cathyo Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 entrepreneur's post made me think about my theory on calling prosepctive and current b/f's and g/f's.I had a friend who was always going through the "Should I call him?...He didn't call me yet?...Would it be to pushy?...Will he think I'm a psycho...?" dilemma.Here's my theory, and it goes across the board in all situations. If you want to call someone, just do it! If your the type who wants to call several times a day, don't sit there and hold back because you're afraid of pushing the person away. I think that if you want to call someone and don't, you are only portraying a false image of yourself to that person. Anytime you don't follow what you feel, you are not being true to your own personality and when that "true you" comes out down the road, the other person will feel deceived.People need to be honest about themselves right from the get go. I told my b/f early on that I'm not high maintenence as far as gifts and such but, I need a lot of attention. Is that a good or bad thing? I don't know...but that is just the way I am and I know it. I am not going to play aloof and hem and haw about calling just to mold the persons view of me.Besides, waiting for your "turn" to call, to me, is playing a game and I don't like games. Does that make any sense??------------------ "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions."~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ CATHY AND JOEY ARE FAKES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neojunglist Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by cathyo:entrepreneur's post made me think about my theory on calling prosepctive and current b/f's and g/f's.I had a friend who was always going through the "Should I call him?...He didn't call me yet?...Would it be to pushy?...Will he think I'm a psycho...?" dilemma.Here's my theory, and it goes across the board in all situations. If you want to call someone, just do it! If your the type who wants to call several times a day, don't sit there and hold back because you're afraid of pushing the person away. I think that if you want to call someone and don't, you are only portraying a false image of yourself to that person. Anytime you don't follow what you feel, you are not being true to your own personality and when that "true you" comes out down the road, the other person will feel deceived.People need to be honest about themselves right from the get go. I told my b/f early on that I'm not high maintenence as far as gifts and such but, I need a lot of attention. Is that a good or bad thing? I don't know...but that is just the way I am and I know it. I am not going to play aloof and hem and haw about calling just to mold the persons view of me.Besides, waiting for your "turn" to call, to me, is playing a game and I don't like games. Does that make any sense??i agree with ya babe. ------------------i am the one and only Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickijay Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 cathyo, you're always the voice of reason!! (this is good)...but i agree 100%...maybe it's b/c i'm older now and just can't be bothered with the whole "should i call now, should i wait, what will he think" nonsense. if you want to call just call....if the person you're calling thinks less of you just b/c you called right away then he or she's obviously not the right person...... ------------------ Boink like a bunny with spring fever!!!uknj@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Cathyo...I knew I've always liked ya for a reason, girl!-Oo------------------I am NOT a fag hag. I'm a fairy princess."When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image." -Eckhart"I heard of a man that says words so beautiful that if he only speaks their name, women give themselves to him.If I am dumb by your body while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips it is because I hear a man climb the stairs and clear his throat outside our door." - Leonard Cohen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baby3tears Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by cathyo:entrepreneur's post made me think about my theory on calling prosepctive and current b/f's and g/f's.I had a friend who was always going through the "Should I call him?...He didn't call me yet?...Would it be to pushy?...Will he think I'm a psycho...?" dilemma.Here's my theory, and it goes across the board in all situations. If you want to call someone, just do it! If your the type who wants to call several times a day, don't sit there and hold back because you're afraid of pushing the person away. I think that if you want to call someone and don't, you are only portraying a false image of yourself to that person. Anytime you don't follow what you feel, you are not being true to your own personality and when that "true you" comes out down the road, the other person will feel deceived.People need to be honest about themselves right from the get go. I told my b/f early on that I'm not high maintenence as far as gifts and such but, I need a lot of attention. Is that a good or bad thing? I don't know...but that is just the way I am and I know it. I am not going to play aloof and hem and haw about calling just to mold the persons view of me.Besides, waiting for your "turn" to call, to me, is playing a game and I don't like games. Does that make any sense??You are SOOO right, I think that once a person starts holding back and not doing exactly what they WANT to do, that's when you become insecure and unsure about yourself. No need to play games.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanna11 Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 cathyo, you know what's upthat's pretty much how i work. and i go through phases, so for one week i'll call everyday or more, and probably bug the hell out of whomever. then i won't call or feel like talking for a week. then i'm bugging them again. new friends probably think i'm schizo------------------"real fucking high" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dabiatchka Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 I agree totally. If you are looking for someone that is right for you u shouldn't hold back any part of yourself. If he doesn't like it oh well it's not meant to be. A friend of mine is completely the opposite. She changes everything about herself just to fit her bf's life. I barely even see her anymore. It's pathetic though. She thinks they re going to get married but if u cant even be your complete self around each other then how wil u survive marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sungoddess Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by dabiatchka:A friend of mine is completely the opposite. She changes everything about herself just to fit her bf's life. I barely even see her anymore. It's pathetic though. She thinks they re going to get married but if u cant even be your complete self around each other then how wil u survive marriage.I think I know this girl!! My good friend does that kind of crap all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichi_gami Posted March 4 Report Share Posted March 4 Originally posted by deanna11:new friends probably think i'm schizoOld friends are sure of it...ichi ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted March 5 Author Report Share Posted March 5 Glad to see so many people agree. I think once people decide to be themselves right off the bat and out their shortcomings early on, their relationships will last much longer. Of course you need to be able to admit these things to yourself first! I'm a nut who is prone to twigging out for no apparent reason at a moments notice. I admit it and I made sure my b/f knows it too! ------------------ "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it's old dimensions."~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ CATHY AND JOEY ARE FAKES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel-o-d Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 I used to be like this, not even in terms of calling prospective b/f but even with just being able to pick up a phone and call a friend. I think it was from years of fighting over the phone w. my dear dad, but I always talked myself out of calling friends ... I don't have a specific reason to call them, they might be busy, we might run out of things to talk about, etc, etc. Now though, if I want to talk to someone, I just call and my cell phone is one of most treasured toys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacychase Posted March 5 Report Share Posted March 5 I agree 100%.... Great reasoning... ------------------Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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