xxxdrewxxx Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 No offense ladies, but seriously, I really don't understand how a girls brain works. There's this girl that I'm friends with, and I have serious feelings for, that just found out a few weeks ago that her boyfriend cheated on her. They have been going out for a year and a half. When she confronted him, he lied to her face about it, and kept denying it. When she told me the details and told me what he said, I pretty much said she was being stupid for believing him. Well, it turns out I was right. He did fully cheat on her and finally admitted it. Now here she is seriously thinking about giving this kid another chance after all of this nonsense. I mean I understand love and second chances are needed in a relationship, but come on. Not only cheated on her, but in the same bed that she sleeps in when she goes to his house, but then LIED about it to her face, and acted like what was the big deal? Why would any girl want to take someone back that did that to them? Especially now because it's like telling him it's ok, and giving him an invitation to do it again somewhere down the line. I don't know. Sorry, just had to vent a little...------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aljedynak Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 Sorry Drew. She is being pretty dumb. The more you tell her to dump him the more attractive he will be to her so just try reverse psychology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 No offense taken here.. You're right, a lot of people are stupid/blind/naive/idealistic/etc/etc/etc... They'll learn some day.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephc01 Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 Hey, just thought I would add my two cents: it is stupid for her to take him back but I think the severity of the cheating is also relevant. If he slept with another girl, that is fucked up and obviously he is going to do it again. However, if he only fooled around--whatever. Sometimes guys are just as stupid. Anyway I guess I'm not the best person to answer because I HAVE cheated on three of my boyfriends (past). Although if any of them cheated on me I would've fucking broken up with the bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 Originally posted by stephc01:Hey, just thought I would add my two cents: it is stupid for her to take him back but I think the severity of the cheating is also relevant. If he slept with another girl, that is fucked up and obviously he is going to do it again. However, if he only fooled around--whatever. Sometimes guys are just as stupid. Anyway I guess I'm not the best person to answer because I HAVE cheated on three of my boyfriends (past). Although if any of them cheated on me I would've fucking broken up with the bitch. That's very hypocritical if you ask me... What goes around comes around also. Don't forget that. As the old saying states:"treat ppl the way you wanna be treated".. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tato09 Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 i know just what ur in, my friend is in the same situation, and it wants just once but a few times.. she even caught him. she knows in the back of her mind that its true but she kinda outsit off and keeps letting herself be used. i think its sick, there really isnt much you can do, just let her learn her lesson and be there when she needs ya to pick up the pieces Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfm18 Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 If I were you drew, I would take a step back from the situation. I mean, basically stay out of it for now.....Just like aljedynak was saying above, you can't make here hate him and dump him and by you always being there, she thinks you will always be there regardless of what she does. Lay off her and when she comes to her senses, she will realize what she is missing. However, she will only realize this once she is missing it though. I know it is not easy since you have such feelings but your torturing yourself and you gotta just believe that she will realize your value once she doesn't have it. It's like that saying about not knowing what you really have until you lose it.......make her feel that...Hope this helps....Peace.Mikey------------------"Music is life, take a pill and go beyond that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h8-u-all Posted October 13 Report Share Posted October 13 agreed girls are stupid but not as stupid as these towelheads who work the 7-11 here, i went into buy a slurpie and all they had was camel juice pouring out the machine, now that's stupid, they are so stupid that they put dots on their wives foreheads so they know where to throw the remote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinergygrl Posted October 16 Report Share Posted October 16 Girls arn't half as stupid as the guys that cheat on them. It sounds like to me that because you have feelings for this girl you are in a situation that you could cause a lot of drama. I think you should stay out. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. During the first year we dated he cheated on me. Granted he didn't lie about it and told me right away unlike this other guy did to that girl. However, we are still together. You can't judge someone elses relationship, you arn't there to expeirence the emotions they are. I know for a fact that my boyfriend will never cheat on me again. We both had a lot of issues to deal with for a while as result of what he did, but in our case it made our relationship even stronger. Now even if this guy cheats on her again, maybe that is just how it is supposed to be. Sometimes things have to get tough for us so we can build ourselves to be better people. She has to make this decision for her own, sometimes we learn the hard way, and sometimes it doesn't end up being the hard way that we take even though that is what other people think. Just be there to support her, that is what she needs right now. She doesn't need someone telling her what to do. Listen and love, it is that easy. If I had taken most of my friends advice I wouldn't have the beautiful amazing relationship that I do now. -SIN------------------Damn the man, save the empire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeydollaz Posted October 16 Report Share Posted October 16 awww dude sounds liek u got a thing for her ... which for you totally sucks cuz once u cross the friend border with a girl .. you;re suck there ... ( ussually) ... if she considers you a " real good friend " she gonna wanna talk to you about her dick boyfriend ... ( and its gonna kill your ass to hear it ) ... there was an article in maxim about how to kiss a girlk your friends with but i dont think those maxim tips ever really work .. =-) .. anyway hopefully she comes around ... try not to show her as much attention and show it towards other girls in front of her .. watch, she'll def get jealious ... see if it works, good luck homes.. ! ------------------*************************lets go jets ..... ************************* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackMeOff Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 ummm, ...good question ...not all of them are though ...I still have hope------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowball Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 heheh hey ph . where have you been man dam i havent see you in a long while ------------------ SASHA & JOHN DIGWEED NOTHING LIKE SMOKEN WEED&Listening to DRUM&Bass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by h8-u-all:agreed girls are stupid but not as stupid as these towelheads who work the 7-11 here, i went into buy a slurpie and all they had was camel juice pouring out the machine, now that's stupid, they are so stupid that they put dots on their wives foreheads so they know where to throw the remoteHuh??? That wasn't even funny... And not all girls are stupid!!! I know I'm not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackMeOff Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by glowball:heheh hey ph . where have you been man dam i havent see you in a long while talking to me??------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 I do have feelings for her. i care about her a lot. And of course, part of caring about her means that I need to be there for her, and support her in the choices she makes that will bring her happiness. But I know that even though taking this kid back would be temporary happiness, some where down the road, 1 month, 3 months, 1 year, whatever, she'll be dealing with this again. It will be that much harder then because she'll have that much more time invested in the relationship. I know that sometimes there are exceptions, but I really don't think so with this kid. Not with half the shit she's told me he's said/done. I don't know... This crap is pissing me off.------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackMeOff Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by xxxxdrewxxxx:I do have feelings for her. i care about her a lot. And of course, part of caring about her means that I need to be there for her, and support her in the choices she makes that will bring her happiness. But I know that even though taking this kid back would be temporary happiness, some where down the road, 1 month, 3 months, 1 year, whatever, she'll be dealing with this again. It will be that much harder then because she'll have that much more time invested in the relationship. I know that sometimes there are exceptions, but I really don't think so with this kid. Not with half the shit she's told me he's said/done. I don't know... This crap is pissing me off.I'm going through something similar right now and I know exactly how you feel but there's nothing you can do about it. If you get involved, soon you'll become the bad guy. The only thing you can do is wait and see what happens and be there for your friend. She'll eventually realize that she's missing out on life because of this guy and hopefully will have enough strength to leave him.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 You do have a point. But I guess for the same reasons why she would consider going back out with this kid. I look at her as a package. She might not have it all together with this relationship, but her good qualities outweigh it by a long shot. And plus, the truth is I really don't know ALL the details behind the relationship, so who really knows, ya know? I guess what I'm saying is it is hard to let go of a really good thing. It's not like I'm asking her to remove this kid from her heart, Ijust want her to make room for me.P.S.mysteriousss - Sorry if I offended you girl. It was wrong of me to classify ALL women as stupid. I'm sure your an exception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karde Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 You can't respect a girl (or guy) who will tolerate being cheated on, over and over. That person has issues if they are willing to live with that. Why do you want to subject yourself to somebody with that many problems?------------------My humble Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/kardes_ss/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by n.y.c.1:You do have a point. But I guess for the same reasons why she would consider going back out with this kid. I look at her as a package. She might not have it all together with this relationship, but her good qualities outweigh it by a long shot. And plus, the truth is I really don't know ALL the details behind the relationship, so who really knows, ya know? I guess what I'm saying is it is hard to let go of a really good thing. It's not like I'm asking her to remove this kid from her heart, Ijust want her to make room for me.P.S.mysteriousss - Sorry if I offended you girl. It was wrong of me to classify ALL women as stupid. I'm sure your an exception. Why do you use different names to post? I AM an exception! I thought I sensed sarcasm in that sentense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by karde:You can't respect a girl (or guy) who will tolerate being cheated on, over and over. That person has issues if they are willing to live with that. Why do you want to subject yourself to somebody with that many problems?Being friends with someone is not exactly "subjecting" yourself to them.. Unless I'm misunderstanding your point.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 No sarcasim intended.------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Originally posted by xxxxdrewxxxx:No sarcasim intended.*grin* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 check your PM's girl...------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousss Posted October 17 Report Share Posted October 17 Now you check yours Thanks hun, you're sweet.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxxdrewxxx Posted October 17 Author Report Share Posted October 17 Oh stop... I'm blushing. ------------------You know everything will flow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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