bust a joke

[sosultan]

One day this husband and wife go to the zoo. As the woman approaches the

gorilla cage, the gorilla starts going nuts. The woman is wearing a skimpy

tank top and short skirt. The husband notices the gorilla's reaction and

tells his wife to lift up her top. When the gorilla sees her bra he starts

pounding his chest.

Next the woman lifts her skirt and the gorilla starts going even crazier.

The husband tells his wife to take off her bra and flash the gorilla. She

does and the gorilla is jumping up and down and making lots of noise.

Finally the husband grabs his wife, throws her into the gorilla's cage and

says,"Now tell the gorilla you have a headache."

[nitro449]

cute:laugh:

[synderella420]

GOOD ONE!!

[rachel1997]

LMAO! sosultan!

TWO WISHES

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich behind him. The bartender asks

for his order, and the man says, "I'll have a beer," and turns to the

ostrich. "What's yours?"

"I'll have a beer, too," says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says, "That will be $3.40 please,"

and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for

payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and both order a

beer. Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact

change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the two enter again

and the bartender asks, "The usual?"

"Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch," says

the man.

"Same for me," says the ostrich.

"That will be $7.20," says the bartender.

Once again, the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places

it on the bar. The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any

longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to come up with the exact

change out of your pocket every time?"

Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic, and

I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered

me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put

my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be

there."

"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a

million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you

want for as long as you live!

"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the

exact money is always there," says the man.

The bartender asks, "One other thing, sir; what's with the ostrich?"

The man replies, "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."

[sunshine420]

cute one... heres a funny haha for u to enjoy....

One upon a time there was a lady who went to the doc's and found out she was pregnant with triplets! She later realizes she doesnt want to go through with the pregnancy so she asks her husband to shoot her with a gun three times...one time for each child...he did so but for some reason her and all three of the babies survived... the only drawback being that the bullets were never removed from each child when at the hospital... years pass and one of the kids runs over to his mother and says momie mommie i was taking a crap and a bullet came out... the mother replys that she would tell him the story behind that when he got older... a few days later the second son comes out and says mommie mommie i was peeing and a bullet came out... the mother also brushes that aside as well... finally a few days later the mother hears a loud bang rushes up the stairs to the 3rd child crying saying mommie mommie i was jerking off and i shot the cat... PiEcE :monkey:

[silente]

This one's kinda old, but I still dig it...

One day a colonel was reassigned to a post deep in the desert. He was brought to the base on a hummer, and was immediately impressed with the high-tech equipment throughout the camp. But just as he was getting out of the hummer in front of his tent, he noticed an ancient, toothless camel tethered nearby. He wondered aloud why such an animal was necessary on such an obviously technology based camp. His driver said somewhat sheepishly, "well...sometimes some of the boys get a little desperate for...ah...satisfaction, so..." The colonel (not surprisingly) was a little disturbed, and interrupted quickly "Oh, I see. Well, I can guarantee you I'd NEVER get that horny." The driver shrugged and grinned as he shut the door. "We'll see..."

So, about 6 months go by, and by this time the poor colonel is ready to die. He needs action. ANY action. He finds himself looking with more than passing interest at the camel. One night, he can't take it anymore. When he thinks no one is looking, he silently untethers the camel and leads her into his tent.

A few minutes later, the general walks by, and wonders what the hell is going on in the colonel's tent. Those noises aren't natural! He pokes his head in, and nearly falls over when he sees the colonel just banging the hell out of the camel. After a couple seconds, the colonel sees the general, climbs down, yanks up his pants and (without any sense of irony whatsoever) salutes. The general demands "what the hell are you doing??" The colonel replies, "I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't help myself. It's been so long, you see, and when I arrived the driver said to use the camel."

There was a long pause as the general considered this. Then he said, "well, son, I can understand your frustration. But you see, the other men just ride the camel into town."

[shugabooga]

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please

> join me in remembering a great icon.

>

> The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and

> complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was only 71.

> Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of

> celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.

> Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker,

> the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

>

> The grave site was piled high with flours, as long-time friend Aunt

> Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Dough boy as a man who

> never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show

> business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not

> considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on

> half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even

> still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for

> millions. Toward the end it was thought that he would rise again,

> but alas, he was no tart.

>

> Dough boy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John

> Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also

> survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at

> 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

>

[ichernomor]

New Message Pad

[shugabooga]

[echostar]

lol these are really funny keep them coming