shlonger

Wrong...ass! I didnt make it to DJais on Fri, I was too busy conquering your girlfriend.

Well since you are a girl, then you should have no quams sucking in easy.

I am the foundation for the jersey shore... if i go down, which is impossible, then the whole scene goes with me. I am the greatest, and you should all bow down to me, and ask to kiss the ground I walk on... See my new thread for a weekend recap and more HOLY SCRIPTURES.

wow, 2 in one day randall. check out my new thread, because it certainly applies to you. I know who you are randy. You are one of those mid-30's guys who cant let go of their college experiences. I see you at clubs getting rejected by all the girls who were 10 when you were 25. Suck it easy asshole.

First and foremost, I would like to begin by apologizing for the inconvenience myself, and my crew, may have caused anyone this weekend. Explanation: We were the first 5 people to walk into the doors of Joey's Surf Club on Sunday, and our general presence, electricity, and hotness were a combustible mixture of ingredients which caused the fire that sent many of you, including ourselves, scurrying back to DJais. It is now 12:57 a.m., and my conclusion for the weekend is that I left with one regret. I regret the fact that I am not a mere mortal, such as anyone who is not part of my crew; the reason being is that I would love to look at and envy guys like myself all weekend. On the other hand, I have achieved so many goals at the tender age of 22, and the only ambition I have yet to accomplish is being incorrect. The countdown has begun, and there is less than 5 days before everyone can fall back to their knees in worship and honor of my holiness and omnipotence. "Excluding myself, the greatest thing God has ever created was reflection." This statement only applies to my crew and I. As for the rest of you, you should be grateful that there is such a thing as death, and anxiously anticipate and blissfully welcome it. I thank all my cohorts for their orderly conduct and decorum of the weekly parade in my honor. Without your support, what started out as a mere 5 people, had soon begun to garner cult-like support, and has now spread to 99% of the global population. As for the minority 1%, they symbolize the fraction of the population that are affected by trisomy 21, monosomy, or some other form of chromosomal mutation. I welcome everyone to proofread this post, but you would be wasting valuable thinking for a reply time.

step up to the plat randall, and make yourself known, and if we have tto much time on our hands, why is it that we have less posts than u do...ass.

I meant my prrevious thread for your response babe

see previous post xto...

Actually, we are all very different people, and upon your encounter with us, the only consequence to you will be internal conflict as to who's sperm count you would like to deplete first.

Hey good fella, the answer to your response is no book. I am a walking, unabridged dictionary, and I am well-educated. I surround myself with some of the most creative and innovative individuals who coincidentally happen to be God's 2nd - 6th most exceptional and essential humans ever created. Astonishingly, we are light years ahead of the norm pertaining to intelligence, physique, female disciples, and obviously grammatical skill. I yearn to type more, but unfortunately, the sounds of repetitive crests followed by troughs, and the numerous partisans are chanting my name...Shonger, Shlonger, Shlonger... and have begun to grow over-anxious in lingering for my influx, and my crews incursion onto the streets and sands of the jersey shore.

Now that the market has closed, u all will notice that there is a horde of people beginning the march on to the jersey shore... As you go down the parkway u begin to irrationally think that the entire continent will be at the jersey shore this weekend. Well, its true, for word has gotten out (again) that I will make my presence somewhere along the NJ section of the eastern seaboard. I genuinely appreciate all those individuals, some from as far away as Guada La Harra, who have taken the insurmountable risks associated with the extensive walk from your origin, to NJ, to be closer to my holiness. I rule wherever I am present, much like King Kamehameha... For those of you who dont know, King Kamehameha had anyone that looked at him killed, although I am less ruthless, and more understanding towards the futility and feebleness of anyone outside of my crew who is attentive to these posts, so I pardon you... The March Across the Americas, aka The Shlonger Parade ends in Belmar with DJais happy hour on Sunday, with the unveiling of my monument. All those who plan to attend, be careful. The line has already started forming, and the crowd is getting restless, and that is only the beginnning. When my crew and I step into DJAIS, everyone will know, for our aura will be so overwhelming, that if I had to pick one word synonomous with it, I would say TSUNAMI.

oh, and i cant tell u what i will be wearing this weekend, because i dont plan it 2 weeks in advance, but like i said, just look for the mob of girls at DJAIS on Sunday, and i will be at the epicenter of the crowd. Whatever I wear, will undoubtedly turn to nothing, as it will be torn to shreds, by females, off of my body, the nanosecond I step into DJAIS. I am not a juicehead, so look for the epitome of definition at the core of the female congregation.

This crew now has gained undoubtedly, the most significant, influential, and divine creature to ever grace the internet, let alone the universe. That's right, ME....Shlonger. I dare any other to step into my dome, as I will leave you with a feeling of frustration, awe, and envy. The contours of my body are carefully crafted and carved, that you will know such a creation is indeniably celestial, if not God himself; the equivalent of German precision with regards to enigineering. Ladies would need one calendar year, without sleep, to trace every line in my stomach alone. I dont need to introduce myself to anyone. If you need to find me, just look for the multitude of females, gasping for air, as I stroll by unfazed with the blowjob I am getting from YOUR girlfriend. My sheer touch alone makes women quiver as if they were an earthquake. My arms are scaled prototypes for jumbo jets. Call me Narcissustic, but when I look in the mirror every morning, I only regret one thing... Why couldn't I have been more athletic rather than soooo BEAUTIFUL and STUNNING. It's a cruel world... I do not state these facts with arrogance, however, I do state them with conviction. The truth is what it is, and if I deny any of these material facts, I would be doing an injustice to the world, but more importantly, I would be lying to myself first. I do not go near pools, rivers, lakes, or oceans, as I fear I may drown after being captivated and mesmerized by the relfection of myself in the water. For I am to blame for high insurance rates and 80% of car accidents caused in the state of NJ, due to the inevitable events of copious amounts of broken necks of people attempting and hoping to catch a glimpse of me. To all whom I've caused this grief and agony, I apologize, and hope I am vindicated of all wrong-doing...for it is not my fault, that the combination of my parents genome would produce such a transcendant phenotype. I leave with just one more thought... chosen0ne, Are you going to bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite.