There's a REASON ur still here, remember that....and nothing that happens to us is a coincidence!!! The is a reason for everything, and every step and breath we take is written from the day we are concieved if not before. Horrible as it might have been there is a reason for what happened to you, maybe it's the reason behind the MIND you have NOW....and the creativity that you hold within it. Besides you hold yourself better than any person that is supposedly normal does,if not better!!! Just keep ur head up the way u've been doing, it's working WONDERFULLY, and when the day comes that your lights go out....u'll be in that place you werent ready for, or the place that was not ready for you....and you shall see you weren't missing anything cause its ALL IN YOUR HEAD, doctors are humans and can make mistakes.....and even if this just a shot at making you feel better about it, I HOPE IT WORKS!!! Kisses Vamp