V. Barbarino Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 http://www.clubplanet.com/news/archive/10_tips_for_djs_out_of_the_bedroom_and_into_the_club.aspWho the fuck wrote this piece of shit article?? That article is so wrong it's not even funny...You want to be a great dj and get out of the bedroom, listen to me, not these losers. Unless you think being nice and have pictures on your webpage will help you... Amazes me how dumb these people are..1. Produce your own music, any asshole with a G5 can do it. You don't even need to know how to mix tracks, just fake it, but production will get you bookings. 2. Know your role, study your market, what do the females in your clubbing geographic want to hear? 3. For the love of god, don't choose a looser dj name or tag team duo name, just use your real names. How many people know who "murk" is outside of Miami? The answer, 3 people do.. So dumb..4. Lie! Make shit up about yourself, where you have spun etc.. No one fact checks in the club business. Shit I've spun at Twilo with Jr... Email LP at Space, pay him 2000 bucks for a fake flyer, and post it on your site.. You'll get more bookings from that than anything else you ever do!5. Never ever ever ever promote yourself as a DJ.. That's like changing your own tires as a Nascar driver.. Team up with someone, have them do it. (Biz and Roland perfect example)6. Trade! Have a friend who nees a gig in your city and you need one in his city? Trade gigs! Have no friends? Pimp your sister out and get some. This is a "friends" type of business, but they all are never really your "friend".. Use and get used... Welcome to the wonderful world of being a dj!7. Offer to open up for any dj on any night for free! Just be sure you know what the fuck you are doing. You are opening, not rocking that room. KEEP THE MOTHERFUCKING VOLUME LEVEL WAY WAY WAY WAY DOWN! DON'T BANG IT OUT AND DON'T PLAY TRACKS THE HEADLINER WILL LIKELY PLAY! Keep your name off all the shitty gigs flyers, just put your name on the good ones. 8. Sell out! Always always always sell out. It's never about the music, it's about getting blowin in the booth from some skank and of course the money... Don't spin hip hop? Maybe you should, be versital in this down club market. The gravy train passed you by, it's 2006 not 1998!9. You've read 8 things already, did you produce any tracks yet ? So fucking important! You gotta produce! Then some more then some more!10. Last but not least, study the pros near you. Ask them questions, get on message boards, study what they do, practice practice practice.... 11. You are never as good as you think you are, and you are always worse than you think you are as a rookie.. When in doubt, blame the sound system and the opening dj.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LeVeL Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JMT Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 lolan instant classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bling Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest macboy Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 Enjoyable commentary as always, Nick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lyrik Posted June 5 Report Share Posted June 5 STICKY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyTrendy Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 vintage saleen in full effect.... LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rbs Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 LMAO... 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan2772 Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 hahawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest saintjohn Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 9. You've read 8 things already, did you produce any tracks yet ?Thanks - I needed a good laugh this morning. Truth is always the best comedy. CJ should really give you an advice column. Instead of "Dear Abby," maybe it could be "Ask the Club Legend" or something.Dear Club Legend,I want to open a cool new club in Miami Beach. Who should spin on opening night, Tiesto or Tenaglia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyTrendy Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 9. You've read 8 things already, did you produce any tracks yet ?Thanks - I needed a good laugh this morning. Truth is always the best comedy. CJ should really give you an advice column. Instead of "Dear Abby," maybe it could be "Ask the Club Legend" or something.Dear Club Legend,I want to open a cool new club in Miami Beach. Who should spin on opening night, Tiesto or Tenaglia?lol so true.. i bet it would be a sucessful column. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V. Barbarino Posted June 6 Author Report Share Posted June 6 Awww, a cool new club, How big of a club? Who is your core audience???Smaller, trendy places, I'd go get some way way way old school NYC jocks such as Glenn Friscia....When keeping it real goes right! Saleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lulamishka Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 9. You've read 8 things already, did you produce any tracks yet ?Thanks - I needed a good laugh this morning. Truth is always the best comedy. CJ should really give you an advice column. Instead of "Dear Abby," maybe it could be "Ask the Club Legend" or something.Dear Club Legend,I want to open a cool new club in Miami Beach. Who should spin on opening night, Tiesto or Tenaglia?lol so true.. i bet it would be a sucessful column. lolI'm afraid to admit it, but...+1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest coach Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 So, anyway, I'm gonna be opening the newest biggest baddest nightclub in Miami. It's gonna redefine MIA nightlife as you know it. Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V. Barbarino Posted June 6 Author Report Share Posted June 6 So, anyway, I'm gonna be opening the newest biggest baddest nightclub in Miami. It's gonna redefine MIA nightlife as you know it. Any suggestions?Other ways to waste your money, but aren't as cool..Buy a bridge or some swamp land..Open up an electronics store that only sells 8 Tracks and Beta VCR's along with rotary phones of course keep your stores inventory on a pc running windows 3.1 software.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyTrendy Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 So, anyway, I'm gonna be opening the newest biggest baddest nightclub in Miami. It's gonna redefine MIA nightlife as you know it. Any suggestions?Other ways to waste your money, but aren't as cool..Buy a bridge or some swamp land..Open up an electronics store that only sells 8 Tracks and Beta VCR's along with rotary phones of course keep your stores inventory on a pc running windows 3.1 software..I'm sure your parents are proud to see you utilize your economics degree on CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V. Barbarino Posted June 6 Author Report Share Posted June 6 True Dat...where supply meets demandgood title for my column... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyTrendy Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 lost connection in my office.. call ya later saleennnnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest coach Posted June 6 Report Share Posted June 6 So, anyway, I'm gonna be opening the newest biggest baddest nightclub in Miami. It's gonna redefine MIA nightlife as you know it. Any suggestions?Other ways to waste your money, but aren't as cool..Buy a bridge or some swamp land..Open up an electronics store that only sells 8 Tracks and Beta VCR's along with rotary phones of course keep your stores inventory on a pc running windows 3.1 software..My aunt in Naples bought some swampland, for real. Then the gov't decided to turn it back into swamp after the development failed miserably. She got a good payment back, we all get more wetlands. Everybody wins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.