ecstatichigh35 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 everything is going wrong, i'm 18 and graduating high school in 2 weeks. My prom is next friday and i dont have a date yet and dont even think i'll find one. I've been depressed for like the past 2 weeks. I dont know what it is, i think its all the drugs. i'm like totally anti social everywhere i go. I used to never be like this, but lately i've not had any energy whatsoever, and all i ever wanna do is be by myself and not talk to anyone. This is ruining everything. I'm starting to hate my job, even though its not that bad, i'm a host at fridays the restuarant. I used to like it, but lately when i have no energy i stand there and dont do anything and get like depressed, whenever someone says something to me i give them an attitude back and it makes me get into fights with everyone, i was just working tonite and the computer froze on me, this fuckin bitch i have to work with got all pissed, saying io broke it, i so badly wanted to tell that fat ugly fuck off but i didnt wanna make a big deal out of it. Being depressed at work makes it seem like hell, cause its a very socializing atmosphere, and normally i would love it.So now i wanna quit my job, but i have no motivation to find another one. I dont know what to do, I need money. everyone like hates me at work now cause i get into fights with everyone.Next, I just had my college orientation, i got back like 2 days ago, it was good, the first day was good, i met a lot of cool peoeple, and felt fine, but then the next day, my depression kicked in, i was extremely antisocial, i sat there no talking to anyone, this one girl came up to me and introduced her self, an di turned around and walked away. its like i wanna get as far away from other people as possible. I ditched the orientation and went to listen to music.So that totally SUCKED, i so badly wanted to goto that orientation and make as many friends as possible but it all backfired on me.And this shit is ruining my whole life, someone help me please. Nothings wrong with me, i dont know why this is happening, but i hate it. please someone help...or i'm just gonna break out and cry------------------"Emotions touched...with feelings running high....it seems right...no need to run and hide....we live fantasy...upon reality...to the other side of life...of life...of life...of life...of life.....as you take me away....one feels into my fantasy...I find with you I break free....as I drift on a dream...I pray to you with hands held high....I find with you....Ecstasy........" I'm the one with the whistle at Sound Factory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenzor Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 KILL YOURSELF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crobra Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 I don't know what drugs you are on, but I suggest that you take a break!! I don't mean skip a weekend, take a few weeks to a month or two off (at least)! Don't worry about the job, suck it up and just think about the pay check!! Ask a friend to the prom and stop being so anti social, you are at the begining of something great!!!! Don't take it for granted, they burn yourself out and begin to enjoy your college years!! Once the first semester starts join clubs and get involved in shit you like!! You will get over this phase of your life and you look back and laugh at the shit that upset you in the past!! Just remember to do shit in moderation!!------------------I put forth a generall inclination of all mankind, a perpetuall and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death. Hobbes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by stevenzor:KILL YOURSELFlol wtf------------------ transcend 1. To pass beyond the limits of2. To be greater than, as in intensity or power; surpass3. To exist above and independent of (material experience or the universe) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenzor Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 just put a bag over your head and kill yourself please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecstatichigh35 Posted June 11 Author Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by stevenzor:KILL YOURSELFI HATE YOU------------------"Emotions touched...with feelings running high....it seems right...no need to run and hide....we live fantasy...upon reality...to the other side of life...of life...of life...of life...of life.....as you take me away....one feels into my fantasy...I find with you I break free....as I drift on a dream...I pray to you with hands held high....I find with you....Ecstasy........" I'm the one with the whistle at Sound Factory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saigray Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Oh honey, I'm sorry, but you've got to know that things like this come and go. Sometimes the blues just come and that's when you learn how to be strong. When you are not in the mood to be social, you can't force it, but it doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you need time to yourself to be with yourself and sort some stuff out. Give yourself that time, and just let the people you have to deal with be like water off a slick surface..they're there, but they can't touch you. If music still makes you happy, use that as your medicine, but if that is too tied to drugs, (and the drugs can wreck your happiness), then you need to find something else that can make you feel excstatic high. Focus inside and all the little details on the outside will work out in the end. ------------------ In wonder, I wonder "What Happens Next?"- Selma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeprock Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Go see a shrink. Ask about the drugs Celexa or Paxil. I did at one point in my life, and it probably saved my life. Drugs won't make you develop social skills, but they certainly can help normalize your mood.------------------Tiggers can do anything. AIM: EddieinBx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saigray Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by stevenzor:KILL YOURSELFVery helpful -- (didn't you evr see Pump up the Volume!)------------------ In wonder, I wonder "What Happens Next?"- Selma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooana Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 First off, to the asshole who typed "kill yourself"...that wasn't funny.Depression is a serious thing and this guy is asking for help. Perhaps he doesn't have the courage to talk to a friend or family member, but he was asking genuninely for help.I know I've been where he is, and many people have....and to make a joke of it, or to even say such a thing isn't funny. I've been there, I've been recessitated after a suicide attempt. This isn't a laughing matter.Ecstatichigh...words on a bullitain board aren't, however going to make you feel 100% again. Or even 50%. You need to do what you've done here out in the real world. Reach out to someone for help, ideally...someone who is trained in therepy. There is NO weakness in seaking out help. There's incredible strength there. The fact you even WANT help at all means you're a step ahead of the game and that you're far stronger than you think you are right now. (I can only ask you to believe me here because I HAVE been there, and I survived it and grew from it.)The others are right though. Cut the drugs. You don't need to have your mental facilities altered right now or add more chemicals to your body that will effect your mood. You need all your senses to help you get through this.Find help now, before college starts and before your environment changes. College brings with it its own set of stresses and confusion and you need to have a good deal of emotional balance to have the time there that you DESERVE to have.In the meantime, hold onto the fact that even though things may feel horrific now...that you feel like you're drowning, you won't. Breath and do small things for yourself that you know make you feel good...like listening to music. Make yourself do the small things you should do, even if its hard sometimes...like be social with your friends.And please...get help. Its painful to see hear even a stranger going through a depression...its not an easy thing and its nearly impossible to get through it alone.Good luck and don't lose hope :-)-Oo------------------ "When the soul wishes to experience something, she throws an image of the experience out before her, and enters into her own image." -Eckhart"I heard of a man that says words so beautifuly that if he only speaks their name, women give themselves to him.If I am dumb by your body while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips it is because I hear a man climb the stairs and clear his throat outside our door." - Leonard Cohen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuzzykitty420 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 hey, chill out...i read your post on the board and really think that everything will work itself out...listen, about the prom, i didn't even go to mine, i'm in college now and looking back at high school is a gag....i promise the things you're stressing about now seem like the 'biggest problems in the world', but listen, things will simmer down and lighten up and then you'll realize how silly you ever were for really stressing over them to begin with - AND - if you think that drugs are weighing you down, don't take em for a while...there is nothing stating that you HaVe to take drugs to have fun...::::breath:::: you'll be cool, slow down and relax...write me back if it'll help, but don't worry about things, let them work themselves out...also, sometimes breaking down and crying is all you really need to do, there isn't anything wrong with that - it healthy!! if at first you don't succeed, fuck the world and smoke some weed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xoxalixox Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by stevenzor:just put a bag over your head and kill yourself pleasewhat sweet people we have living in this world... fortunately, it will all come back to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsul3 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 It is prom that is messing you up. Everyone get deppressed around prom time if they don't have a date don't worry about prom it doesn't mean nothing just that you had the wrong time to have bad luck with women that is all. It will blow over. Besides even if you go I'm sure you won't be the only one alone so you'll find girls there. AS far as your job goes everyone hates their job. Here I know when I depressed it helps me for other poeple to tell me something worse then me life like it could be worse. Take my life my girl has gone back home for the summer and somehow I am managing to screw that up. My stocks all lost at least 5,000 dollors. Thanks to the market I used to make 1,000 a day now I can hardly get a job. The job I do have most poeple would kill someone to get it and somehow I am screwing that up too. Even my looks aren't as good as last summer. ok well hope that made you feel better and you got a lot of courage to come out and say all those things. Just keep your head up you'll get through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Yeh lay of the pills for a while. What you are describing is depression, i have been there quiet a few times.When you take E it depleates Seratonin levels in your brain, which cause you to be depressed, anxious etc. It is short term, but it's a very good sign that you have been overdoing it.I have had deveral bouts of post ecstacy depression and i know it's not nice at all. But it will get better i promise you. Just rememeber it is a symptom of the drug abuse and the way your feeling is not who you are. One thing i would say is try to stay away from SSRI's (Prozac etc) i tryed those and they fucked me up. They work in the same way MDMA works and i am pretty sure it's not a good idea to take them with E depression.Get help if you feel you carn't cope. Good luck and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.------------------I want to go out blazing..not fade away.Trust in the currency of relationships, it's hard to earn but easy to loose - back2basics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyrevs Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by stevenzor:just put a bag over your head and kill yourself pleasewow you're really helping her out!!!ANYWWAY,if you've been rolling a lot chances are you have low seratonin levels(chemical that gets used up when u take E)u need to take 5 HTP,it'll help bring your seratonon levels back up again.Your body normally takes up to 2 weeks to restore all the lost seratonin so the 5 HTP will help speed up that process,hope this helps ------------------ and then.......THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungee Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 In fairness to Stevenzor, his solution would indeed rid ecstatichigh of his depression. I mean if you are dead you would indeed be depressed no more and, to boot, would create housing for a new immigrant from China. However, it may be bit too harsh a solution. ------------------Sticks and Stones may break my bones..but..words..can't..hurt..meeeee...so there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starcapone Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 after reading that...your life isn't really falling apart. i've been depressed, too. never to the pt. where i'd kill myself cuz i went to school with this girl that did do that this past jan. very sad!! def. lay off the illegal drugs and maybe get a prescribed drug. u can go solo to the prom like i did. once inawhile i hate my job too. it's actually one of the best if not the best job i've had, so hang in there. ok. ------------------ he said : i'd really like to get into your pants! she said : no thanks. there's already one asshole in there! 'nuff said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockie33 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 How bout first u kill half of the morons on this board and then u can end it urself too. Just an idea. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resident Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 If you're ever down on yourself, I suggest walking down east side of Eighth Avenue between 29th and 30th Streets. There's some social services bureau in one of those buildings, and I think they run a methadone clinic or something like that (I work nearby). Basically what you see congregating in front of that building is a lot of real losers. You'll see what I'm talking about and feel better about yourself instantaneously.------------------In G We Trust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resident Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Originally posted by back2basics-:Yeh lay of the pills for a while. What you are describing is depression, i have been there quiet a few times.One thing i would say is try to stay away from SSRI's (Prozac etc) i tryed those and they fucked me up. They work in the same way MDMA works and i am pretty sure it's not a good idea to take them with E depression.Word. It's very easy to roll so much that the body can't keep up with rebuilding the serotonin levels. While it starts accumulating immediately, it can take months (and not two weeks as someone wrote above) to replenish serotonin fully, even with 5-htp.By the way, SSRI's don't work the same way MDMA does. They block reuptake of serotonin while MDMA opens the release. But both accomplish the same goal - getting more serotonin to the receptors. And while your friendly pharmaceutical company would love your doctor to put you on prozac, consider that I have never heard of anyone ever getting off that drug. Great customer loyalty, huh?------------------In G We Trust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
live1 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 Wow. All of the posts before me have said everything I need to say - Just know that you're not alone. I have gone through some serious mental disfunctions in terms of depression and anxiety and panic attacks and what not and that shit AINT FUN. It's to be taken very seriously and almost always comes from somewhere deep inside. Therapy Therapy Therapy. I promise it will help. Meanwhile, stay true to yourself and know that only YOU matter. And stay around people who love you. And stay away from clubs and drugs. It fucks up your sense of reality.Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nSyNcBaBy Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 ok... saying "kill yourself" to a depressed person isnt the wisest thing to do... whether u care about the person or not..one of my close friends and former boyfriend has depression problems and hes been seein a shrink at his college for 2 years... about a year and 1/2 ago, after wed been broken up, he emailed me with a letter that resembled a suicide note... to actually read things he was saying like "if i dont start feelin better soon, i may do something that everyone will regret" and "u were the only thing in my life that ever made me happy...but i dont want u to feel guilty for anything that happens to me...etc".....its fuckin scary... he said his shrink helped him last yr but this yr he started goin for a different problem... something with anger and depression rather than just being depressed... <sorry this is long but i gotta get this out>he got a good job wit the newspaper this summer and it fell thru once he came home from school.. and now hes worse off than ever... hes been home for about a month now and hasnt left his house.. he refuses to see his friends, including me, and i worry about him... these things arent easy to deal with, even if ur not the person who needs the help... so do urself a favor ecstatichigh- and find someone to help u... lay off the drugs b/c in the long run they wont make u feel better... but will only make u more depressed when ur not on them...i hope things work out... and btw- if u cant find a date for the prom, just go with ur friends anyway... going without a date may seem depressing but thats not what the prom is all about in my eyes.. thats what its BECOME all about.. but in reality.. its a big party that lets u be with evryone in ur class for one last time... all together.. u wouldnt wanna miss that would u? and nothing would be better than spending it with ur best friends... good luck sweetie and i hope this helped u out a little... ------------------"cLuBBeRs DoNt FaLL...ThEy tRiP aNd RoLL" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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