mariah Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 What really sucks is when you meet someone,start dating then down the line you find out he's had a girfriend for some time. That's the worst. The girlfriend never has any idea whats going on. Why does everyone want to see if the grass is greener on the other side...... how about an answer to that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 I wouldn't say once a cheat always a cheat, in some cases maybe but not all. I am sure there are many guys who have self-esteem problems, but not everybody is like that.But like BlueAngle said trust your intuition, women have a sixth sense for these things you will probably be right.I think the main thing is trust, once you have been cheated on the trust is very difficult to get back (if at all, that depends on your circumstances).Just be realistic(which is the most difficult thing to do in these circumstances), and do what right for you.------------------I want to go out blazing not fade away.I can resist anything but temptation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Originally posted by bre5379:You are so true blueangel. A womans intuition is usually never wrong. You have to stick with your gutt feeling. Trust is what makes a relationship, nothing else. hey i agree w/ you guys about intuition, but thats ceratainly a two way street. i had a feeling something was going on behind my back but didnt' wanna believe it. then evenutally my friends started telling me and i still didnt' wanna believe it. In the end when i finally realized it was true, i said f* it and went out the same night and hooked up w/ someone else and didnt' say anything and knew that friends of mine would tell her b/c there was so a huge group out. she got pissed and upset w/ me and then i was just like, oh please look what you've been doing to me for all this time.i really just wanted her to feel like a dick, ya know make her look stupid in a way b/c thats what she had been doing to me all along. Initially i felt good, but the truth was i knew she really didnt' care, and i really did so i still ended up feeling like shit after the initial contented feeling about getting her. i still look back and think how stupid i was, or remember something she told me and see the truth now and i'm like, wow what a fuckin asshole i am. oh well, hindsight is always 20/20-Rob------------------"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchris Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 I'm gonna freak out - My daughter is Bella and you go buy MisstressBella. I'm ready to get everyone to go beat up this guy. If anyone does this to my Bella, they better run.------------------It's all in the music Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Pfloyd40, you are right. It is a two way street. A relationship needs to be 50/50, not 80/20...I am sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't think two wrongs make a right. If my boyfriend cheated on me I wouldn't do it back to him, that would only prove that I was as low as him (not saying you were.) All I know is that cheating hurts so much. (Can you tell I am very sensitive to this topic???) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkFloyd40 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Originally posted by bre5379:Pfloyd40, you are right. It is a two way street. A relationship needs to be 50/50, not 80/20...I am sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't think two wrongs make a right. If my boyfriend cheated on me I wouldn't do it back to him, that would only prove that I was as low as him (not saying you were.) All I know is that cheating hurts so much. (Can you tell I am very sensitive to this topic???)bre- i guess i conveyed my message wrong. what i was trying to say was yes i did it back to her, but it didn't make me feel any better, only worse. it felt good at first, but then after i did feel kinda like a scumbag even though she had been lying and doing it to me all along. i may have been happy at first to get a rise out of her, but as soon as that was gone, which was extremely quick, i felt empty. so getting her back didn't really help me at all. b/c of what i did, it took a long time to really get closure on the whole situation, b/c we both basically walked away from each other and never talked again. at least if i had been the bigger person and there would have been immediate closure and wouldn't have stuck around like it did.but i'm so happy now b/c i'm in a great trusting relationship. i totally trust my gf and am so the opposite of the controlling type. it took me a long time to get to this point, where i could trust another girl. I would never cheat on her.-Rob------------------"And thus they give the time, that Nature meantFor peaceful sleep and meditative snores,To ceaseless din and mindless merrimentAnd waste of shoes and floors." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Good for you Rob...I am happy for you!!! Breann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-money Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Ok, here's a question. Its well established that cheating is fucked up and pointless, but what about a situation where you (as a single person) know a guy/girl is in a relationship but you hook up with them anyways. Should I have felt any guilt for hooking up? I knew the other guys (barely) but they weren't my friends so I didn't feel bad about it at all. I didn't betray anybody so I guess it's ok right? Or does my simple "association" with the girl already in a relationship make me just as bad as them? I'm just curious what you all think. <<<PEACE>>> ------------------"Get busy living or get busy dying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 In my personal opinion I think if you know that the girl/guy is in a relationship it is just as bad. I would not want that done to me so that is why I do not do it to others!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Cheating really sucks BUT and I have never done it, but if you're gonna do it:If it's a one time thing don't ever confess. Your wife/girl is not your priest.Don't ever go to your favorite hangout.Don't buy flowers or do anything out of the norm for your significant other once the deed is done.Use cash only.Take a shower to get off her/his scent off you.Immediately wash your clothes, whether you had sex or not, people have noses like dogs when it comes to this.If you still love the person you cheated on and they find out, deny everything and go kick the shit outta the person that dropped dime and make them tell it's all a lie.Don't tell the person you're cheating with you're cheating.Assume everyone is a spy.Once you do it, don't ever do it again. It can be habit forming and hazardous to your health and wallet.------------------Dream a little dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-money Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 What if you knew that the other guy/girl was an asshole/bitch? <<<PEACE>>>------------------"Get busy living or get busy dying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 G-money, I still think it is wrong. Would you want that done to you? Are you just hooking up because the guy is an asshole or because you like the girl? This is just my opinion though. Please don't take what I am saying the wrong way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest crystalmethodny Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 I'm in the middle of a lot of work today... (believe it or not)So I'm just going to say that it seems to me that several of the old chivalrous codes are gone.Love, respect, courage, passion, honor... What's that?I won't go into my personal experiences with the subject, not worth it.------------------"We're going to build things up slowly... are you with me? Here we go." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-money Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Of course, I'm hooking up because I like the girl. I've just had weird situations I guess, where you start out as friends and just start talking and getting to know each other and then when you least expect it you're hooking up with that person. Yes, I would hate to be that other guy but sometimes its just too easy to live "in the moment", so to speak. You see, when you go into a deep analysis of why people cheat, it really is quite a confusing matter. Needless to say, I still know that I could never cheat on somebody that I truly care for. <<<PEACE>>>------------------"Get busy living or get busy dying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezdreamer Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Originally posted by crystalmethodny:So I'm just going to say that it seems to me that several of the old chivalrous codes are gone.Love, respect, courage, passion, honor...There're there, just gotta dig a little deeper. Just ask BlueAngel.------------------Dream a little dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 It is a very confusing matter. You can analyze it for hours. As long as your happy G-money then that is all that matters! But then you have to think, if she is cheating on this guy with you, will she cheat on you with some other guy?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g-money Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Thanks Bre! Those girls are long out of my life and I don't really want to be the "other" guy again. If I can see that something is gonna happen then I'd probably ask the girl to break up with her guy first, but like I said, sometimes its just too easy to get wrapped up in the moment. <<<PEACE>>>------------------"Get busy living or get busy dying." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted September 19 Author Report Share Posted September 19 g-money, I think it's wrong. I wouldn't want anyone to trespass on my territory, so I will not trespass on theirs. It's wrong.When it comes to cheating . . . don't sugar coat it. It's just plain wrong!BlueAngel------------------"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bre5379 Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 You're welcome G-money. Just make sure you look out for your feelings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Originally posted by mistressbella:MAN im soo happy someone brought this up Im in the middle of a relationship 2yrs he's my first love anyway there's been some shady things going on i did comfront him and tryed to end it but he would chase me call tell me he loves me cares for me we are always together but i find phone numbers I give him everything ass which i dont mind im not ugly what the fuck so if anyone can help me w/this please.You need to get rid of this peckerhead, as difficult as it may be!!! I was in the same situation and all it does is bring you down. You want to believe what he's telling you know in your heart your suspicions are correct. Maybe he's at a stage in his life where he's just not sure and he wants to have his cake and eat it too. In my situation we broke up and got back together and miracle of miracles, this guy truly loved me, but by that point I was just done with the whole situation. I couldn't forget the past and I lost all the respect I had for him. All this guy is going to do for you in the long run is make you lose your self-esteem. As some people have pointed out -- you need to listen to your intuition. Mine has NEVER failed me in relationships. I've always been right and I'll never doubt myself again in a situation such as this. First loves are hard, but everyone has one. Now you can look forward to your future love(s). ------------------ I LEAD A DOUBLE LIFE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nineeyes Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 i don't understand cheating either... but i guess it's an one eye open, one eye closed thing for most cases. a lack of foresight and disregard of the consequences... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjorie Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Originally posted by mariah:What really sucks is when you meet someone,start dating then down the line you find out he's had a girfriend for some time. That's the worst. The girlfriend never has any idea whats going on. Why does everyone want to see if the grass is greener on the other side...... how about an answer to that!WORD MARIAH!!!!I know who you're talkin about. Won't mention any names though, b/c he's probably reading right now. [This message has been edited by executress (edited 09-20-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0nus Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 Wow. I have only had one serious girlfriend and in the past 3 years I have never cheated on her. This topic has truly reminded why I never ever should.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 cheating in my opinion, has to be the most hurtful thing that u can ever do to a person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myrlin Posted September 20 Report Share Posted September 20 Cheating is low down horrible and shouldnt be done. All the old morales get thrown out the window too often in this tri state area and prolly all over the place.If you are interested in someone else, you shouldnt be with the person you are with. It frightens me to have to worry about such things that are second nature to me as fidelity.**Shrug** I am almost afraid to get into a relationship with a girl again because of all this....who knows...------------------Myrlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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