We are on the same page here. I usually use a vibrator (The Pocket Rocket - a *must* for any well rounded collection ) or my fingers. Circular motion? Yeah, sometimes, or back and forth, up and down... it varies. Bummer yer boys not into it... An ex of mine once was working me with this big dildo (The Realistic - OMG, the best! Worth *every* penny! And it vibrates too...) and going down on me at the same time... purrrrrr.... meow, meow! I'd tell the boy tho, it'll come out eventually and he might be hurt that you didn't tell. Also maybe it'll make him think about getting in on it. Toys can never replace the real thing, of course. XO, G