FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them.. PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room. UROLOGIST: Someone who looks at your penis with disdain, touches it with disgust, then charges you as if he'd sucked it. LOVE: Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots. DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire. HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women. INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex. PITIFUL: Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose. TONGUE: Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech. MONOGAMY: Repressed polygamy. NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn. NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does. TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others. INTERVIEW: That which can be seen between the interviewee's legs. ETERNITY: Period of time which lasts from when you finished until when you leave her in her house. EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man. HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions. IMPATIENCE: Waiting in a hurry. INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get". QUANTUM PHYSICS: A black man, looking in the shadows for a black cat ~~