Belmar Vs. Seaside

[karch]

HAHA love this post. Truely a classic. Can't believe I read all of it too. Too bad Seaside lost:(

[thesandman]

Great post, someone has more free time than me.

My 2 cents:

Once you turn 25 Belmar really sucks

Djais= over rated, some hot girls but mostly trash

No night life in Belmar, your best bet is to play Extreme Bingo at the Tropical Pub on Sunday afternoon. Bar A blows ass.

Seaside has the 4 AM rule which is reason enough to like it better dispite the many flaws it too has.

oh yea, Cops suck either way.

[32oots]

This post is being passed through the email system like a virus. You should make some money off this sh*t.

[dibs]

Originally posted by dancensmile

It's all about... SEASIDE -- Island Beach during the day & dancing ALL night... to me Belmar doesn't compare...

O' really?? So, what r u doing Memorial Weekend?? I need to talk to ya.

[dancensmile]

Originally posted by dibs

O' really?? So, what r u doing Memorial Weekend?? I need to talk to ya.

Yeah really I don't like the sleezside part of Seaside... but the clubs and beaches I prefer over Belmar... WE are Partying and dancing all weekend Memorial Weekend! That's what WE are doing! u know the #

[sweetumzz]

im peeing my pants laughing!!!!

[Diana]

I honestly think that I was ONE of the funniest things I have ever read on this poor excuse for a message board.

Thanks for actually making something worth while to read - lol!

[sexyinthecity]

Originally posted by monsterguido46

.

I've actually noticed some guidos walking around with syringes still insereted in the fourth quadrant of their glutes on several occasions at Tempts...one time I even saw a guidette monster with one still in her who was shooting up Winstrol!!! Seaside 10, Belmar 7.

Fucking classic

That is so funny.

I personally like Belmar beach so much better than Seaside. Reason being on the beach in Seaside its pretty dirty and you may wind up with one of those leftover syringes from a crackhead in your ass.

[sydnie]

def THE best thread ever (by far) *applause* and yes i read it word for word! Five Stars... I'm Belmar all the way except seaside for sat parties and it's 4 am closings...

ps - there are after hours in belmar, just need to know the right peeps. afterhours till ???

[barbiegirl]

i got this as an e-mail and will admit, i forwarded it

it's pretty funny if you have the time to read !!

i love the jersey shore !!

give me a rum runner, some good music, a beach chair and friends

it doesn't matter where you are at that point - ENJOY the sun !!

[johnneebee]

Originally posted by sydnie

def THE best thread ever (by far) *applause* and yes i read it word for word! Five Stars... I'm Belmar all the way except seaside for sat parties and it's 4 am closings...

ps - there are after hours in belmar, just need to know the right peeps. afterhours till ???

the right peep

Belmar after hours...my house..

friday nights..B.Y.O.B., S, W & whatever else you wanna bring..but bring one extra for me is all I ask:D

[thehype]

great thread

[dibs]

great thread

[Jsen7]

Only thing sleaside has going is the nightlife(clubs, bars, boardwalk)

Belmar +'s: beach, day parties and afterhour parties at the house & a broad area of summer house rentals near the beach which enables you to roam around the hood to meet new peeps and drop by other house parties.

[deeelite1]

I heard Belmar has a SICKKKKK Funnel cake stand tho......?!?

[djaldo]

This is clearly a very sensitive topic that has been avoided up until this point in time, but I feel it must be addressed once and for all, and who better to address it than I.

In the past, we've both witnessed and engaged in battles such as "Guidos vs. Preps", "D&G vs. Abercrombie", "Red bull n' Vodka vs. Coors Light" and even "NJ Shore vs. Hamptons", but this battle quite possibly represents the fiercest competition of all time. The significance behind this match-up is quite simple: the nation's two elite guido communities concentrated in central NJ from Memorial Day to Labor Day separated by a mere 16 exits on the NJ Parkway going head to head in a battle that will decide who deserves the Guido rights to the NJ Shore. As the stakes on the line here are quite significant to say the very least, I am aware of the potential unrest this will ignite within our guido community. Therefore, I must stress the fact that each are world class competitors and deserve to be treated as such, so please be respectful b/c we are each blood guidos and guidettes.

This battle will be judged on 6 different categories that are most essential to a guido's/guidette's summer, and each competitor will be awarded a score between 1-10, 10 being the highest. The scores will then be summed in order to arrive at the NJ Shore Master. I'm so excited right now that my fist is pumping involuntarily out of control!!! The categories include: Best Beach, Biggest Juice Heads, Hottest Guidette Monsters, Best Happy Hour, Best Clubs and last but not least, Best Chances of Getting Laid. For the record, Headliner's will be included in the Belmar corner, and Surf Club in Seaside's.

Best Beach

This will probably be the easiest category to judge. From its soft sand and clean water to its densely populated guido and guidette incumbants who are for the most part in their 20s, and from its stereos pumping the latest guido trax to the likelihood of running into every person you ever slept with, Belmar takes this category by a landslide...a solid 10. Seaside beaches are packed with a bunch of low-lives, most of whom don't even have green cards let alone US citizenship, and these low-lives are either families or little scumbag teenagers with no muscularity or gel in their hair hoping to find some change or left-over pizza in the sand, and later spend time practicing pathetic tricks on their skateboards along the disgustingly filthy boardwalk. The beach in Ortley that surrounds Surf Club is the only reason Seaside scored a 7 in this category, but even Surf Club couldn't make up for the trash its neighboring beach populates...what a shame.

Biggest Juice Heads

The results of this category will even things up on the playing field. While I've seen my share of absolute beasts walking in Belmar and hanging out in DJAIS, I'm dumbfounded every summer by the amount of steroid freaks hanging out in Surf Club, but especially at Tempts. I've actually noticed some guidos walking around with syringes still insereted in the fourth quadrant of their glutes on several occasions at Tempts...one time I even saw a guidette monster with one still in her who was shooting up Winstrol!!! Seaside 10, Belmar 7.

Hottest Guidette Monsters

This is clearly a very controversial category. DJAIS is always packed with NJ, Staten Island and Long Islang guidette monsters on Fridays nights, Saturdays for Happy Hour and Sundays for both Happy hour and late night, and Headliner's clearly populates quite a number of these sex beasts on Saturday nights. These two match up almost evenly to Surf Club and Tempts, but I'm leaning more towards Seaside in this category, especially b/c of other places like Excess and even Bamboo and Bermuda Club, although the pickings are quite slim here usually. Seaside simply attracts a bigger crowd of guidette monsters, so the number of hot sex beasts will clearly be more...in other words, there's a larger quantity of quality guidettes in Seaside than Belmar, but it's definitely a close call. Seaside 10, Belmar 8.

Best Happy Hour

Even my dad knows the brand name and reputation DJAIS brings to the table when it comes to Happy Hour. Whether you're indulging in the free buffet and half-price drinks on Friday from 5-9 while watching a bunch of dumb sluts and gay guido wanna beez perform kareoke on stage, or half-priced drinks and reduced admission on Saturday from 3-7, or most importantly the Sunday happy hour that prepares you for the outrageous number of strippers and hard core guidette monsters that will show up later in the evening, DJAIS is by far a leader in the Happy Hour industry. Surf Club is not to be judged lightly, b/c it attracts quite a crowd of sex monsters and juiced up guidos without necks to enhance the atmosphere, but DJAIS takes the putang pie here...not to mention the fact that when the weather's shitty, DJAIS is still good, while Surf Club usually is not...main reason is that the guidettes prefer the enclosure and protection from the rain that DJAIS' offers in order to prevent their layers of make-up and sparkles from running...whatever it takes for you monsters to look good, just do it. Belmar 10, Seaside 9.

Best Clubs

While DJAIS and Headliner (notice I won't even mention BAR-A...I'm embarrassed of its existence!!!) offer great music, awesome atmosphere, tons of hot guidette monsters and a very close proximity/walking distance to 3 brothers pizza and your house no matter what street it's on (I've done the hotel-behind-Headliner's walk of shame back to my house in Belmar on several occassions...those fuckin' cabs just wouldn't stop for a shirtless guido at 10am!!!), Seaside just overwhelms the competition...staying open a few extra hours doesn't hurt either!!! You're garruanteed a sick night whether you go to Surf Club then Tempts, or just straight up Tempts on any given Saturday night, and Sundays as well. The energy, music, 4am closing and atmosphere including some of the best built guidos and guidettes you'll ever meet is a complete trip...there's just nothing like it except for SF in the tri-state area, let the entire country (in terms of worldwide, Ibiza clubs put it to shame, but that's another topic). Additionally, all of the juice head guido monsters that want to show off and flex their pecs and lats all night can do so without the confines of shirts...it can get quite disgusting when you're dripping with other guidos sweat, but it's part of the whole experience. Seaside 10, Belmar 9.

Best Chance of Getting Laid

Just as the tides were beginning to turn in favor of Seaside, Belmar comes back with a strong performance in this category. Without a doubt, you have a much better chance of getting laid in Belmar than Seaside. The primary reason involves the close proximity of happy hour and nightlife to your house...I can't even count the number of times I've taken guidettes back to my house mid-way through a DJAIS happy hour, banged the shit out of them, kicked them out, jumped in the shower, and then pregamed for night-time, which also tended to result in me taking home or going back to some beasts house for a night of slaying, biting, screaming and releasing...if I really liked her, even spooning at times. Secondly, the level of music is loud but not to the extent you'll experience at Tempts which destroys any chance of having a decent conversation with one of these beasts, unless you're into the screaming at the top of your lungs thing. Finally, the way the houses are laid out and frequent house parties throughout the day make it incredibly easy to meet a substantial number of sex monsters in the morning, afternoon or evening, which allows you to establish yourself as the mid-day or late night booty call master, always guaranteeing yourself some ass.

Belmar 10, Seaside 7.

BELMAR WINS, BELMAR WINS, BELMAR WINS!!! As suspected, it was close, but Belmar pulled it off by 1 and as a result has been awarded the title and all of the rights connected and pertaining to THE NJ SHORE MASTER!!!

way to much to read ...way to much time on your hands lol j/k

[stiffler]

that post is over 2yrs old

[ready2roll]

that post is over 2yrs old

thats what I was thinking