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the REAL definition of 'friend'


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i got this from someone on the NYC board - this is classic

First of all, they hang out with us and help enjoy the good times.

Second, they help ull us through the hard times that we face in life.

And lastly, the introduce us to people we can hook up with.

That is one of the most important and least appreciated functions that

friends serve. As far as I am concerned, the mark of a good friend isn't

that he or she "was there for me when I needed it most" - my best friend is

the one who has provided me with the most access to a piece of ass over the

last ten years.

Think about your entire history of relationships. Every person you have

dated long term, short term, prison term, and every random hook up in

between. The vast majority of those relationships were with someone you met

through a common friend. Very rarely do you find a couple who met randomly

at a bar. Most couples met though a friend, a friend of a friend or

relative. The reason most relationships begin this way is what I call the

"V4" Principle. "V4" is short for "Vouch For" and it is this reason that

the majority of people in America get laid.

Say you're out on a Friday night and you see a cute brunette at the bar.

You approach her, make small talk and attempt to pick her up. To you she's

a hottie with dating potential. To her, you're just another one of the

drunken masses out there trying to score some ass. NOW - take the same

situation as before, but when you see her at the bar, she is talking to your

best friend's girlfriend. Now when you approach, you're SOMEBODY as opposed

the NOBODY you were before. The girl at the bar has a reference point for

you and your bestfriend's girlfriend is there to vouch for you

"Oh, that's Fred, he's Mike's bestfriend. They work together at the law

firm. He's a real sweetie and he's so cute when he gets drunk."

See how it works? You're the same drunken ass either way, but now you're

perceived as charming. So, if friends are largely responsible for our

hook-ups, how does one improve his odds. Simple, just use this handy dandy

friendship reference guide to determine who you should hang out with more,

and which friends to discard:

1) Married Friends - Don't have any. They only hang out with other

miserably married couples and they constantly attempt to pull the rest of us

into their pit of despair. There is no ass for you here.

2) Friends Who Work In The Service Industry - Hold on to these. People who

work in restaurants, bars, retail and the like tend to have a plethora of

same aged single people to kick it with. They are laid back and don't work

until noon, so they're always up for a night out. Also, hostesses are easy.

3) Friends Who Do A Lot Of Drugs - Keepers. Whether you do drugs or not is

irrelevant. People who do a lot of drugs tend to hang out with people who

do a lot of drugs...and chicks who do a lot of drugs are easy.

4) Religious Friends - NO! NO! NO! All of their friends are usually

bible-thumpers as well, and meeting a groups of hot Baptists is like going

to your favorite bar with no money - you can look all you want, but you

can't have anything.

5) Strippers - If you have any friends who are strippers, contact me

immediately and please let me know where you are going to be this weekend...

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since you asked...

as of right now, my brother - matt, my friend - tommy and yours truly should in town for dyk of house at blues van paul on august 9 and will stick around until that sunday (the 12th)

i should check to see if the cubbies are in town -

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Originally posted by bigsis

HELLO!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

so you're telling me that not only are you FUN but MARRIED, too?

isn't that an oxymoron?

you know, like bouncy boy is cool, b2b has an id and we won't hear born slippy on aug. 9...

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