gropasaurus Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Having spent the last 3 years at the JERSEY SHORE, I find it hard to believe that these lame fucking Hamptons house parties I hear about full of obnoxious skanks with out of shape guido and guidette wanna beez can outweigh a night spent in Belmar or Seaside. The daily routine a Jerseyshoreite endures just overwhelms the competition. For example, on a Saturday I'll wake up around 10am still wasted, somewhat blind and covered in sparkles from the random guidette monster lying next to me (sometimes more than one) that I picked up from DJAIS the night before and I plowed all night until finally passing out at some point. If it's raining out, I'll pass back out for a few hours after sending the broad on her way. If it's sunny, I'll kick her out, round up the crew, get ready for the beach and walk a mere block or two to the sand, picking up several gatorades and meso-tech bars on the way, not to mention oiling up to optimize our exposure to the glorious rays. We'll position ourselves strategically within a predetermined proximity in order to maximize our exposure to both the sun and HOT SEX MONSTERS!!! Hopefully, some guidos brought stereos to the beach so we can fist pump to Final Chapter and an infinite array of quality guido trax as the guidettes admire our hair, physiques, designer bathing suits, conversastions about masonry and landscaping and the occassional "how you doin?" In the early afternoon we'll seek optimal sources of protein, but sometimes we require 3 Brothers or Atilla's pizza to absorb the red bulls and vodka we consumed the prior night. After getting back to our bungalos, we'll play some wiffleball and start drinking, soon after preparnig for Happy Hour at DJAIS or SurfClub. By 8pm we'll be pretty hammered, and might decide to just stay out the rest of the night without changing if things are going well, but usually we'll return to or bungalos, shower up and get pimped out in extra tight shirts with no sleeves and some sort of designer pants or capris. We'll be pounding red bulls and vodka and blasting house music as we get ready for the gropefest that's soon to begin, occassionally wondering how many tiny tube top white pant wearing sparkle covered guidette monsters we plan on slaying. Headliners and Tempts will be the two optimal spots to hit up, so we'll make the decision and unleash hell. Sundays require a few more hours of sleep, but very similar to Saturday. Only difference is that you have to search for your clothes, D&G and Versace cologne, car keys, wallet...etc. before you go out, b/c I, for instance, have to return to work in the city on Monday, so I can only go out until midnite the latest (DJAIS SUNDAY NIGHT HAPPY HOUR INSANE AND FULL OF STRIPPERS!!!), but SurfClub followed by Tempts is always a popular place to be as well. SO TELL ME, HOW DOES THE HAMPTONS COMPARE??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unclebuc Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 besides making me laugh my ass off....you make some valid points.....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest saleen351 Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Hey grop you should write movies I'd think you'd be great at it.Maybee a Jersey shore movie..... approp named "The Final Chapter" writen by gropasaurus, directed by Kevin Smith staring Vinnie Barborino..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyblackroc Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by saleen351 Hey grop you should write movies I'd think you'd be great at it.Maybee a Jersey shore movie..... approp named "The Final Chapter" writen by gropasaurus, directed by Kevin Smith staring Vinnie Barborino..... Or we could call it "Behind Bars", written bt F. Lee Bailey and GROPASAURAUS, starring the shore personalities of Pete the Greek and Big Sal, complete with leather L.L. J KANGOL hat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceeotter Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Here is what I am thinging.......GROPE-O-ASS THE FINAL CHAPTER...(camera fades into a closeup of the doors of Temps)Grope-ass's skinny ass fall out onto the sidewalk--too much G again--guidettes clawing at is back out of fear he may try to enter into Temps again and moleste them---OOOPPPPS one of their nails has punctured his clalf implant OOOHHHHHH NNNOOOOOOO another one has punctured his pec implants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Help someone help" is being screamed by Jersey Joel. Meanwhile Grop is screaming are you laughing at me? Do I amuse U? What am I a clown? Then the crowd SCREAMS YES YOU ARE A CLOWN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceeotter Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Originally posted by ceeotter Here is what I am thinging.......GROPE-O-ASS THE FINAL CHAPTER...(camera fades into a closeup of the doors of Temps)Grope-ass's skinny ass fall out onto the sidewalk--too much G again--guidettes clawing at is back out of fear he may try to enter into Temps again and moleste them---OOOPPPPS one of their nails has punctured his clalf implant OOOHHHHHH NNNOOOOOOO another one has punctured his pec implants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Help someone help" is being screamed by Jersey Joel. Meanwhile Grop is screaming are you laughing at me? Do I amuse U? What am I a clown? Then the crowd SCREAMS YES YOU ARE A CLOWN! Oh yes and right before the scene fades to close Tempkid pushes his way through the crowd and throws his Denny Cd at grope's head and knocks him out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karch Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 LMAO!!! :laugh: One of the bests posts I ever read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 Your the Jersey Shore's Sheakespeare. Pure poetry. I was almost moved to rears. Ther's aburning in my loins to ge back to Tempts as soon as possible. Guido's unite. Salud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichi_gami Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 Simple explanation:Hamptons = Jersey Shore = At least, that's the way my family has always seen (and usually travelled to) the two.ichi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tunnelbandit Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 They both suck.Where's the battle:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammy Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 OMG I can atest his descriptions are ALL TRUE...I actually know a bunch of guys that settle in Belmar every summer and that what they did all weekend. Same azz setup. I swear! I spent a few weekends in them parts and if I were a guidette, I probably would have written the same thing. I think I might be heading down to Tempts sometime this summer, haven't been there since '00!-Jamms "iknowavinnythegineaandapappajoe" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvdaclubs22 Posted February 15 Report Share Posted February 15 Hahahahah that was great!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f0xyminx Posted February 18 Report Share Posted February 18 www.roxyguy.netfirms.comcan't help but bring it up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted February 18 Report Share Posted February 18 This thread is a riot, and has some decent points to it......I guess it all depends on what you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceeotter Posted February 18 Report Share Posted February 18 Originally posted by SPYGIRL2 This thread is a riot, and has some decent points to it......I guess it all depends on what you like. HEY spygirl what up??????Where were you SAT????There were a few peeps looking for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarletpromos Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 jersey shore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danfury Posted February 19 Report Share Posted February 19 Gropasauraus,you completly described my shore house's routine every weekend......this is f'n hysterical :laugh: ........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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