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What do you do when your boyfriend breaks up w/ you after 5 1/2 yrs????

Guest chinagirl

By Guest chinagirl
in New York / New Jersey

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jdogg Newbie

jdogg

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It is a hard thing...but be glad that it was a BF and not a husband...that makes it oh-so-much worse...

5-1/2 years is a lot of our lives (at our age) so no one can belittle your investment. Just make sure you remember that you are still the same person you have been. You did not change. You can and still will find other people. The best thing to do now is to enjoy yourself, hang with friends and don't try to jump back into something because it was comfortable.

Challenge yourself to enjoy being single. Allow yourself to flirt a little. Shut down the guy that hits on you. Have fun.

Show up tonight if you can...

JDogg

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Corporate Tool

North Jersey

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misskittie Newbie

misskittie

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Let out one REALLY good final cry. Make it an hour, 2 hours, maybe even 10 hours straight but let it out. While crying think about everything that happened. Start out with the good, then end with the bad. By time your cry is over, you will feel refreshed and clear. Start thinking about YOU! Make yourself your main priority. Do some cleaning, keep yourself busy, maybe even improve your physical health to start making yourself feel better. Soon enough everything will be fine. Go out with your girlfriends and do some new things. Try something you have never done before and always wanted to but just couldnt for some reason. My boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years. I did everything in my power to keep my sanity. I devoted more time to my family and friends and they made me forget about everything. Being around those whom you love helps tremendously.

It will be hard at first but in a month or so you should be fine. Be strong honey and smile! It can oly get better.

Good Luck!!!! smile.gif

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~*~* Women beat their men~*~*~The men beat on their drums~*~*

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krakhed Newbie

krakhed

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Chinagirl...

my broken heart is with you...my girl just dumped me because she's "not over her ex". Did I say her jobless, cheating, impregnating, loser ex...oops. Anyway...take a little time for yourself and look at the big picture...you're a young, pretty girl, with planty of friends out here. It hurts, but you'll get over it.

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emo Newbie

emo

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So much to do today:

kill memory, kill pain,

turn heart into stone,

and yet prepare to live again.

-- Anna Akhmatova, From the collection of poems published as You Will Hear Thunder

I think that says it all. By the way, I also had a girlfriend for about 5 years total (we lived together for 2 of those years). We broke up because of 'irreconcilable' differences. It's now been roughly 2 years and I'm just now starting to feel capable of falling in love again.

Good Luck - I know what you're going through...

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When it won't help to slow down...PoUr iT oN!!

[This message has been edited by emo (edited 08-17-2000).]

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blueangel Newbie

blueangel

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I was dating this guy for four years . . . we were actually engaged and we end breaking up.

You have to do a lot of soul searching . . . it's not even an option, it just happens. TRUST ME! But the while you're doing some soul searching the most important thing is to remember your friends. Seek out your friends and they will help you through this. Mine did. Go out, travel, meet new people . . . and do all the things that you didn't do cause your other half wasn't into it. I know there has to be some things that you just kicked to the side cause he didn't like it. DO IT ALL!!

Most importantly, do try to stay away from jumping into another relationship . . . you'll probably end up hearting another innocent soul and become more bitter and cold yourself. You don't want that, TRUST ME. By all means, I'm not saying stop from having sex . . . go find a hunk and screw your brains out. However, try to stay away from the games of the heart . . . at least until your soul searching is over. Just my advice.

BlueAngel

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"Rehab is for quitters!"

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Guest chinagirl

Guest chinagirl

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Posted

thank you guys so much. We broke up last night, he just does not want this relation ship anymore and thats that, he does not want to be with me anymore. how much does that suck, its something that i think should not happen when your together so long. sometimes i fell like he is talking to another girl, not fooling around or anything just talking, but maybe not. i guess he is just tired of me.

emo thanks for the picture that was cool.

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rims Newbie

rims

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chinagirl how old are you ...how old is he....don't worry he'll come back...let him play the field a little bit a soon as he gets bored with it..hell come back...trust me

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Don't Do it Later..Do It Now!

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princesssnj Newbie

princesssnj

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go out as much as possible...meet lots of people...spend time with your girlfriends...go shopping...do as much as you can to keep your mind off him and before you know it youll be having soo much fun youll be over it....believe me i know smile.gif

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HOUSE MUSiC ALL NIGHT LONG..YA HEARD

ITALiANS DO EVERYTHiNG BETTER!!!

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emo Newbie

emo

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If you just broke up last night then you really have a long ways to go. When you are with someone for that long, you can't just end the relationship like "that". You will probably get back together at least once and sleep together 3 or 4 more times.

I think you only really get over the person when you have another major change in your life. In my case, I moved to Brazil for a year. (Already planned as a junior year abroad thing.) The best advice is to rely on your friends to get ya through and keep you from making short-term decisions you might regret later.

Bom sorte,

emo

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When it won't help to slow down...PoUr iT oN!!

[This message has been edited by emo (edited 08-17-2000).]

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Guest chinagirl

Guest chinagirl

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jolie27 you are absolutly right, he was a big part of my life and the hardest part is getting used to being without him. i had to stop myself at 11 am this morning from calling him cause thats what i do every morning mon thru fri cause he has to go to work by 12. i know this sounds mean but i feel like i have to break a habit (like my smoking).

Princesspookie and nikilina i agree with you also, everything happens for a reason. I am not going to play head games, they are for children. We are both young (23) and we started dating young. Right now i say screw him, but i am sure this will only last 1 hour. HAHA

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keorim Newbie

keorim

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I know that initially it's difficult not to be bitter and feel betrayed. You've invested so much of yourself in that relationship, and it may feel like you're left w/ nothing. But eventually, I think, you'll begin see that each relationship in itself is something valuable - a bundle of experiences, feelings (good & bad), lessons, and memories - that is yours to keep. Just try to enjoy, if you can, your time of being by yourself. Be crazy, have fun, and try to see it as an opportunity to do things that you couldn't before, when you were attached. When you're w/ someone for that long, your identity invariably becomes linked w/ that person and that relationship. It'll take time for that to dissipate, but it will. And you'll see that you've grown and learned things w/out even realizing it. Also, I think it's important that you don't think too much right now, in terms of analyzing it to death. Emotionally, you're probably not in the right place to see things clearly. Just let it be. Yeah, maybe going out and fucking the brains out of a random (lucky) guy is good idea, as Blue suggested. Whatever you do, keep your dear friends near you and be safeguarded in their supportive energy. Hope you feel better soon.

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cazz926 Newbie

cazz926

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Hey Sweetie,

Make sure that you keep yourself surrounded by friends-you will need them to vent, to cry, and to make you laugh.

This guy broke up with me once and I thought that I would never reclaim my world, and I never felt so empty. I felt that way for a while. But I kept myself busy, and my friends made sure that if I needed to cry, I cried, and so on.

Now I know what true love is and in retrospect, him leaving was the greatest thing that could have happened, though at the time I thought I would never smile againm

It will take time, but I PROMISE, this too shall pass, and you will be a stronger person for it,

For now...if you wanna cry and bitch...DO IT!!!

YOU GO GIRL!!!!X

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Din Da Da

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schwingep Newbie

schwingep

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Posted

I know the perfect answer to your problem!!!

VINYL IS THE ANSWER!!!

Go there tomorrow night with your friends, see who from here is going, meet up, hang out. Hang out on a couch, dance, walk up to strangers and start a conversation, do whatever, cry on somebody's shoulder. No matter what you do there, it's okay because the night is "Be Yourself". And the people there are great!!!

Oh yeah, the DJ isn't too shabby either wink.gif

He'll lift your spirits up.

We'll help you get through it!

- Pete

Oh yeah, go out and buy the biggest, most colorful lollipop you can find, and buy it and sit one night watching sitcoms. I don't know if that'll help, but it sounds good smile.gif

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Do you want me to make it darker? - DT

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frankie_pep Newbie

frankie_pep

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Posted

Originally posted by tripinchick:

Go out, pick up a guy and fuck his brains out, then leave. Helped me..

And just what exactly are you doing this weekend?

WANNA FUCK

HAHA, jus kidding

Thats exactly what i do to all the girls and it DAM sure helps!!!!! wink.gif

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I love this house,

this house of house

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