Am I The Only One Who Prefers Being Single??

[bluegirl]

i have been noticing many threads dealing with this issue

it seems like i am in the minority

i prefer being single

i hate liking someone

i hate missing them

i think its because i like to feel i am in control of my emotions

and when i like someone i feel i lose this control

so why do u most of u like relationships?

love, etc?

i think they bring more sadness, difficulties, then being single does

well thats my opinion

[crashedfx]

Originally posted by glowdancer

i have been noticing many threads dealing with this issue

it seems like i am in the minority

i prefer being single

i hate liking someone

i hate missing them

i think its because i like to feel i am in control of my emotions

and when i like someone i feel i lose this control

so why do u most of u like relationships?

love, etc?

i think they bring more sadness, difficulties, then being single does

well thats my opinion

My opinion:

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams,

before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To risk love is to risk being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,

because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,

But they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves,

they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

Author Unknown

But i so understand why you stay single,

i try, sometimes it just hits without me noticing,

in time to stop it..... I do still believe though,

there there is somewhere, someone....

I keep constantly, tellin' myself to wake

up and smell the coffee.... But you know how

it is "hope is the thing that dies last".

[nSyNcBaBy]

i dont blame u for preferring to be single... i think that shows a lot of confidence and independence and thats never a bad thing. u definitely will give ur heart to someone whenever u feel ur time has come... for others who are depressed when not in a relationship, to me, it is a matter of feeling secure and not feeling those lil "lonelies" that tend to creep up when we're single. i know that when im in a relationship, and i know i love the person, then i feel like im complete, u know? like i have a purpose because i have the ability to make someone else happy. and when i make that someone else happy, then they love me the same way back and make me happy in return and i am constantly satisfied and just... well... happy.

to me, theres nothing more satisfying than going to sleep at night after hearing ur bf/gf saying "i love you". and waking up thinkin about that person wondering how they slept and not being able to wait until they call u and say "good morning sweetheart".... when i love someone, all i want to do is just be with that person. and spend time cuddling and doing all those little things like falling asleep on the couch together or renting a movie and just staying in watching tv and having just as much fun doing that as u would have going out with friends.

just knowing that someone can love YOU the way u know u love that person, is such a great feeling. saying i love u, and hearing it back from a genuine heart, from someone u know who MEANS it, is the greatest feeling in the world.

and some people are just empty without that feeling.

[crashedfx]

Originally posted by linabina

i dont blame u for preferring to be single... i think that shows a lot of confidence and independence and thats never a bad thing. u definitely will give ur heart to someone whenever u feel ur time has come... for others who are depressed when not in a relationship, to me, it is a matter of feeling secure and not feeling those lil "lonelies" that tend to creep up when we're single. i know that when im in a relationship, and i know i love the person, then i feel like im complete, u know? like i have a purpose because i have the ability to make someone else happy. and when i make that someone else happy, then they love me the same way back and make me happy in return and i am constantly satisfied and just... well... happy.

to me, theres nothing more satisfying than going to sleep at night after hearing ur bf/gf saying "i love you". and waking up thinkin about that person wondering how they slept and not being able to wait until they call u and say "good morning sweetheart".... when i love someone, all i want to do is just be with that person. and spend time cuddling and doing all those little things like falling asleep on the couch together or renting a movie and just staying in watching tv and having just as much fun doing that as u would have going out with friends.

just knowing that someone can love YOU the way u know u love that person, is such a great feeling. saying i love u, and hearing it back from a genuine heart, from someone u know who MEANS it, is the greatest feeling in the world.

and some people are just empty without that feeling.

You just described my relationship that ended like a week, ago. It hurts to read it so, much..... It was perfect, till something happened, its still undefined, its still a mystery to me... And dont get me wrong, feeling was mutual, very mutual.

See the things is, the higher you get, the bigger fall you'll take.

And size of the fall back down can go to terrifying levels....

I never studied english, and almost never knew it, untill moved to NYC 2 years ago.... When we broke up, i wrote her poetry, in ENGLISH.... That was pretty good, many people said who read it. People were shocked when they heard i wrote it. Cause it soooo doesent fit my profile, i guess this what it takes to "Play the blues"...

I cant stop thinkin about it... So many memories, in such a short time... So even when everything is soo good, it can still turn so bad... Just cause smallest thing...

And as u said lina: some people are just empty without that feeling...

I dont think i would exchange security against things like that, for a cost of not being able to truly love.....

And since i posted about it, i wanna also thank all people from this board whose names i'll leave unmentioned, who i listened to me and supported since i came here. It did mean alot to me....

Fuck why am i again getting all sentimental and shit..... :(

i mean, i think we all did.... sunday nite maybe?

[bluegirl]

well put lina

but i dont think people should feel empty without someone

i dont think ur happiness should depend on someone else

u should feel happy by yourself

i guess i used to think like that

but then i found myself settling in a sense

and being in a relationship that i wasnt 100 percent happy in

finally i realized that i could be perfectly happily by myself

and i do have a soulmate, my best friend

her and my family fill that emptiness

and i am never lonely

and they will always be there for me

i now look at a bf as an addition to my life

[nSyNcBaBy]

i hear ya glow... but the thing is.. once u find that someone that u love like the way i explained it, u long for it... u know? and maybe some people, even without having experienced a love like that, long for it also, just because. and i do believe people can be perfectly happy by themselves... its just that feeling u get late at night <kinda like i am right now> when u lay in bed and think about how nice it would be to be layin in someones arms... rather than having to fall asleep alone.

See the things is, the higher you get, the bigger fall you'll take.

truer words have never been spoken.... the more u love someone the harder it is to lose them. thats just the way it goes and i guess thats another reason why some people prefer to be single, so they dont have to worry bout that or deal with heartache... where on the other hand, some people will live in the moment and would rather have that feeling of loving someone and not worrying or thinking about the breaking up part...

You just described my relationship that ended like a week, ago. It hurts to read it so, much.....

im on the same boat babe... and it hurt a lot to write that.

[bluegirl]

truer words have never been spoken.... the more u love someone the harder it is to lose them. thats just the way it goes and i guess thats another reason why some people prefer to be single, so they dont have to worry bout that or deal with heartache... where on the other hand, some people will live in the moment and would rather have that feeling of loving someone and not worrying or thinking about the breaking up part...

yes i think i fall into that category about not dealing with the heartache

i always find something wrong and end it or dont commit

this whole year ive been dating i havent let it get as far as a relationshiip

however i recently met someone that i like

and i have found a few things wrong with him

but i cant end it like i usually do

but i still cant commit

i just hope he can put up with me, haha

<the sex board is getting deep, i think i might cry>

[nSyNcBaBy]

i just like that we can all be here for each other and talk about things like this through a messageboard.. i think its kinda comforting to know that when no one is around to talk to, we can come here and someone is always here to help

[vixenfoxxy]

Yeah, I have taken myself off the market several times (I was for a while, then I got back on and now I'm about to take another sabbatical), but basically I find that my relationships last 3 weeks and are not only unfulfilling but usually hurtful. I find it's better to forget the sexual end of things and concentrate on my friendships, that way I get closer to people then I do with these 3 week tragedies (not that i'm like devastated or anything, it's just not a great deal on my end). And if I'm feeling like I need to get some, I have yet to have a problem finding a willing participants (the ex's from those 3 week relationships make great ones! hahahahhaah)

[crashedfx]

Originally posted by glowdancer

yes i think i fall into that category about not dealing with the heartache

i always find something wrong and end it or dont commit

this whole year ive been dating i havent let it get as far as a relationshiip

however i recently met someone that i like

and i have found a few things wrong with him

but i cant end it like i usually do

but i still cant commit

i just hope he can put up with me, haha

<the sex board is getting deep, i think i might cry>

Will be a test for him.... dont u think... you'll see what hes worth.

Even without commitment, or anything serious... Be considerate and supportive. You know how relationships are, its a 2 way thing. I learned recently that almost any relationship can work on many different levels, as long as both sides have desire to. You know what im sayin'?

And most of all, be straight, make sure you both know exactly whats goin' on and how you both feel. So there wouldnt be any mysteries to wonder around... Cause 1 little thing un-said might kill it all. Please take my word for it, im not speakin from thin air.

And dont spend too much time together.....

I hope it helps any....

[sassa]

I am the loner anyways, I have few friends, but they are the ones I prefer holding on to.I think that having a few good people you can smoke with, hang out, study, talk and go out with and get fucked up are the most amazing people to have in your life, and much more satisfying than having a lot of acquaintances and being "popular".This is what I despise about much of Southern California...everyone here is all about image...it's sad...I saw these really fucked up and dumb looking kids who look like they're in high school renting limos and getting fucked up all around downtown,parking in front of clubs and acting stupid..well,that's another story...but my problem lately is that too many guys are flocking..lol...not to sound pretentious or conceited but I am good looking and I find it hard to leave the house without some nasty asshole whistling at me, or like last night, blowing kisses at me and grabbing my arm...my sleeve....touching my hair...fucking men...(naaaa,I kind of like the attention...I won't lie )but it's better to be single than to be with someone you really don't care about...I wasted 6 months with this asshole I never really cared about and loved merely as a friend until one day I woke up and realized I was in a loveless relationship for the security of it..since then,I've been very happy single,but sometimes I feel that it would be nice to sleep with someone by your side...someone to gaze into your eyes and tell you how special and beautiful you are..someone who surprises you with flowers or a drive to the beach....someone who always shows his love and affection...it's thrilling and so heartwarming to go through....and I swear I am so much more calmer and happier when I'm with someone in many ways....but as I believe, fate will tell for everyone who they'll end up,how and when....

[dgmodel]

Originally posted by glowdancer

i have been noticing many threads dealing with this issue

it seems like i am in the minority

i prefer being single

i hate liking someone

i hate missing them

i think its because i like to feel i am in control of my emotions

and when i like someone i feel i lose this control

so why do u most of u like relationships?

love, etc?

i think they bring more sadness, difficulties, then being single does

well thats my opinion

how long have you been single for?

and were you ever in love???

[deeprock]

Originally posted by glowdancer

i have been noticing many threads dealing with this issue

it seems like i am in the minority

i prefer being single

i hate liking someone

i hate missing them

i think its because i like to feel i am in control of my emotions

and when i like someone i feel i lose this control

so why do u most of u like relationships?

love, etc?

i think they bring more sadness, difficulties, then being single does

well thats my opinion

Ditto. I've been single for 5 years and have no qualms about it whatsoever. I choose it to be that way; it's not cause I can't get women. I have many close female friends that fill any void of loneliness I ever may feel. When you're single, you're almost entirely responsible for your own happiness. When you're in a relationship, you're happiness is often measured by how healthy your relationship is. I just don't like that idea of relying on someone for my happiness. I like the fact that socially independent. And I don't like how relationships are emotional rollercoasters--too much of a headache. Plus I get bored easily--the novelty factor wears off quickly on me most times. But hey, if a relationship comes my way, I'll adapt, but I'm certainly not actively pursuing anything---it's not something i NEED, it's something I expect I'll stumble upon in the future. Back to work.

:book:

[bluegirl]

Originally posted by dgmodel

how long have you been single for?

and were you ever in love???

well this entire year i wasnt in any relationships

i mean i had a few that lasted for a few months, but there was no commitment

as far as being in love

i have felt very strongly for someone

however my definition of love also includes the test of time

so if i no longer want to be with that person, then i dont think it was love

[bluegirl]

Originally posted by deeprock

Ditto. I've been single for 5 years and have no qualms about it whatsoever. I choose it to be that way; it's not cause I can't get women. I have many close female friends that fill any void of loneliness I ever may feel. When you're single, you're almost entirely responsible for your own happiness. When you're in a relationship, you're happiness is often measured by how healthy your relationship is. I just don't like that idea of relying on someone for my happiness. I like the fact that socially independent. And I don't like how relationships are emotional rollercoasters--too much of a headache. Plus I get bored easily--the novelty factor wears off quickly on me most times. But hey, if a relationship comes my way, I'll adapt, but I'm certainly not actively pursuing anything---it's not something i NEED, it's something I expect I'll stumble upon in the future. Back to work.

:book:

thats exactly how i feel

i guess i'm not the only one, ha

[starcapone]

I don't know anymore! I've never been in a serious relationship where I actually really liked or fell in love with the person. I think I want that type of relationship, but then again I'm content with the single status. If the right one comes along, I'm sure I'll know!

[nrgy112]

wow, you people are depressing me, thanks to Lina Bina, I now even feel worse about being single, When I read that first post, it really upset me, cause all that stuff is what I miss about being in a relationship. :(

[nSyNcBaBy]

Originally posted by nrgy112

wow, you people are depressing me, thanks to Lina Bina, I now even feel worse about being single, When I read that first post, it really upset me, cause all that stuff is what I miss about being in a relationship. :(

im sorry!!! i didnt mean to depress u.. or anyone... but hey- i described my own recent relationship to a t with that post and im dealing, right? so... time heals all wounds... and like cintron told me "theres one thing i learned about life.... it goes on" also..... "never frown, because u never know who is falling in love with ur smile"...

[gandoron]

Being in love with someone and knowing that they love you is the best feeling on earth. The looks across the table, the long walks together, the fun afternoons cooking a fabulous dinner, the sun breaking through the windows waking you up so you can look down at the most beautiful women in the world asleep in your arms.

You just can't experience all this without a relationship. Of course when it ends, it hurts...a lot, I know because I'm dealing with that now. But it's worth it, the memories I'll have for a lifetime. =)

Gandoron

[Guest gabo]

I prefer being single... I did the whole having a gf for years thing and now I want to single for a while.

[ablane]

i think i'm in the worst of both situations! i prefer being single but always wind up in long-term relationships...lol. maybe i need glowdancer to treat me like a man would for a while.....

[tastyt]

You're young... I felt the same way when I was your age (ok suddenly I feel like a grandma or something). I don't think I really wanted anything serious until maybe 6 months ago. However I was then in the middle of a relationship I wanted out of! Talk about irony.

It's really all about where your head's at... sometimes you definitely need to be by yourself. It's good to be independent, but eventually it comes to the point where it takes even more courage to let yourself go and just go with your emotions. And you have to do it eventually... because who really wants to go through their entire life alone?

But I don't think any of us have to worry about that just yet!

[entheogen8]

oops

[entheogen8]

Originally posted by glowdancer

finally i realized that i could be perfectly happily by myself

and i do have a soulmate, my best friend

her and my family fill that emptiness

and i am never lonely

and they will always be there for me

i now look at a bf as an addition to my life

I'm with you on that one glowdancer. I see a girlfriend as an addition to my life, a supplement to my happiness, not a necessity. I have a tight knit circle of friends that keep me satisfied spiritually and emotionally. I've never felt like I NEEDED a girlfriend, though lately I feel like I want a girlfriend. I feel like I've reached a point in my life where I'm ready to share myself with someone else and allow someone inside to a point that few have been, and no one has been in a while.

Love stinks...the pain...but I'm a bit of a masochist, so bring it on!!!

[bluegirl]

Originally posted by ablane

i think i'm in the worst of both situations! i prefer being single but always wind up in long-term relationships...lol. maybe i need glowdancer to treat me like a man would for a while.....

u will probably like it if i do, ha