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happykittn

Single for the first time in 3 years.

16 posts in this topic

Originally posted by happykittn

I don't even know where to begin.

:(

Sad,

~kitten

Start with some free time to yourself... live your life... be single for a lil bit... experience some more things, see the world... see life! and then close your eyes and the rest will follow... Good Luck!

(Oh and post on Cp...)

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Thanks dgmodel... I'm just wondering how long it "should" be until I start another relationship, and how long the "healing process" shoud take. I think it's a good thing I attend an all-female college right now...

I'll take your advice about posting on CP,

~kitten

Originally posted by dgmodel

Start with some free time to yourself... live your life... be single for a lil bit... experience some more things, see the world... see life! and then close your eyes and the rest will follow... Good Luck!

(Oh and post on Cp...)

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you cant predict love... and you cant predict when its gonna happen... but the best way to predict the future is to live it... dont go out looking for anything... trust me... just go out have fun... and itll find you... ;):D:tongue:

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Awww, thanks hon... :) Guess I'll sit tight and see what happens... went to a fetish rave a couple nights after we broke up, met Ron Jeremy, that definitely helped take my mind off things for awhile!

Good night hugs,

~kitten >^.^<

Originally posted by dgmodel

you cant predict love... and you cant predict when its gonna happen... but the best way to predict the future is to live it... dont go out looking for anything... trust me... just go out have fun... and itll find you... ;):D:tongue:

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one of my gf's just recently faced this (and atcually i was you about 3 years ago, too) but you have to go through the "healing stages" --

:confused: " the shock" - omg what am i gonna do w/o him

:( "the crying" - reminscing and asking what happened?

:blown: "the angry, Fuck him" -- i believe this is the big turning point in the process. swear and curse him out. think about all the things that annoy the sh_t outta you. which leads to

:idea: "i am better off without him" - this is when you start to collect yourself and you believe that there is life after. between this and the "angry, fuck him" stage is when you should start going out and enjoy being single.

you could possibly turn to the "rebel" some ppl go the extreme on this one and others skip this altogether. its you go out and you PARTY HARD. (usually involved hooking up iwth everything and anything in site) Nothing wrong with playing the "kissing bandit" on a given night, but dont be playing wtih your ex's friends. This is done to get the ex's attention and they just get even more angry and your plan backfires and then you go back to Stage one all over again.. *warning* proceed at your own risk with this stage -- guys prey on girls on this stage too!

:) "the closure" hmmm one day you will get the feeling that you dont want to call him anymore and you dont think about what could have been and/or what should have been. you are happy with "it" and you move on. dont get this confused though with jumping into anOther relationship with a guy (aka "THE REBOUND") and misdirecting the feelings there.

there is no time limit on how long this should take. i think the first 4 stages are relatively fast... ususally from one week to a month. the last one is the tricky part.

and how long before you start another relationship... again there is no time limit. i am not saying that you should cross off guys during this time periods but i i told my friend if something is to come up (ie an invitation for a date) then go out and have fun. going out on dates is fun, if you have been with your ex for 3 years then i am sure you haven't been in the whole "dating/courtin" scene and its interesting to say the least.

the last REAL relationship i was in I broke up with him primarily bc i wanted to be single. I didnt want the responsibilities of a bf anymore. i dont care what anyone says but you make a decison you really have to think about the other person at hand too (whether they are present or not) and how they would feel and/or affect them. go and paryt wtih your friends and have fun. be stupid or silly... etc

but dont rush into anything bc then it could turn into a rebound and thats no good at all. you will just put yourself in a stick situation

It is true what they say though that "when you least expect it, you will find someone"

i dont know. i hope this helps. good luck :)

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1) Love yourself now more than ever & rebuild your true identity.

2) Go out and do ALL of the things you've wanted to do in the past three years but couldn't.

3) Don't care how long it will be until the next one, LOVE is always arounf the corner..... but if you go looking for it you usually end up on the wrong block.

;)

Peace,

DOC~B

"tending to ALL your psychosexual needs since 1980"

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Originally posted by b-side

1) Love yourself now more than ever & rebuild your true identity.

2) Go out and do ALL of the things you've wanted to do in the past three years but couldn't.

3) Don't care how long it will be until the next one, LOVE is always arounf the corner..... but if you go looking for it you usually end up on the wrong block.

;)

Peace,

DOC~B

"tending to ALL your psychosexual needs since 1980"

good advice.

... go out and do what YOU want for a change :D

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apples ~ :balloon:

nycchic24 & b-side ~ that was fantastic advice... I'm beginning to realize I have compromised a lot of what *I've* wanted in our relationship, and am getting a little excited about the fact that I'll get to be me and do what *I* want... :) !! nycchic24, I think I'm still stuck at "the crying" part right now, but hopefully that'll pass soon. I'm running out of Kleenix!

Appreciative of all the relationship insight on CP,

~kitten >^.^<

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Originally posted by nycchic24

one of my gf's just recently faced this (and atcually i was you about 3 years ago, too) but you have to go through the "healing stages" --

:confused: " the shock" - omg what am i gonna do w/o him

:( "the crying" - reminscing and asking what happened?

:blown: "the angry, Fuck him" -- i believe this is the big turning point in the process. swear and curse him out. think about all the things that annoy the sh_t outta you. which leads to

:idea: "i am better off without him" - this is when you start to collect yourself and you believe that there is life after. between this and the "angry, fuck him" stage is when you should start going out and enjoy being single.

you could possibly turn to the "rebel" some ppl go the extreme on this one and others skip this altogether. its you go out and you PARTY HARD. (usually involved hooking up iwth everything and anything in site) Nothing wrong with playing the "kissing bandit" on a given night, but dont be playing wtih your ex's friends. This is done to get the ex's attention and they just get even more angry and your plan backfires and then you go back to Stage one all over again.. *warning* proceed at your own risk with this stage -- guys prey on girls on this stage too!

:) "the closure" hmmm one day you will get the feeling that you dont want to call him anymore and you dont think about what could have been and/or what should have been. you are happy with "it" and you move on. dont get this confused though with jumping into anOther relationship with a guy (aka "THE REBOUND") and misdirecting the feelings there.

there is no time limit on how long this should take. i think the first 4 stages are relatively fast... ususally from one week to a month. the last one is the tricky part.

and how long before you start another relationship... again there is no time limit. i am not saying that you should cross off guys during this time periods but i i told my friend if something is to come up (ie an invitation for a date) then go out and have fun. going out on dates is fun, if you have been with your ex for 3 years then i am sure you haven't been in the whole "dating/courtin" scene and its interesting to say the least.

the last REAL relationship i was in I broke up with him primarily bc i wanted to be single. I didnt want the responsibilities of a bf anymore. i dont care what anyone says but you make a decison you really have to think about the other person at hand too (whether they are present or not) and how they would feel and/or affect them. go and paryt wtih your friends and have fun. be stupid or silly... etc

but dont rush into anything bc then it could turn into a rebound and thats no good at all. you will just put yourself in a stick situation

It is true what they say though that "when you least expect it, you will find someone"

i dont know. i hope this helps. good luck :)

perfectly said..........

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Originally posted by somebitch

good advice.

... go out and do what YOU want for a change :D

exactly..... dont let anyone tell u u cant.... its YOUR life... live it for u. :)

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Try being single after FIVE years of living with someone..

In the end I lost my dog..

my apartment..

and my heart.

I don't think I ever want to go through that again.

You want my advise?

STAY SINGLE!

HAVE FUN...

and learn to love yourself!

Thats' something I have to

work on..

Rebuilding a bruised ego

isn't all that easy.

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Originally posted by nycchic24

one of my gf's just recently faced this (and atcually i was you about 3 years ago, too) but you have to go through the "healing stages" --

:confused: " the shock" - omg what am i gonna do w/o him

:( "the crying" - reminscing and asking what happened?

:blown: "the angry, Fuck him" -- i believe this is the big turning point in the process. swear and curse him out. think about all the things that annoy the sh_t outta you. which leads to

:idea: "i am better off without him" - this is when you start to collect yourself and you believe that there is life after. between this and the "angry, fuck him" stage is when you should start going out and enjoy being single.

you could possibly turn to the "rebel" some ppl go the extreme on this one and others skip this altogether. its you go out and you PARTY HARD. (usually involved hooking up iwth everything and anything in site) Nothing wrong with playing the "kissing bandit" on a given night, but dont be playing wtih your ex's friends. This is done to get the ex's attention and they just get even more angry and your plan backfires and then you go back to Stage one all over again.. *warning* proceed at your own risk with this stage -- guys prey on girls on this stage too!

:) "the closure" hmmm one day you will get the feeling that you dont want to call him anymore and you dont think about what could have been and/or what should have been. you are happy with "it" and you move on. dont get this confused though with jumping into anOther relationship with a guy (aka "THE REBOUND") and misdirecting the feelings there.

there is no time limit on how long this should take. i think the first 4 stages are relatively fast... ususally from one week to a month. the last one is the tricky part.

and how long before you start another relationship... again there is no time limit. i am not saying that you should cross off guys during this time periods but i i told my friend if something is to come up (ie an invitation for a date) then go out and have fun. going out on dates is fun, if you have been with your ex for 3 years then i am sure you haven't been in the whole "dating/courtin" scene and its interesting to say the least.

the last REAL relationship i was in I broke up with him primarily bc i wanted to be single. I didnt want the responsibilities of a bf anymore. i dont care what anyone says but you make a decison you really have to think about the other person at hand too (whether they are present or not) and how they would feel and/or affect them. go and paryt wtih your friends and have fun. be stupid or silly... etc

but dont rush into anything bc then it could turn into a rebound and thats no good at all. you will just put yourself in a stick situation

It is true what they say though that "when you least expect it, you will find someone"

i dont know. i hope this helps. good luck :)

I agree with all this but I think the stages last longer for different people. The first two stages for me were the most painful and long. I was in those phases for a good 3 months and it sucked. Kitten I hope all works out

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