mfiorellino Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamperaccording to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see yourhusband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mentalnote-must do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, longloofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhancedwith natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for tenminutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake bodywash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it hasall come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area butdecide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and youlose the water pressure. 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spotswith Tilex. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a smallcountry. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweezehairs. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel onhead. 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposedareas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and half getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed andleave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along theway shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in yourgut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinseit off. 9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates andsurrounding area. 11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soapbar. 12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 13. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirroragain. 15. Pee (in the shower). 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water onthe floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wienersize again. 19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 20. Leave bathroom fan and light on. 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If youpass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again. 22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klohe Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuturephunk Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 . . . . . . ya know . . sometimes I just love to acknowledge the fact that I'm a guy and how awesome it is to be one . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tottallyoff Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 That's my technique! You stole it! You will die! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ggfella4 Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 thats awesome... :laugh: a lot of it is very true too.peace outgianni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycmuzik Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 :laugh: ........Classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 :laugh: Very funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted January 29 Report Share Posted January 29 Originally posted by homersimpson 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along theway shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breakbeatz2 Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 woo-woo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgrlnyc Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 Originally posted by homersimpson HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and youlose the water pressure. ...and the water either increases or decreases by 30 Degrees, so then you peek out of the shower and watch him make that evil GriN...and then proceeds to put the water faucet on for just a second do he can hear your response...and then walks out of the bathroom GiGGLiNG... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennEfer Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 All too true... kinda...Jenn's shower:1)Undress and turn the water on and wait for it to get warm.2)When in shower... shampoo3)Wash body with washcloth with dove moisterizing soap.4)Rinse out shampoo5)Condition hair6)Shave armpits, legs, and others7)Wash body with citris basil body wash8)Rinse conditioner thoroughly9)Wash face10)Exit shower, dry myself off, get dressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonStephen Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 What happened to the jerking off part???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bebby Posted January 30 Report Share Posted January 30 LOL>. some lady brought this to work the other day.. i was hysterical laughing.. it hurt!!! This stuff is sooo true.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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