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The world has a NEW POPE!!

digitalphoenix

By digitalphoenix
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djkable Newbie

djkable

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New Pope Recognizes 420!

-dj:kable

17206738.jpg

As a swelling crowd stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the slim pipe atop the Sistine Chapel on Tuesday, faint splashes of smoke became a river. It was thick, steady and —white.

The crowd reacts as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger appears on the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica as Pope Benedict XVI, packing a fresh one, premature to the widespread celebration of April 20th.

Surely, this meant the world had a new pope. Or did it? Hopes had been dashed before.

The previous two fumate, or burnings of the cardinals' voting ballots, late Monday and at noon Tuesday, started out white, spurring shouts of joy, "smoke 'em if you got 'em!". Then, about 30 seconds later, those streams became irrefutably black. Rumors quickly spread that Cardinal Medina Estevez of Chile accidentally left his Hot Pockets burning in the oven again.

Despite giant television screens featuring close-ups of the famous chimney, those gathered in St. Peter's Square were reduced to the same squinty-eyed guessing game practiced by crowds for centuries. Or was the squinting just more premature celebrating of widely recognized 4/20?

The people who gathered just before 6 p.m. local time Tuesday knew to be cautious. Fingers laced together in prayer, Sister Lubelia Tabeu of East Timor waited. And waited. When enough heartbeats slipped by, and after carefully scanning the crowd for polizia, she sparked up a fatty that even Tommy Chong and his counterpart Cheech would revere in the sight of.

"E bianco, it's really white," she screamed, jumping on a flimsy plastic chair a few rows back from the worn white steps leading up to St. Peter's Basilica.

She beamed at her fellow Silesian Sisters: "Viva il papa...puff, puff, pass, bitches!"

Minutes later, the giant bells of St. Peter's rang, confirming what everyone knew. Cardinal Estevez was a little "crispy on the edges" as they say, once again...reports of Estevez ringing the bells, giggling to himself, and falling on his ass quickly spread.

Excited chatter and spontaneous hymns vanished like a snuffed-out candle when Cardinal Medina Estevez announced "Habemus papam" — "we have a dope....errr, we have a pope!" — and introduced Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, Pope Benedict XVI.

The crowd exploded. Priests. Nuns. The elderly. Children. Catholics. Non-Catholics. A sea of young people started chanting the new pope's name while sweet sounds of "lighting up" in celebration resounded. Delirium reigned. The gathering became part sporting event, part rock concert, part sacred moment.

Perhaps it was out of respect for the new pontiff's first moment under history's spotlight. Or maybe it was just an understandably partisan crowd. Either way, there was nary a critical word about the new leader from the revelers. Just the cacophony of lighters flicking, coughing, and voice-driven rumbles which most likely included, "hey, that's not a mic, pass it", "dude, you rolled it too tight", and "'dat shit's dank as fook!"...

Many applauded the selection of a man who was so close to his predecessor, John Paul II. Others felt the former cardinal's Teutonic roots would help him guide the church with a firm hand. "He is strong, yes, but that's OK because you must be able to take a clear position as pope...and besides, he gets the best krippy this side of the Vatty," said Christian Baron of Schwabisch Gmund, Germany, who was waving a massive "Legalize It!" flag.

"It's important that he is a good pope most of all," he said. "But a German pope, well, it's a dream. I think I will make a party tonight....at midnight, of course. And then hopefuly, we can all stay awake until 4:20am."

----

original source: USA Today

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raincry Newbie

raincry

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Note: his father was a "determined anti-nazi..."

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/world/story/B54FF4731E327DAD86256FE9001A4F50?OpenDocument

it really doesn't matter.....the fact that he was Pope John Paul, II's right hand man is enough for me. i'm not even catholic but i'd rather have ratzinger than any one of the other cardinals become the new pope for that reason alone....and i'm sure JP would have been very happy with the decision...

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macboy Newbie

macboy

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Note: his father was a "determined anti-nazi..."

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/world/story/B54FF4731E327DAD86256FE9001A4F50?OpenDocument

it really doesn't matter.....the fact that he was Pope John Paul, II's right hand man is enough for me. i'm not even catholic but i'd rather have ratzinger than any one of the other cardinals become the new pope for that reason alone....and i'm sure JP would have been very happy with the decision...

Thanks for the link. :)

I'm not troubled by his past at all. I wish him well.

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obby Newbie

obby

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I hope this new pope gets the church updated and current so that it can serve our modern world better...or else, it's just an irrelevant ancient ritual and we shouldn't waste our times and minds on it.

:)

In which way? Elaborate please. What do you think needs to be changed?

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sotuchick Newbie

sotuchick

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Digital!

Nothing against your post ok!

Now, I don't give a square fuck whether we have a Pope or not, I don't think is gonna make me sleep any better at night knowing we have a German Pope.

I believe that the title "Pope" is something created by politics within the church system. I would like to know what makes a Pope so special? so much to the point that other bishops can never make it to such high position.

I personally believe in God, but I worship him my own way. I don't go to church and I feel perfectly fine, I talk to God every night he sure listens to me his church is my soul.

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funketeer Newbie

funketeer

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In which way? Elaborate please. What do you think needs to be changed?

Bro, you are a smart guy, let's not play games...you don't think the catholic church needs toi change in order to serve better on the 21st??? You gotta be kidding!

I think church should have more of a political weight when it comes to hunger, famine and war...enough of senile condemnations that make tyrants laugh until they wet their pants.

Don't include on your sunday sermon a condemnation of abuse, get on a plane and face the perpetrators...Popes are like kings, oh so dettached from the real problems...all the way over there in Rome...the whole idea of traveling and taking the message of love and peace all over the world is as exhagerated as the message itself, not real...good intentions but not necessarily able to achieve anything...

when was the last time you heard anyone say "Oh...because of the catholic church work, hunger in Uganda has ceased" ---> Nope

How about priests involved in child molestation cases that didn't serve time in jail, I watched the other day on cnn that an american priest that had molested a child was promoted and moved to Rome to serve in the vatican...instead of a promotion he should've gotten his dick chopped, I say.

Church is perfect, everything you hear is true...believe, believe, believe. :)

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digitalphoenix Newbie

digitalphoenix

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Digital!

Nothing against your post ok!

Now, I don't give a square fuck whether we have a Pope or not, I don't think is gonna make me sleep any better at night knowing we have a German Pope.

I believe that the title "Pope" is something created by politics within the church system. I would like to know what makes a Pope so special? so much to the point that other bishops can never make it to such high position.

I personally believe in God, but I worship him my own way. I don't go to church and I feel perfectly fine, I talk to God every night he sure listens to me his church is my soul.

I dont expect you to understand.

I am catholic and even though not devoted ('cos like u I dont attend church every Sunday) I do have that religion backbone.

Sure, it's not gonna make me any richer or poorer...but it's a moment in

history that has been making its way through hundreds of years, and if

you were to know the background of such....you too would be excited.

The way I see it:

I may actually enlighten someones dumb azz thru my posts.

Now, where's my Corona? :D

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obby Newbie

obby

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Bro, you are a smart guy, let's not play games...you don't think the catholic church needs toi change in order to serve better on the 21st??? You gotta be kidding!

I think church should have more of a political weight when it comes to hunger, famine and war...enough of senile condemnations that make tyrants laugh until they wet their pants.

Don't include on your sunday sermon a condemnation of abuse, get on a plane and face the perpetrators...Popes are like kings, oh so dettached from the real problems...all the way over there in Rome...the whole idea of traveling and taking the message of love and peace all over the world is as exhagerated as the message itself, not real...good intentions but not necessarily able to achieve anything...

when was the last time you heard anyone say "Oh...because of the catholic church work, hunger in Uganda has ceased" ---> Nope

How about priests involved in child molestation cases that didn't serve time in jail, I watched the other day on cnn that an american priest that had molested a child was promoted and moved to Rome to serve in the vatican...instead of a promotion he should've gotten his dick chopped, I say.

Church is perfect, everything you hear is true...believe, believe, believe. :)

No I don't think they need to change. Remember that the Catholic religion is a belief. If you do not believe in what they stand for then you have the option to not follow the Catholic religion. As for them taking a bigger stand against poverty..........I would think they are one of the biggest to do so right next to the USA. Remember that Catholics believe that if God gives you, you in turn must give to others. I personally remember my Mom going through some hard times here in the states and guess who was here to help educate her kids at no cost? The Catholic church ! Yes I went to private catholic school FOR FREE at an early age of my life. So as for them taking a bigger stand in helping reduce poverty I would have to disagree with you. They do ALLOT already. Can they do better? of course. Everyone can always do better! The reason I asked you what change you want is because I know that the majority of the changes being requested have been because the Vatican has been uncompromising in its opposition to ordaining women, homosexuality and lifting the celibacy requirement for priests. Ratzinger opposed allowing remarried Catholics to receive Communion and told American bishops that it was appropriate to deny Communion to those who support a “manifest grave sin†such as abortion and euthanasia. Those policies will continue under Benedict XVI as they did under JP II. When people say that the Church should change it's way I can only assume that they are referring to what I mentioned above which is why I asked which one in specific you believe in. Remember bro, I was raised a Catholic but I do not practice it on a daily basis. As a matter of fact I live in sin every day but deep down inside I belive what they stand for. "Si Dios te da tu tienes que dar".

On another note. That picture above this post is funny !!!!!! They do look alike.

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funketeer Newbie

funketeer

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No I don't think they need to change. Remember that the Catholic religion is a belief. If you do not believe in what they stand for then you have the option to not follow the Catholic religion. As for them taking a bigger stand against poverty..........I would think they are one of the biggest to do so right next to the USA. Remember that Catholics believe that if God gives you, you in turn must give to others. I personally remember my Mom going through some hard times here in the states and guess who was here to help educate her kids at no cost? The Catholic church ! Yes I went to private catholic school FOR FREE at an early age of my life. So as for them taking a bigger stand in helping reduce poverty I would have to disagree with you. They do ALLOT already. Can they do better? of course. Everyone can always do better! The reason I asked you what change you want is because I know that the majority of the changes being requested have been because the Vatican has been uncompromising in its opposition to ordaining women, homosexuality and lifting the celibacy requirement for priests. Ratzinger opposed allowing remarried Catholics to receive Communion and told American bishops that it was appropriate to deny Communion to those who support a “manifest grave sin†such as abortion and euthanasia. Those policies will continue under Benedict XVI as they did under JP II. When people say that the Church should change it's way I can only assume that they are referring to what I mentioned above which is why I asked which one in specific you believe in. Remember bro, I was raised a Catholic but I do not practice it on a daily basis. As a matter of fact I live in sin every day but deep down inside I belive what they stand for. "Si Dios te da tu tienes que dar".

On another note. That picture above this post is funny !!!!!! They do look alike.

OK, ok, ok...I'm not an atheus, I was raised catholic too...I was a child, I didn't have an option...my family wasn't very religious and for that I thank God every day. One thing is religion and another is church...your beliefs are your beliefs, what real life people do or not do in the name of God is a different story.

If this is your creed --> "Si Dios te da tu tienes que dar".

we agree on the most important part

peace

Funk

ps. religion is the suckiest most annoying subject anyone can ever get into... :vomit2:

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funketeer Newbie

funketeer

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OK, ok, ok...I'm not an atheus, I was raised catholic too...I was a child, I didn't have an option...my family wasn't very religious and for that I thank God every day. One thing is religion and another is church...your beliefs are your beliefs, what real life people do or not do in the name of God is a different story.

If this is your creed --> "Si Dios te da tu tienes que dar".

we agree on the most important part

peace

Funk

ps. religion is the suckiest most annoying subject anyone can ever get into... :vomit2:

what up with this rep point -->

04-20-2005 05:13 PM THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY

whatevahhhh!!!

I do have something to say...religion is a very controversial subject and evryone is free to believe in whatever their grandmas feed them with cookies and milk...good grief!

:type:

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