Miami Tips???

[djmonicas]

i was bored and made a miami tips list for my blizzog. any one have any more ideas i should add?

if you have never gone for the conference.....go!

cheap airare

www.jetblue.com

getting around the conference cheap, safe and sexy...

1. try to sneak in alcohol or beer everywhere you go. this takes dedication and skill!

2. split a hotel room with 4 people (you will never be there anyway but to shower) make sure you do not share a room with sluts. there is nothing worse than coming into the room wasted at 7 am to find a prostitute in your bed with all of your belongings!

3. sleeping on the beach is fun, sobering up in the ocean is dangerous but fun. dont be stupid and go to the beach drunk and swimming alone.

4. get a hotel room with a fridge to save on food money. theres a BANGIN cheap spanish place open all night on 6th and collins i beleive, "las papas fritas" means french fries, thats all youll need to know

5. only drink beer if you have to buy drinks and always inquire of the prices before buying. men i know you will be busy staring at the bartenders masterfully crafted fake breasts, but this is a trick!!!! the fake nipples have a sensor which will get you to buy stupid shit! dont do it! keep those eyes up and keep the spending low dumbass!

6. DO NOT stay in the sun too long, i say this every year and every year i fuck up, last year i got sun poisioning and was out of commision for a night, i had the shakes from lack of alcohol so bad i almost died. miami sun is strong as shit! way stronger than grace jones! so use sunblock. im half black and i got burned! BAD!

7. DONT BUY ANYONE SHIT EXCEPT ME!!! i dont care how hot and easy she "seems" you will easily spend $500 a night on drinks if you arent careful and are buying for 2. sneak in some liquor like i told you before dumbass and buy her ass a coke and fill it with the jauquins rum you snuck into the venue. you cant lose!

8. cant get into the club? i dont have this problem but if you do, try and buy a bottle or tell the bouncers you slept with paris hilton or something. getting to the club early sucks because youre drunk earlier, but if you know the event will go capacity go early and see what the re entry policy is to get back into the club. maybe you can disco nap before you go back, and skip the long lines.

9. a good trick i heard was to make fake buisiness cards saying you work for sony or aol or something. you wont pay a cover anywhere and assholes will buy you drinks all night thinking you will release the stupid madonna remix they did. also be on the lookout for fake cards, they are everywhere, make sure you know your logos and if you are truly connected or knowledgeable youll be able to cross reference contacts easily.

10. DONT EXPECT TO GET ANY WORK DONE! dont think youre going to go down there and be a star, everyone is too drunk and fucked up trying to get ass than to hear your pathetic pleas about how you once mixed donna summer with sting for 2 whole minutes. come prepared but dont even try and dont feel bad when you dont cause you wont.

11. hotel roomates, dude choose them wisely, you will regret it if you dont. and always have a backup plan. ive been lucky to have the same one for 3 years!

12. as far as hotels and airfare goes book NOW! like right now. the longer you procrastinate the more it will cost you. be VERY careful ordering tickets from discount web sites ive heard horror stories about people getting stranded and screwed. driving is another option but i dont reccomend it. who wants to drive a car with that much booze running through you?

13. parties are rough. most of the time you dont know what day or time it is because you are too drunk. so plan wisely and check the m3 masterlist for free events and invite only shite. search your ass off for open bars and booze giveaways. and make sure to sign up all of your friends for invite only lists because there is NO BS at the door to most of these events. they are well organized and they dont give a shit who you are in town A or city B, in miami you are a dollar sign plain and simple.

14. dont piss off the bouncers. they dont like it. dont piss off the bartenders they dont make the prices and they dont give a fuck if it costs too much.

15. if the bar is packed get your drink and step the hell away from the bar so i can get mine. once again i know the titties are magnetic, but get your drink and get out.

16. CREDIT CARD PURCHASES!!!! this is important. always carry cash on you. if you have a tab at the bar most of the clubs charge a credit card fee or automatic gratuity so you will pay more using plastic. cash is good to use so you can limit your spending while drunk. if you have to use the card ALWAYS ask if there are fees or gratuity included. and leaving it at the bar drunk is not fun.

17. hotel room parties. make sure you get the vibe of the hotel before throwing a 70 person drink a thon. some smaller hotels might get a little pissed if they see naked midgets running out of your room smoking weed naked singing stevie wonder. it happens

18. tittes!!!! once again watch your ass. girls dont like to pay for shit! we know you will do it for us! be careful! but if you see me buy me shit. thats the only exception.

19. getting work done? its best to get work done at day parties if you must. you arent drunk as shit and falling all over everyone and it sucks carrying around 500 cds to pass out. its better to get a free website http://themonicashow.tripod.com and put your music on there and pass out a cheap card www.vistaprint.com and give them away like hot cakes

20. packing bring an extra set of contacts if you wear the,. ive lost a couple in the ocean. and dont forget sunblock and shite. if you smoke buy tons of cigarettes they are expensive as shit in miami. i think about $8 a pack or so. (same as ny) be prepared.

21. on the plizzane. i always book my flight early in the morning so i can sleep on the beach with my luggage until my hotel room is avail. always take some kind of vitamin or supplement so you dont get sick on the plane. its happened to me every year. promoting your shit in the airport is the best. you arent hungover and looking like total shit yet and there are promoters and djs everywhere. make sure you get drunk before you get on the plane too, there are fucking kids everywhere crying and farting and shit, its better to be drunk and sleeping

22. when booking flights try and book your seats closest to the front of the plane. if the flight is overbooked you will be more likely to get a seat or get bumped to first class. and it takes a shorter time to get on and off of the plane, and beleive me when you return home youre going to want to get off of that plane pretty fucking quick.

23. luggage. always bring your records on board with you. ALWAYS. its one thing to lose clothes and deodarant, but if you have gigs there losing your records is a huge setback and costly. and fuck flight cases they are annoying get a good bag with wheels and tons of pockets to sneak booze on to the plane.

24. dont waste time! book your shit now and get your promotional items in order. theres nothing worse than getting cds in miami with no contact information on them or where the insert is cut out of a wheaties box. get that shit done. my first year i handwrote cards! HANDWRITTEN CARDS! love it.

25. DONT BE A DUMBASS. if you are wasted, like really wasted go back to your hotel. i always see people try and push it and pass out or get robbed or arrested. they are dumbasses. usually in miami i drink from noon till 6am or later, this is accomplished with a fast metabolism and by pacing myself and drinking lots of water. YOUR BODY CAN ONLY PROCESS ONE ALCOHOLIC DRINK PER HOUR! remember this. learn it. love it. live it. eat shitloads and drink water and you might be able to hang with the big dogs for once. miami is hot as shit if you are dehydreated (alcohol) and dancing you are very likely to "get fucked up"

26. hey laaadies. watch your fucking drinks like a hawk. buying beer rocks cause its cheap and also harder for someone to drop a pill into. im an alcoholic and dont like drugs but if you do again watch your ass and know your limits and who you get it from. theres nothing sadder than seeing a hot girl on the ground with her skirt over her head fucked up and every guy in the club jumping at the chance to 'walk her home' DONT BE A DUMBASS!

27. Stilettos. girls bring shitloads of band aids. when colllins, ocean, and washington ave are packed you are going to walk. and i dont know about you but ill suffer for heels. by the last day your feet will look like paris hiltons face all red and pussy. bring tons of band aids and aloe and shit. and rent a scooter if you can.

28. what happens in miami stays in miami. thats total bullshit. if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and youre planning on cheating youre an asshole. dont be stupid. i doubt the chick who doesnt speak english is going to want to meet mom and dad and clean up your drunk puke every weekend. jesus would want you to be faithfull dude/chica. totally.

29. dont be scuuured. you dont have to be a dj or stripper to enjoy miami. people are really friendly and into all kinds of music and people go from all over the world. its a really kick ass time and everyone knows miami is an alcoholics disneyland only secondly to nyc. if you do decide to go to miami make sure you hit me up on myspace and buy me some drinks! =) www.myspace.com/monicasharp

[bbreaksbeats]

LOL damn this post was so good I just had to reply to bump this to the top hahaha , everyone read the above, its the next best thing to reading the PRoverbs in the bible LOL

[wavewhore]

LOL!!! That's some wicked funny shit!!!

[freshl7freshl7]

Perfect!!

[sweetimperfctn]

Girl that is great info!!!! Love it! Thanks so much for writing all that!! This will be my first year so I need AALLLLLL the help/suggestions/tips that I can get!!!

[brockoli]

Here are my best tips:

Dress comfortable (dress codes go out the window during WMC)

Hit the smaller parties, and bounce around to get a good mix of the musical diversity that only comes once a year in the states

Bring plenty of cash

[csid]

Thanks for the tips!! Also my first WMC... can't wait!

[brockoli]

Also, another reason to hit the smaller parties is to avoid the mayhem at the door. Alot of these parties are free or reduced with a guestlist. On the other hand, you can bank on Space being $60 - $120 some nights just to get in . . . if you ever do. Most places are going to be first come-first in, so don't bother. And for god sakes, DON'T buy a table or bottle service . . . It's a waste of time and money here just like it is most everywhere else. Like I said before, hit a bunch of smaller venues in one night and educate yourself and have fun at the same time. If don't come to Miami often, I would recommend hitting up Space, "the new Crobar", or Mansion one night if you want, but to do the same thing every night is lame.

[djmonicas]

Also, another reason to hit the smaller parties is to avoid the mayhem at the door. Alot of these parties are free or reduced with a guestlist. On the other hand, you can bank on Space being $60 - $120 some nights just to get in . . . if you ever do. Most places are going to be first come-first in, so don't bother. And for god sakes, DON'T buy a table or bottle service . . . It's a waste of time and money here just like it is most everywhere else. Like I said before, hit a bunch of smaller venues in one night and educate yourself and have fun at the same time. If don't come to Miami often, I would recommend hitting up Space, "the new Crobar", or Mansion one night if you want, but to do the same thing every night is lame.

i agree. the smaller parties are usually more intimate and you have a better chance of actually getting to meet people instead of just throwing up on them. the big parties are rediculously over priced and you can easily spend 500 or 600 on door charge and booze.

[joedrust]

These smaller venues that your speaking of? What ones do you reccomend? I made a thread about this on the main page and no one really got it. Some one posted a flyer for global gathering?!? I Assume they misread.

Any smaller venues that you would recomend? Who played at them last year? (not always looking for the biggest headliners here) We will be down from sat the 18 to mon the 27th. Im not really looking for specific events here as I know they may not be confirmed but more so what places are worth checking out? Which clubs are almost worth randomly walking into(randomly used carefully though)? Were mostly into house, prog, tribal, electro etc.

[djmonicas]

i looooved amika last year, its really not that small but its more of an intimate setting. i went there to see bugz in the attic last year and had a blast (aside from the $9 heinekens)

These smaller venues that your speaking of? What ones do you reccomend? I made a thread about this on the main page and no one really got it. Some one posted a flyer for global gathering?!? I Assume they misread.

Any smaller venues that you would recomend? Who played at them last year? (not always looking for the biggest headliners here) We will be down from sat the 18 to mon the 27th. Im not really looking for specific events here as I know they may not be confirmed but more so what places are worth checking out? Which clubs are almost worth randomly walking into(randomly used carefully though)? Were mostly into house, prog, tribal, electro etc.

[brockoli]

Remember that nearly every venue has something going on every night of conference . . . Last year, we hit up a couple parties at Amika, Jazid, Blue and those types of venues, and came across some hotel penthouse parties (Free Kaskade Party at the Remix hotel was awesome). There's alot out there . . . do some research, keep an eye on www.m3masterlist.com, and ask around when you get here!

[djmonicas]

the kaskade party was nuts last year!