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guys: favorite one-liners?


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just wondering what you guys use as sexual one-liners or what you use to interrupt her current thought train.

i´m making a start:

"Actually, I wasn't listening. I just like to watch your lips move."

this is so gold, especially when she´s blabbing all kinds of stuff you´re not interested in :tongue:

i read here about the "nipple game", lol please someone explain :laugh:

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1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!!!!!

9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,

could I meet you between the holidays?

10. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you

or eat you!

11. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and

I'll put my head in.

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ok how about:

You: "All my friends said I was too intelligent to become a Porn Star"


You: "But its HARDER than it looks, you have to be really good to MAKE IT BIG in the biz..."


me: Do you know there's one word in the English language that will universally make someone smile?"

her:"really, which word is that?"


bring it on fellas :D

ps: would someone please explain the "nipple game" to me :tongue:

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Here are a bunch i remember friends saying/using (always in the presence of lots of alcohol)...some may be off a bit because practice makes perfect and... well ya figure it out:

->I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you

->What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine

->Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package

->You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy

->So what haven't you been told tonight?

->What do you say we go back to my place and do some math? Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!

->Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead

->Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

->I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand

& finally:

->I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make the BED ROCK


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1) me - "Do you like apples?

you - :"yes, why?

me - " well how about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you? Howya Like them apples"

2) "Your lips would make a lolli pop very happy"

3) Start off.."This really isn't a line..seriously........."

4) "I'm drunk...wanna get Pizza" (Z)

to many to list all....

P.S. - Any guys who use any of these in a serious tone and are really serious when they say them should just:blown:

wahoo you got some good onse I never heard before...:laugh:

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Originally posted by fierydesire

guys are such dumbasses:rolleyes: :tongue:

well thank you :rolleyes:

*licks his index finger with his tounge*

*puts index finger on your dress*

"now let´s get you outta these wet clothes" :tongue:

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