more than a business contract notarized at City Hall. If you're with the RIGHT person, that piece of paper shouldn't make much difference, other that make it easier for you to get better health insurance or a decent rate on a mortgage.Unfortunately, many people are herded through life by society as if they were sheep. Let's face it, there are two established patterns out there:1) high school -> job -> marriage -> kids2) high school -> college -> job -> marriage -> kidsAs soon as people get into their career track, they start to lose sense of who they are and conform to the company/industry culture. They go through life wearing a business mask. People go from being surrounded by fun-loving peers in school to being surrounded by older, married coworkers. There is some sort of corporate bias against unmarried people, as if they're not truly grownups yet.When out of the workplace, people are faced with the ulterior motives of family and friends. Some traditional parents press for marriage because by a certain age it's the "proper" thing to do. They want to be able to brag to their friends about the successes of their kids. Other parents push for marriage because it traditionally leads to grandchildren. Some parents want grandchildren so that they would get another chance at all the fun of parenting (minus the work) or even subconsciously because they want your fun over as early as theirs was.Friends don't help either. Many of them have succumbed to the same pressures and settled down. Let's face it, once you get married and have kids your priorities change a little. It's only natural to want to share common experiences through friendship.All of these factors (and a whole bunch of others) train people to adher to the usual life path. Some people grow up with a predetermined notion of "exactly" how their life will turn out. When people start to deviate from the path, society and they themselves create guilt and anxiety over the deviation. This leads to loneliness and desperation, which leads to settling and unhappy lives.Should we all buck society and hold out until we meet our true soulmate? Probably not.I believe that we all have at least one soulmate out there somewhere. Nevertheless, the chances of ever meeting that person and that he/she would be as ready as you are are slim. The length of time that one should hold out for and keep searching is only dependent on one's self esteem and sense of realism. Eventually most people will need a companion. The trick is to find someone with the maximum amount of qualities that you like within a period of time that you're comfortable with (I know...stating the obvious).Perhaps the only real reason to hurry with kids is the medical one. Let's face it, the older that a woman gets, the more difficult the birth process and the more likely that there might be defects or complications. Fortunately, with today's medicine the safe age range is increasing.Personally, I'm 29 and was EXTREMELY lucky to find my soulmate five years ago. We're happily married (cheaper health/car insurance) and will probably have kids in a few years (because WE want to). Till then...pass the X and see you at the clubs!P.S.Sorry for such a long post (seemed like the topic was deep enough). ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackorn Posted November 29 Author Report Share Posted November 29 Originally posted by nicole212:I'm holding out for crack. Does this mean we have to raise our children in the good ol communist fashion? If so, your wait is over!------------------Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.Do what thou wilt. Aleister CrowleyAIM: crackorn71 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crookedcorn Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Crack, I'm not sure if I've told you this yet, but I think you're a communist and a whore. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chick Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Oh Choon, You Know Me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugar_n_spice Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 marriage....yes one day when im mentally,financially,emotionally ready yes. kids.............no way!!! not having them ever. some ppl should never be parents and im one of them. i can't even take care of 2 fish ( forgot to feed 'em) never mind a child. they don't fit into my "lifestyle" then again at 21 who thinks about havin kids? then again to each their own. ------------------" Life is like a melody, only the lyrics are messed up" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 Marriage and kids... that would be nice. For some of us, like myself... it seems like a far away dream... almost within grasp... but you always let it slip away without knowing. And that's the sad part about it.You find it, grab on for dear life, cause nothing else really matters... just a little happiness is what every one of us wants...Isn't that the point why some of us roll?------------------Dream a little dream... then go clubbing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugar_n_spice Posted November 29 Report Share Posted November 29 marriage....yes one day when im mentally,financially,emotionally ready yes. kids.............no way!!! not having them ever. some ppl should never be parents and im one of them. i can't even take care of 2 fish ( forgot to feed 'em) never mind a child. they don't fit into my "lifestyle" then again at 21 who thinks about havin kids? then again to each their own. ------------------" Life is like a melody, only the lyrics are messed up" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.