jprutig Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 i got this from someone on the NYC board - this is classicFirst of all, they hang out with us and help enjoy the good times.Second, they help ull us through the hard times that we face in life.And lastly, the introduce us to people we can hook up with.That is one of the most important and least appreciated functions thatfriends serve. As far as I am concerned, the mark of a good friend isn'tthat he or she "was there for me when I needed it most" - my best friend isthe one who has provided me with the most access to a piece of ass over thelast ten years.Think about your entire history of relationships. Every person you havedated long term, short term, prison term, and every random hook up inbetween. The vast majority of those relationships were with someone you metthrough a common friend. Very rarely do you find a couple who met randomlyat a bar. Most couples met though a friend, a friend of a friend orrelative. The reason most relationships begin this way is what I call the"V4" Principle. "V4" is short for "Vouch For" and it is this reason thatthe majority of people in America get laid.Say you're out on a Friday night and you see a cute brunette at the bar.You approach her, make small talk and attempt to pick her up. To you she'sa hottie with dating potential. To her, you're just another one of thedrunken masses out there trying to score some ass. NOW - take the samesituation as before, but when you see her at the bar, she is talking to yourbest friend's girlfriend. Now when you approach, you're SOMEBODY as opposedthe NOBODY you were before. The girl at the bar has a reference point foryou and your bestfriend's girlfriend is there to vouch for you "Oh, that's Fred, he's Mike's bestfriend. They work together at the lawfirm. He's a real sweetie and he's so cute when he gets drunk."See how it works? You're the same drunken ass either way, but now you'reperceived as charming. So, if friends are largely responsible for ourhook-ups, how does one improve his odds. Simple, just use this handy dandyfriendship reference guide to determine who you should hang out with more,and which friends to discard:1) Married Friends - Don't have any. They only hang out with othermiserably married couples and they constantly attempt to pull the rest of usinto their pit of despair. There is no ass for you here.2) Friends Who Work In The Service Industry - Hold on to these. People whowork in restaurants, bars, retail and the like tend to have a plethora ofsame aged single people to kick it with. They are laid back and don't workuntil noon, so they're always up for a night out. Also, hostesses are easy.3) Friends Who Do A Lot Of Drugs - Keepers. Whether you do drugs or not isirrelevant. People who do a lot of drugs tend to hang out with people whodo a lot of drugs...and chicks who do a lot of drugs are easy.4) Religious Friends - NO! NO! NO! All of their friends are usuallybible-thumpers as well, and meeting a groups of hot Baptists is like goingto your favorite bar with no money - you can look all you want, but youcan't have anything.5) Strippers - If you have any friends who are strippers, contact meimmediately and please let me know where you are going to be this weekend... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Now that is some funny shit, and VERY true IMO.Cheers mate, gave me a giggle to go along with the Danny Howells- hype me before area one set.Now i really must start hanging out down the crazy horse gentlemans club more.Kim, you got any mates? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
der Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 I don't know any married people that are any fun to hang w/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tranceaction Posted July 25 Report Share Posted July 25 Hey Der, does that include the Mano's ? I hear they're a married couple and real party animals.Every married couple I know is more interested in the sales at Bed, Bath, and Beyond than anything else.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back2basics- Posted July 26 Report Share Posted July 26 Originally posted by der I don't know any married people that are any fun to hang w/. I know a few married couples, who are a scream. One in particular are fantastic fun to go out with... they are mental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouncyboy Posted July 26 Report Share Posted July 26 Hell yeah peeps, spoken like a true genious. Will you marry me?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jprutig Posted July 26 Author Report Share Posted July 26 Originally posted by bouncyboy Hell yeah peeps, spoken like a true genious. Will you marry me?? sure thing, dude. but if you think i'm "catching" it's gonna be a quick marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angprncess Posted July 26 Report Share Posted July 26 Originally posted by der I don't know any married people that are any fun to hang w/. I don't know any **FUN** married people either! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouncyboy Posted July 26 Report Share Posted July 26 Originally posted by peeps sure thing, dude. but if you think i'm "catching" it's gonna be a quick marriage. You didn't just go there man... you are too damn funny... can't wait to hang out. Did you finalize your trip yet?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jprutig Posted July 26 Author Report Share Posted July 26 since you asked...as of right now, my brother - matt, my friend - tommy and yours truly should in town for dyk of house at blues van paul on august 9 and will stick around until that sunday (the 12th)i should check to see if the cubbies are in town - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouncyboy Posted July 27 Report Share Posted July 27 Yeah dude, if they are we should defenately hit a cubs game... Other then that sounds good. I'll be waiting with open arms baby...And yes you are catching bitch got it???... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigsis Posted July 27 Report Share Posted July 27 Originally posted by angprncess I don't know any **FUN** married people either! HELLO!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jprutig Posted July 27 Author Report Share Posted July 27 Originally posted by bigsis HELLO!!!!!!! so you're telling me that not only are you FUN but MARRIED, too?isn't that an oxymoron?you know, like bouncy boy is cool, b2b has an id and we won't hear born slippy on aug. 9... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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