Girl problems, need advice.

[tribal]

hey, this is kinda weird seeking advice from strangers, but i got this prob. my gfriend (ive been with her for about a month) told me yesterday that she cheated on me. she was all crying and said she was extremely sorry and she doesnt know how that happened. i am obviously pissed, i love her, and after talking to my buddies and having a few beers i wanted to totally forgive her and move on, but when i asked her what she did with the guy, she admitted that she fucked him. when i heard that, i just ran out. i havent talked to her since, and she left me a very long message saying that she never regretted anything more than this and how sorry she is and all that stuff. i dont know what to do, ive never been in this situation. i love her, but she fucked some guy! she fucking fucked him! i dont know, i have no clue what to do.

[ceejay187]

Dayuuuum thats really fucked up!! That shit happened to me a few years ago! I was with this girl i thought i was in love with::then i find out she slept with a friend of mine! I was like wtf!! I almost even flipped out on her but i withheld my anger and told her I never wantd to see or talk to her again! I was pissed at my boy for a while but she was the one that came on to him::.. she wrote me tons of letters apologizing but till this day i see her and i dont say a word to her!

If i was you i would let her go! She is not worth it::.But then again there is alot of people that would forgive shit like this::.I know im not one of those peoples!

[crobra]

You have been only going out a month and she cheated on ya, forget her bro and don't waste your time!! She might be great girl, but she has issues that must be resolved and not at your expense!! It is to early in a relationship to already have cheated that badly, she didn't fool around or anything - she bang some other guy. Besides the fact that it unsafe to be with a girl that is going to run around behind your back, it's to early for a slip up. It's time to trade her in for a new one, you got damaged goods. I know you love her, but you are never going to able to trust. It's not worth it to you, tell her that it isn't going to work out, because she fucked up!!

[crobra]

I don't want to beat a dead horse or anything, but trust me - I speak from experience - from what friends and even I went thru in life. Girls like that just keep fucking around, it is not worth your time or sanity to deal with it. You know what to do!! The beginning of a relationship is like a probation period and she broke the worst rule - it can not be over looked!! Break it off and don't let her seduce you back into the relationship, just move and find someone else!!

[sirdante]

Originally posted by tribal

hey, this is kinda weird seeking advice from strangers, but i got this prob. my gfriend (ive been with her for about a month) told me yesterday that she cheated on me. she was all crying and said she was extremely sorry and she doesnt know how that happened. i am obviously pissed, i love her, and after talking to my buddies and having a few beers i wanted to totally forgive her and move on, but when i asked her what she did with the guy, she admitted that she fucked him. when i heard that, i just ran out. i havent talked to her since, and she left me a very long message saying that she never regretted anything more than this and how sorry she is and all that stuff. i dont know what to do, ive never been in this situation. i love her, but she fucked some guy! she fucking fucked him! i dont know, i have no clue what to do.

i assume u havent been cheating on her. if you have never cheated on her, then i, and most other strangers on this board, are sorry to hear about ur troubles bro.

if you are cheating on her, forget about what she did. theres no trust in ur relationship anyway.

in a situation like this, it all comes down to respect. because of her foolishness, you now have every right to put yourself first and go out and retain your own self respect by whatever means works best for you alone.

take care of yourself. just dont start playing any childish games.

[snappy139]

Usually it's us guys that are cheating and not the other way around. This is quite different though. If she is not honest with herself then she never will be with you. There are plenty of other woman that are looking for someone that will be honest.. hopefully you are. At least you experianced this now and not 2 years down the road. That would be much more painful to go through - I say move on

[aphelion]

It depends on what kind of person you are.

If she really hurt you deeply then by all means never talk to her again, there are far prettier, smarter, more mature girls everywhere that are just waiting for you to talk to them.

But it sounds more like you're just shocked... in which case, once that calms down, it's not such a big deal... in fact, you can look at it as a mixed blessing.

It depends.

[j303j]

dump the bitch. you will be better off.

[rfc]

Shit - that's rough

But it's not like either of you were virgins - if she is sincere AND your totally into it - make love, not war - but if you're too jaded - there are other fish in the sea

[bumpdaddy]

i say.... let her make it up to you

then ... dump the bitch

[tribal]

guys thanx for the advice, i didnt cheat on her for the short time we were together, i was just shocked i guess, ive never been in this situation, it seems to me that she feels really sorry, she was crying and all that shit, she told me it was the biggest mistake of her life. fucking rollercoaster of love man. ill talk to her tonight, my buddy told me that theres no such thing better than make up sex. hopefully things will work out. thanx guys!

[jester22]

BRO, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, WELL KIND OF. FIRST OF ALL, SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE, YOU CANT LOVE THE GIRL AFTER ONLY 1 MONTH. YOU MAY HAVE CRAZY FEELINGS FOR HER BUT IT ISN'T LOVE..IT FEELS LIKE LOVE, BUT IT ISN'T. SECOND OF ALL, IF SHE CHEATED ON YOU ALREADY, I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT FORGET ABOUT HER. IF SHE DID IT ONCE, SHE COULD DO IT AGAIN. YOU CAN FIND A BETTER GIRL OUT THERE WHO WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU AND MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GUY AROUND. I'M ONLY SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE. MY EX GIRLFRIEND NOW, JUST BROKE UP WITH ME AFTER 3 YEARS...3 FUCKING YEARS. SHE MET SOME GUY IN ITALY AND DECIDED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM. SHE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME IT WAS OVER....NOW YOU HAVE ONLY KNOWN THIS GIRL FOR ONE MONTH, TRY 3 YEARS....I CRIED, BELIEVE ME I CRIED...BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, 3 DAYS LATER, I MET THIS NEW GIRL WHO IS JUST AWESOME AND HAS SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS ABOUT HERE COMPARED TO MY EX....ITS SO GREAT BEING WITH THIS NEW GIRL...TO FINISH YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL THE PEOPLE YOU WANT.. BUT DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU...IF YOU WANT HER THAT BAD GO GET HER, BUT BE PREPARED FOR IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN.....FIND SOMEONE ELSE!

[vixenfoxxy]

OK, speaking for the minority counterpoint here...

You really need to consider the circumstances. Was she drunk and did she understand what was happening? Believe me, it's really easy to become a push-over when you're intoxicated. Also, consider her proximity to this person -- is it an ex, or a close friend, whom she is likely to see often or be tempted by again? or was it some random guy when she was out one night? Also, check out her reaction. Chances are if she's freaking out like that, it's not just some "whatever" situation for her. You may want to consider giving her a second chance but also tell her that in order to do that you need an honest lowdown on her history -- whether or not she's cheated before on other guys and how often. Then decide -- make an educated decision and don't just be capricious. Also bear in mind that "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" as in, if you really have feelings for her, you might get hurt but you'll look back on it and be glad for the experience. Good luck honey

[echostar]

i feel for you, same thing happened to me but not as bad

i caught my girlfriend kissing this ugly guy...she was all crying and shit and thats the only time she cheated on me, i was gonna break up with her but im too much of a sap

but fucking the guy is serious....

[t0nythelover]

Dude, can you ever have sex and not think about her sleeping with someone else. Think about her fucking you and thinking about another guy, cuz she obviously still thinks about fucking other guys if she cheated on you in one month. Trust me from experience, she feels guilty but don't forgive her, cuz then she'll just do it again. If I were you I'd tape you fucking her and send it to her parents, then shell stop fucking around.

[guccigrlnyc]

I know you love her and all but if shes not honest with you then you should not be with her, if its already been a month and shes cheating on you FORGET her, shes not worth it! And besides if she has already been with someine then she obviously does not have as strong feelings for you as you do for her so your better off without her I know it hurts, and your confused, but time heels all wounds, you will eventually get over it!

[ctwarrior]

If she cheats on you once, she will cheat on you again!

DUMP THE DUMB BITCH LIKE SHE WAS YESTERDAY'S TRASH!!! There are tons of women around this around who will be a lot more faithful and loving. I wouldn't waste your time with her!

[mugwump]

I'm still punch drunk from my own ex girlfriend crap I just went through so excuse me for sounding bitter..

Tell her to fuck off and find an other girl..

Sneeking around your back like that is no way to start a one month long relationship.

Unless you start it as an "open" thing or if you CONTINUE this as an "open" relationship on both your ends your just gonna wind up getting hurt again..

Nothing worse than falling in love with a whore!

[tribal]

wow, everyone is like "dump her man". i talked to her, and she told me that she didnt want to lose me, and she was all crying and shit, she was very sincere, she said that she didnt know what was over her. i told her i forgave her, but now i get these suspicious thoughts, i dont know, the sex was great though i figure if i see or hear anything suspicious, ill break up, its a shitty feeling.

[bigmahs]

I say bail and never look back,

You will thank me for it.....

[thehacker]

i cannot believe no one here is asking the obvious question:

did she GET something from this other guy she fucked?

in the event you do get back together, BE CERTAIN you're not getting More than just your g/f back... if she means that much to you, go to a clinic WITH her; thus she will feel even more guilty about cheating on you, since she will see that you're sacrificing Your time to get her checked out for possible std's - and hey, just to make it mutual check yo'self while you're at it...

just my two cents.

can't be Too Careful.

[Guest tilly]

I figured this would be a good place to start my postings..

One month is not enough time to feel like you can't live without this girl so I say DUMP HER. If you stay with someone who disrespects you like that then she will never have respect for you as a man.

[Abstrakt]

Thats horrible man...think of it this way, if you can find it in your heart to forgive her and if you really want her in your life at this point, keep her around. But if you feel that you can't trust her when she goes out with her friends or what not, its not worth the hassle...then move on. You will make the right decision if you think about it logically...if you can still trust her then dont get rid of her, but if you dont have trust in a relationship...then you have nothing.

[barvybe]

Originally posted by tribal

guys thanx for the advice, i didnt cheat on her for the short time we were together, i was just shocked i guess, ive never been in this situation, it seems to me that she feels really sorry, she was crying and all that shit, she told me it was the biggest mistake of her life. fucking rollercoaster of love man. ill talk to her tonight, my buddy told me that theres no such thing better than make up sex. hopefully things will work out. thanx guys!

Couple questions:

- how old are you guys?

- did she come and tell you, or did you find out and confront her?

- extenuating circumstances (drugs, alcohol, etc.) like someone else asked?

Why do i ask? Well, i've had some experience and reconciled in some cases. The age question is simple, and this is no dis, but when people are younger they tend to not understand / realize all the ramifications of what they do and have less self control. Having not gone through an experience like this before you don't know for sure what it all means or how serious its likely to be. I'm 29 and I'M still an idiot when it comes to some of this stuff.

Did she come to you with it? In the couple of cases that this happened to me, when she came to me and was legitimately really upset about it the relationship worked out. Again, especially if you've found out that she doesn't usually cheat she's probably feeling truly guilty and guilt is a sign that she knows she was wrong and is a very strong inhibitor down the road.

Extenuating circumstances: does she have any family shit going on? lots of stress? any chance she thought you were losing interest or had been ignoring her? how did she know the guy? etc.

Not saying to give her a break, but you just gotta make a call based on how good a person you think she is ---> trust, respect and love. They take a long time to build and a moment to destroy.

Good luck

Some of the other folks here were talking about cheating that happened after multi-year relationships. That's totally different IMO.

[ceejay187]

I posted before about this::..But better yet, get back with her, Fuck her one more time, and then dump her!!