This crew now has gained undoubtedly, the most significant, influential, and divine creature to ever grace the internet, let alone the universe. That's right, ME....Shlonger. I dare any other to step into my dome, as I will leave you with a feeling of frustration, awe, and envy. The contours of my body are carefully crafted and carved, that you will know such a creation is indeniably celestial, if not God himself; the equivalent of German precision with regards to enigineering. Ladies would need one calendar year, without sleep, to trace every line in my stomach alone. I dont need to introduce myself to anyone. If you need to find me, just look for the multitude of females, gasping for air, as I stroll by unfazed with the blowjob I am getting from YOUR girlfriend. My sheer touch alone makes women quiver as if they were an earthquake. My arms are scaled prototypes for jumbo jets. Call me Narcissustic, but when I look in the mirror every morning, I only regret one thing... Why couldn't I have been more athletic rather than soooo BEAUTIFUL and STUNNING. It's a cruel world... I do not state these facts with arrogance, however, I do state them with conviction. The truth is what it is, and if I deny any of these material facts, I would be doing an injustice to the world, but more importantly, I would be lying to myself first. I do not go near pools, rivers, lakes, or oceans, as I fear I may drown after being captivated and mesmerized by the relfection of myself in the water. For I am to blame for high insurance rates and 80% of car accidents caused in the state of NJ, due to the inevitable events of copious amounts of broken necks of people attempting and hoping to catch a glimpse of me. To all whom I've caused this grief and agony, I apologize, and hope I am vindicated of all wrong-doing...for it is not my fault, that the combination of my parents genome would produce such a transcendant phenotype. I leave with just one more thought... chosen0ne, Are you going to bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite.