xxxdrewxxx Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 O.K., I'm going to try to make this as short and easily exlained as I can, so maybe one of you can help me out...There's this girl that I am friends with, who I have known for years, but only have been friends for a month. Since we started talking, we have hung out about 3 times a week during the week days, and all weekend. Neither one of us has made a move yet, and thats probably (at least on my end) because she has a boyfriend. Here's where it gets confusing. She does talk about him, but never stuff like how happy she is or how much she likes him. She'll just say stupid shit like "Me and Anthony went there" etc. I have noticed a few times she has thrown what I have interpetited as hints. She has said shit like "The way you carry yourself and your voice is very sexy" and also shit like "I always end up meeting a new friend right as a relationship is ending for me. And I end up dating them. I feel like I should warn them or something." And also the fact that she spends just about every fucking day with me and not her boyfriend, kinda leave me wondering WTF. I don't know if I should say something in fear of a few things. 1) making our friendship non-exisitant b/c now it's a weird situation, 2) being denyed and looking stupid for taking her kindness as hints. If I do tell her, how? Do I just lay it on her, or should I give her some little song and dance. This usually isn't a problem for me b/c I am never really afraid of loosing the girl as a friend, so if I do say something, I don't care if it gets weird. But with this girl, it's a little different. We have a lot of fun together. When we go out, we're a good team. We even work out at the gym together now. I'm sure I know what to do, but i guess I just need some people to tell me what they would do so I can check myself. Thanks for the help...XxXxDrewxXxX ------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petp Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 just my 2 cents....she hangs out with you more than she does her own bf? ok, plus one for you.she tells u youre sexy and stuff? plus two for you.if it was me, she still has a bf, so i wouldnt do anything. maybe this bf is just really cool, and likes to give her her space and let her do her own thing, and he trusts her. or maybe he's a jerk and doesnt give a sh*t. if you do do something, then further down the road, she might do the same thing to you. or you'll be paranoid that she will do that to you. if a girl has a bf, i just stay out of it and keep it purely platonic. and if she breaks up with him, then do something.best of luck.peter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted September 18 Author Report Share Posted September 18 Originally posted by petp:just my 2 cents....she hangs out with you more than she does her own bf? ok, plus one for you.she tells u youre sexy and stuff? plus two for you.if it was me, she still has a bf, so i wouldnt do anything. maybe this bf is just really cool, and likes to give her her space and let her do her own thing, and he trusts her. or maybe he's a jerk and doesnt give a sh*t. if you do do something, then further down the road, she might do the same thing to you. or you'll be paranoid that she will do that to you. if a girl has a bf, i just stay out of it and keep it purely platonic. and if she breaks up with him, then do something.best of luck.peter I agree 100%, but then something tells me what if she's waiting to see if I like her before she does break up with him...------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djrman Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 All I have to say is be careful. That happened to me, therefore I can relate. The outcome, I lost a friend. Listen, if I were you, I would wait. Time is the key. Sooner or later.....you'll find out. However, if you press the issue, you might lose. Even worse, a friend. Take it from me bro. I learned the hard way. Sucks doesn't it? Good luck and don't worry about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carsonfever Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 Yeah I lost a good friend that way too. It really does suck...just take your time....don't push the issue to much...if you don't sweat it it will just happen naturally if it is supposed to.------------------"Clothes Minded?"--Kenneth Cole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdante Posted September 19 Report Share Posted September 19 if you help her break up with her former boyfriend and be there for her when shes ready for another one, you might as well just tatoo "ill be your next fool" accross your forehead.you have no idea what is really going on between them and you never will. you are not in their bedroom at night and you only hear half of the story. stay away from her and all the emotional baggage she will bring with her into your world. there are lots of good *single* chicks out there without attachments.BTW, nobody really talks about all the good things their significant other does for them bc people generally complain more than they gush. you obviously dont want to hear about what a great guy he is, and she senses that.------------------i love music! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artful Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 Wait and see...She couldn't expect you to make a move on her knowing she's got a boyfriend......it is a very awkward situation.. and technically the best thing is really not to give advice in this matter cause each situation is a different one and we're not there to see the dynamic that exists in this one. ------------------ <I'm a Fire-starter> --- When the Artful speaksHAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! "Takin' out the suckas, and they don't know how I did it!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strictlydro Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 If shes tellin you that she always ends up dating new freinds and tells you that your sexy than doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she wants you but you always got to remember if you like this girl as a freind then goin out with her could mess that up later on cause we all know that most likely your not gonna marry her,but on the other hand if you like her more as a girlfreind and thats really what you want her as then you definetly got her if you want just throw out a suggestive comment to her so she knows that you want her like that too.hope this helped a little,laterz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted September 21 Author Report Share Posted September 21 Originally posted by strictlydro:If shes tellin you that she always ends up dating new freinds and tells you that your sexy than doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she wants you but you always got to remember if you like this girl as a freind then goin out with her could mess that up later on cause we all know that most likely your not gonna marry her,but on the other hand if you like her more as a girlfreind and thats really what you want her as then you definetly got her if you want just throw out a suggestive comment to her so she knows that you want her like that too.hope this helped a little,laterzSee thats the thing... She'll say shit like your sexy and I'm a really nice guy, blah blah blah, but then she'll also say shit and throw hints that make me feel she wants me to back off. I don't know. I started to test to see how she reacted to a few things before I make a decision as to whether or not i am going to let her know so soon. She spent the night at her b/f's house last night (he lives in Manhattan and she goes to school there too, but she lives about 1 hour away from NYC, so it's an easier commute), so what I decided to tell her when she asked me what i was doing that night was that my best friends new girlfriend hooked me up on a blind date, so I had to meet them for dinner and drinks later that evening. She got very quite after I told her that, so now I'm trying to decide how to play it now... Still real confused.------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted September 21 Author Report Share Posted September 21 sirdante, you make a lot of sense, and a lot of what you said has def. crossed my mind. But honestly, I really don't think she is playing games. I just think it's more of a situation where I'm not sure if I'm reading her hints right. Maybe this is the way she treats all of friends, or maybe not. And believe me, it's not an attention thing. This girl gets tons of attention. She is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. She is so hot, all eyes are on her when she walks in the door. Seriously, no joke. If I had a scanner, I would post a pic of her. She's unreal. So I'm sure she's used to a lot of guys sweating her. And thats why I don't know what to do. I'm trying the make her come to me strategy, and it seems to be working a little. She seemed to get a little jelous when I told her the date thing. I don't know. I guess I have started to reach the point where I could give 2 shits either way. Too much other shit to worry about. I'm telling her the next time we hang out that I dig her, and we'll see how it goes. Tomorrow night we're supposed to hang out, so I guess I'll keep you guys posted. I'm open to more advice/suggestions, otherwise wish me luck. And thanks to everyone who responded with their help/advice/$0.02...------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobadrinker Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 Assuming this girl of yours is not playing with ya...then it sounds like she has feelings for you but can't act on them cause of her current bf. Try doing this: drop her some of these hints (like she's done with you), this way she has an idea of how you feel for her. But don't make a direct move while she's still with the guy. Try opening up the topic (of her and her curent relationship) and see what her p.o.v. on that is...very tricky times this is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdante Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 Originally posted by xxxxdrewxxxx:sirdante, you make a lot of sense, and a lot of what you said has def. crossed my mind. But honestly, I really don't think she is playing games. I just think it's more of a situation where I'm not sure if I'm reading her hints right. Maybe this is the way she treats all of friends, or maybe not. And believe me, it's not an attention thing. This girl gets tons of attention. She is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. She is so hot, all eyes are on her when she walks in the door. Seriously, no joke. If I had a scanner, I would post a pic of her. She's unreal. So I'm sure she's used to a lot of guys sweating her. And thats why I don't know what to do. I'm trying the make her come to me strategy, and it seems to be working a little. She seemed to get a little jelous when I told her the date thing. I don't know. I guess I have started to reach the point where I could give 2 shits either way. Too much other shit to worry about. I'm telling her the next time we hang out that I dig her, and we'll see how it goes. Tomorrow night we're supposed to hang out, so I guess I'll keep you guys posted. I'm open to more advice/suggestions, otherwise wish me luck. And thanks to everyone who responded with their help/advice/$0.02...dude,i think u *r* talkin bout my ex-GF! i wont impress my cynicism on u anymore. i will, however, offer the following:-----------------a sirdante metric-----------------you can measure a persons level of narcissism by the number of shoes in their closet.-----------------look in her closet dude, if its wall to wall shoes, run faster than you would run if her boyfriend was in there wearing a batman suit.anyway, good luck my man. youve intrigued us all, so pls at least give us a hint as to how the weekend went!------------------i love music![This message has been edited by sirdante (edited 09-21-2000).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdante Posted September 22 Report Share Posted September 22 Originally posted by xxxxdrewxxxx: See thats the thing... She'll say shit like your sexy and I'm a really nice guy, blah blah blah, but then she'll also say shit and throw hints that make me feel she wants me to back off. I don't know. I started to test to see how she reacted to a few things before I make a decision as to whether or not i am going to let her know so soon. She spent the night at her b/f's house last night (he lives in Manhattan and she goes to school there too, but she lives about 1 hour away from NYC, so it's an easier commute), so what I decided to tell her when she asked me what i was doing that night was that my best friends new girlfriend hooked me up on a blind date, so I had to meet them for dinner and drinks later that evening. She got very quite after I told her that, so now I'm trying to decide how to play it now... Still real confused.dude,she just wants attention. its a common prob, apparently esp common amongst many female people in this country. i have met tons of chicks like that. actually, i just broke up with the worst one of em all cause i didnt want to try and play her game anymore. sounds like ur friend wants you to give her attention. she prob has no idea of how much attention she needs, so she will leave it up to you and the other guy(s) in her life to push the limits until she says stop. looks like she enjoys the control and likes the attention. come to think of it... she isnt my ex girlfriend is she?!?if shes like my ex or any of the other friends i have had like this, she is being selfish. simply, she expects to get what she wants, yet has no idea of what she wants. shes got you confused. at the same time she is always confused. i am not saying shes a bad person or anything like that, i am just saying that she is dangerous to you if you keep letting her confuse you.my advice: take control. dont worry about her or her BF or anything. do what makes you feel good. give it a shot, you can not lose a friend bc you express your honest emotions. real friends understand anything. dont be timid anymore. go for it.my *big* advice: you r too nice of a guy (i can tell by your confusion) to get involved too heavily with a girl like this. shell rip you to shreds. she wont mean it, but it will happen. keep the relationship shallow and fun. itll be best for both of you. dont worry about her BF cause hes already in a pitiful situation. i send him my pity here and now, but, trust me, if i cant handle a chick like that, nobody can. hes doomed and you will be too if you step into his shoes.carpe dium.sincerly,sirdante the cynical------------------i love music! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markos Posted September 22 Report Share Posted September 22 STAY AWAY!! shes obviously a head game!! shes already caused u enuff confusion...girls like that r straight head cases and dont know what they want....do yourself a favor and stay away far away!! good luck...peace.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted September 22 Author Report Share Posted September 22 LMAO... She's a fashion major. she has more clothes and shoes than God. She gets all of that shit for free. Really funny you said that. P.S.You're not the jelous ex-boyfriend type, are ya? ------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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