ricfutures Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 1. Women wear high heels to bed.2. Men are never impotent.3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory.4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.8. Women always orgasm when men do.9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine.10. All women are noisy fucks.11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.12. Those tits are real.13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)16. Double penetration makes women smile.17. Asian men don't exist.18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.19. There's a plot.20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.21. Nurses suck patients cocks.22. Men always pull out.23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.24. Women never have headaches... or periods.25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".26. Assholes are clean.27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.29. Men don't have to beg.and finally...30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.------------------Neo: You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?Choi: All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly. -Ricfutures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolly Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 ROTFFLMAO!! I am still laughing...those were too funny. ------------------ Please meet Jammin' Jimmy, the Dancin' Machine!! (thanks Daniela)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampienyc10 Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 ------------------AIM vampienyc10e-mail: vampie@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quanto_magnus Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 true... true... ------------------ Hughemail: ibhugh@yahoo.comaolim: hugesk8r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennEfer Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 too funny!!!! LMAO!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyo Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 ROTFLMFAO ------------------ ~*~*~Don't use time or words carelessly, neither can be retrieved.~*~*~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divalicious Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Wooooooo, too funny!------------------Is it Friday yet? Peace Love Happiness y'all DivaliciousNYC@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carabee Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Funny shitThese tips will sure help me on my date with Ron, Peter, and Dirk!------------------She's got everything she needs/she's an artist/she done't look back/She'll take the dark out of the night time/and paint the daytime black.......DYLAN**THE MUSIC BEE** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 I thought I knew some freakys but I still have never met a girl that wants 3 cocks in her at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
translucent Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 LOL!If I were a cop and single, #9 would definitely be true...then again, I'd probably be way too lazy to pull her over in the first place.------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachel1997 Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 OMG!!!LOL!!!!!!!That is sooooooooo true!!------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! -----------------------"Embracing the goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a new understanding, and value of life. A vision, that inspires you to live, and love, on planet earth. Like a priceless jewel, buried in dark layers of soil and stone.... earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of space and time. Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home. And experience in this place to visit, and play with reality. You are becoming aware of yourself...as a Game master.......... AIM: fantom0680 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricfutures Posted March 12 Author Report Share Posted March 12 Originally posted by carabee:Funny shitThese tips will sure help me on my date with Ron, Peter, and Dirk!LOL!!! Ron Jeremy, Peter North and Dirk Diggler. What about Reed Rockwell? It sucks to be a sidekick... ------------------Neo: You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?Choi: All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly. -Ricfutures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neojunglist Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 lmfao ------------------i am the one and onlyaim or yim - neojunglist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReginaP Posted March 12 Report Share Posted March 12 Ahahehee... *bump* for this one, it's hysterical------------------=)reginadp121@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexxxi Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Hey guys, I don't know about you but this is what my life is like....nice to see someone get it right for once....TeeHeeHee!!! Ok...even though I am joking.....I think we all do some pretty wacky stuff like this for fun.....right?!?!?!?! ------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdogg Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Lexxxi,From what I hear, you wrote these rules.I don't see what is wrong with #27......j/k.------------------JDoggAIM: JDoggNY2000"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmb1975 Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Holy mother of god...that was fucking hysterical!!!! And sooooo true!!! ------------------ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risa06 Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistressbella Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 All that describing the woman sounds like me I think im going to move to the westcoast and become the next hottest porno star. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djustinh Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 sad, but so very fucking true. lmao! ------------------a mind stretched by new dimensions can never be the same againYour laughing at me cause I am different? Shit, im laughing at you cause your all the fucking same! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carabee Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Reed Rockwell....FUNNY!------------------She's got everything she needs/she's an artist/she done't look back/She'll take the dark out of the night time/and paint the daytime black.......DYLAN**THE MUSIC BEE** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynxssp Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 What's wrong w/ # 28? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crobra Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 That was funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msoprano Posted March 14 Report Share Posted March 14 ------------------TWILO'S WACK !!!! Sorry guys it is "don't get attached to anything you're not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat coming around the corner"Robert DeniroAIM:MSOPRANO13Email: msoprano13@yahoo.com "IM GONNA MAKE YOU AN OFFER YOU CANT REFUSE" MSOPRANO13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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